Diagnosis and counselling

Hi @h4kr I think I was lucky as my DSN saw it before I could acknowledge it, she was an absolute diamond with many years of experience and sadly now retired, the real issue for me was actually getting help though, altho my doc was happy listening, the only thing I was offered was pills, not my preferred choice but when you are low and not finding the mental strength to find a way out, then you'll take anything. It did help lift the cloud for me enough to actually do something about it so joined a Buddhist group for Saturday meditations, this really helped and within a month came off the pills. My depression came around 6 months in, and I associate it with the grieving process, so went through the shock, denial, anger, bargaining and hit depression around 6 months, once i'd learnt to accept it I was able to then cope and move on.

I think if someone had offered a program to help me mentally adjust with the sheer volume of type 1 at the start then I would of been able to cope better later on. Nowadays I run/cycle/swim to stay mentally fit and touch wood it's working so far.

Juicyj said:

I think if someone had offered a program to help me mentally adjust with the sheer volume of type 1 at the start then I would of been able to cope better later on.

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This. So much. Basically how I feel but I'm useless at asking for help so I'm stuck doing as much as I can to keep on top for now.

Hello @db89 Simple thing you can do is just get outside for a walk, breathing deeply as you go, it's a good way to calm the mind. I understand what you mean about asking for help, I found that incredibly hard, my DSN supported me and it was only because she told me to see the GP that I went otherwise I don't think I would of bothered and would of tried to of muddle my way through it, you really do need to ask for help, it's not a sign of weakness, even if it gives you the chance to talk it through with someone else then that will help and give you some support.

its stuff you need to come to terms with. the nhs simply could not provide councilling they have difficulty support those that really need support.

h4kr said:

us newly diagnosed go through some dark places (being overwhelmed, denial, despair, depression).

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You forgot bargaining.

Ok so I can't eat cake. But carrot cake is Ok right?
No.
But its made from carrots. And butter. Butter is good.
No.
But it's only carrots and butter icing!
No.
OK soooooo, what about if I only have half a slice, that Ok right?
No.
What if its the half without the butter icing that's got to be Ok.
What part of "No" are you not understanding is it the "N" or the "O"

I completely agree its like going through the 5 stages of grief denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
Which makes sense your old way of life is dead, it's gone and you have to come to terms with it.

Juicyj said:

Hello @db89 Simple thing you can do is just get outside for a walk, breathing deeply as you go, it's a good way to calm the mind. I understand what you mean about asking for help, I found that incredibly hard, my DSN supported me and it was only because she told me to see the GP that I went otherwise I don't think I would of bothered and would of tried to of muddle my way through it, you really do need to ask for help, it's not a sign of weakness, even if it gives you the chance to talk it through with someone else then that will help and give you some support.

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Thanks @Juicyj - I do enjoy a good walk (usually immersed in music with my earphones in). It's pretty much what I'm doing (muddling through it) - there's too much to write here but I recognise it clouds a large proportion of my thoughts each day and seeps it's way into everything.

Try as I might, I can't motivate myself to ask for any help and I convince myself I'm just a bother. That's not just this diagnosis - I've always liked to solve my own problems and I'm terrible at 'outsourcing' I guess.

h4kr said:

I don’t agree.. this is a life changing diagnosis and to me it qualifies as something that needs supporting!

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I agree with both of you on this one @h4kr

My daughter just got an B+ in her assessment at college. Lecture told her if she had photocopied more of her designs instead of recreating them by hand she would have got the A. But they are not allowed to tell them, that's something they mark on, it's against the government guidelines.

And that's where I agree with you help is needed, information and support are needed.
But if that support and information is following the government guidelines is it going to do more harm than good?

Just listening to the group meetings and Diabetic Appointments that people have talked about on here, where they are being given the wrong advice on purpose, (even though the people giving the advice don't believe what there saying) because its the government guidelines and they have to follow it.

There is support on here for you, probably better advice than you can get anywhere else, people who know exactly what you're going through, who are better informed than 90% of the health service.

paulus1 said:

he nhs simply could not provide councilling they have difficulty support those that really need support.

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who is to say who really needs support or not? If someone needs help, they need help, regardless of the cause or situation.

I disagree with you @paulus1 Being diagnosed with a life threatening condition is alot to come to terms with, the relentless testing/injecting every day and living on a roller coaster of BG levels, it's not stuff some us can easily come to terms with, that's like going to the GP and being told to sort yourself out, it doesn't work like that.

The implications of a type 1 diabetic not managing are far more serious and costly to the NHS than offering a counselling service which would help them acknowledge and cope better with their day to day management.

when people that are unable to live a normal life are unable to get support, its unrealistic to expect a service that cant handle clinically significant psychological conditions. to take on 10,000s of new cases. yes there are cases where diabetics have other issues that cause a worsening of there underlying conditions. or where its starts a condition off. but in general most diabetics will cope with it. maybe in a world where there was no limits to resources then yes but the nhs is not able to do that.sorry if you think im being insensitive im not just realistic. directing folks to sites like this and support groups would be better.

paulus1 said:

when people that are unable to live a normal life are unable to get support, its unrealistic to expect a service that cant handle clinically significant psychological conditions. to take on 10,000s of new cases. yes there are cases where diabetics have other issues that cause a worsening of there underlying conditions. or where its starts a condition off. but in general most diabetics will cope with it. maybe in a world where there was no limits to resources then yes but the nhs is not able to do that.sorry if you think im being insensitive im not just realistic. directing folks to sites like this and support groups would be better.

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I knew you would come back with that point.

However, my disagreement is with your use of the tern 'really need' A lack of NHS resources does not alter the fact that the OP has a real need, just like anyone else, even if there isnt any way for them to get the help they really need. Saying that the OP does not have a real need is uncalled for and trivializes the way the OP feels.

By saying that the OP, and others like them, do not have a 'real need', so should back off and leave the resources available to those who, in your view, have a 'real need' is insensitive and judgmental and minimizing these difficulties damages people in need of help even more.

@paulus1 Sadly your post smacks of ignorance.

Firstly plucking a figure of 10,000 out of the air to emphasise your point is misleading.

Secondly you fail to realise the true cost of realising what support can offer patients who fail to test or monitor their condition is to the NHS, this is the sad fact that those really at the lowest depths of despair face when unable to manage their condition, I sincerely doubt this is in the 10,000's..

You also have no concept of compassion, your post trivialises the matter of the real need some diabetics face with a lifetime of insulin and the after math of diagnosis and dealing with depression, until you walk in someone else's shoes will you ever really understand what others face. The NHS has a duty and responsibility to help those in need without discrimination, your point serves no purpose in this thread.

lucylocket61 said:

However, my disagreement is with your use of the tern 'really need' A lack of NHS resources does not alter the fact that the OP has a real need, just like anyone else

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Hi Lucy,
I think @paulus1 is saying there is a difference between struggling to cope and unable to cope, "real need" to use his term.
And I completely agree with you its shocking that its not until someone falls of the edge, into unable to cope that help can be provided.
But I think you would agree that taking away the support from some who is unable to cope is not the solution, and as Paul says that's the only option available to the NHS.
It's not lack of sensitivity to anyone who is struggling and in need of help. I believe the original post by @h4kr is right on the money, that something attune to grief counselling is needed.

I read a post on here today and it was clear the poster who had just been diagnosed considered it a death sentence.They are clearly in need of support. But isn't that why were here giving up our time to offer that support where we can.

When I joined it was to ask a question to help me. I never imagined I would find myself offering support to others.

When I was diagnosed I was initially told over the telephone by the receptionist! I then saw the GP, she was very good and I was feeling fairly positive and said I was going to control the diabetes not let it control me. However a week later I fell apart! I saw a different GP who gave me antidepressants (which I asked for as I need them every so often) and she told me a health worker would phone me in 2 days time. The health worker phoned as I had been told, we had a lovely chat, she was so supportive and told me I needed to be kind to myself, and she gave me 2 phone numbers and said I could ring any time for a friendly ear. Once I asked for help, I was given it. But I can appreciate that some people find it hard to ask. @paulus1 maybe you didn't realise the OP is T1 which must be far harder to 'come to terms with' than being diagnosed with T2. But T1 or T2 if you need help then you need help and should get it.

@paulus1 a newly diagnosed type 1 diabetic is handed a a drug ( fast acting insulin) that has not only the power to keep blood sugars in control but also the power to KILL with an overdose..............the margins for error are small................so imagine you are getting yourhead around this life change and there is no psychological support to assist.................do i take 5 units and end up in DKA ( diabetic ketoacidosis ) or 8 units and levels are ok ? or take 11 units and end up in hospital with a severe hypo ................and this scenario plays out at every meal every day................do you not have enough compassion to think that we might need some mental support to deal with this.................along with living our lives like everyone else...........??????

There is no Spoon said:

Hi Lucy,
I think @paulus1 is saying there is a difference between struggling to cope and unable to cope, "real need" to use his term.
And I completely agree with you its shocking that its not until someone falls of the edge, into unable to cope that help can be provided.
But I think you would agree that taking away the support from some who is unable to cope is not the solution, and as Paul says that's the only option available to the NHS.
It's not lack of sensitivity to anyone who is struggling and in need of help. I believe the original post by @h4kr is right on the money, that something attune to grief counselling is needed.

I read a post on here today and it was clear the poster who had just been diagnosed considered it a death sentence.They are clearly in need of support. But isn't that why were here giving up our time to offer that support where we can.

When I joined it was to ask a question to help me. I never imagined I would find myself offering support to others.

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thank you for replying and sharing your thoughts. I will respectfully disagree with your take on what @paulus1 is saying.

Diabetes changes your life forever that's a fact, i got type 1 in 1979 aged three and there was little in the means pf support you were in hospital for a lot longer than now. I have had diabetic problems since day one and mental health issues since i was 18 and still do today. My parents had to learn a whole new way of life in terms of diet and insulin, they gave them a orange to practice injecting me. My mental health problems are part of diabetes as the worry, stress and depression are there most of the time, i have tried everything but it works for so long then the worry is back. My diabetic team have now got a mental health worker who only deals with diabetes and its problems which is a step forward as they know what you are talking about. This is the first time that i will see someone who only deals with diabetes but i think every diabetic should be able to see one. I recently had a pip assessment done by a physio but most of my problems are due to diabetes and as i told him that i see 6 different consultants about 6 different things and none of them are in your field. He told me he had been trained to which i said if your car broke down you would not phone a baker to fix it, he would ask me questions and when i would start to answer he would say i need to know how it effects you now but i told him that to get to the answer you need to start at the time it started. Then he asked for evidence of my problems but when i gave him letters he said he did not want them even though these were off the consultants who were telling him my problems. I have a copy of the report but am waiting to see if i get it but by the report i do, the man who did the report said i had put only 3 bits of evidence in which i never there was 15 bits of evidence. I photo copied the questions and reply's and also the evidence as i have had trouble with atos before

Under parity of esteem many areas offer online therapy or telephone consultations at a time to suit you. If you are not sure of your CCG you could google your GP to find out, then look for IAPT (Improving Access to Psychological Therapy) to find out what is available from your CCG. You could also try MIND https://www.mind.org.uk/ who can signpost you. Hope this helps. x