Type 2 Dilemma, Should I Mind My Own Business?

[briped]

My niece is coming over for a bite to eat on Tuesday 18th. I look forward to seeing her. She's a lovely young woman in her mid 20es, but last time we were together she giggled and mentioned that she had to get up 4 times every night to pee. I can't remember the context, but then she remarked how much she loved her potatoes, and had rather a large helping. I advised her to get her A1C checked at her GPs, and left it at that. I doubt she's taken my advice, though.
When I invited her and her boyfriend I asked her if there was anything she didn't eat. She said she'd be happy as long as there were either plenty of rice or potatoes. All very well. I don't mind cooking carbs for others at all, so her wish is my command, of course, but I am a little worried about her for the following reasons.
Her night pees, the fact that she's adopted from India, T2 nation of the world for whatever reason, and she's gone from slim to somewhat chubby over the last 5-6 years. I'm probably just being a bit paranoid on her behalf, and wonder if I should mind my own business, or nudge her to have it checked out.
What would you do?

 

[Guzzler]

It is a difficult situation but ask yourself this, can you stand by until it is possibly too late to prevent the onset of Pre Diabetes or Type 2 Diabetes? It is obvious that you are very fond of your neice and it follows that she must be fond of you. I would try to get her on her own, sit her down and 'have the conversation'.
Being a widow with three sons I had to make sure I had a similar conversation with all of my children about sex education, not easy I can tell you, but these talks are necessary if a little awkward.
Best of luck.

 

[Indy51]

I definitely understand your concern - and the genetic factors would be a big issue in her case.
I think I'd be inclined to talk about the Indian diabetes forum and what brilliant results they're having in a country wracked with metabolic syndrome, etc.
It's a kind of sneaky, roundabout way of raising the subject without being too pushy - maybe?

 

[briped]

Thanks. It's great to hear the opinions of others. I'll do my husband's carby packed lunch and get back to the forum in a bit

 

[Rachox]

I couldn’t stand by and not say anything in your situation. If she is diagnosed Type 2 somewhere along the line she’ll thank you for it and have her own personal adviser on how to deal with it

 

[briped]

You're right, all of you. I can't just stand by and do nothing at all. It's just that I'm not a pushy person, and would hate to overstep her boundaries. I hope she'll understand that my only reason for meddling is her own wellbeing. I also hope she'll get it checked out, and that my fears will prove groundless, like they did when I had my younger, very obese sister checked out.
She has enough on her plate as it is, but no reason to heap even more on that proverbial plate in years to come, if it can be prevented. Thanks for your help.

 

[Bluetit1802]

Could you get your meter out and do your pre-meal/after meal tests in front of her? She may well be interested enough to ask you to test her? This happened once with my own daughter, her husband and 2 adult children when they were here for a meal. They were curious enough to want to see their results..

 

[briped]

Could you get your meter out and do your pre-meal/after meal tests in front of her? She may well be interested enough to ask you to test her? This happened once with my own daughter, her husband and 2 adult children when they were here for a meal. They were curious enough to want to see their results..

Actually that's a spiffing idea. I had that thought too I know it won't be conclusive at all, but it might spike her interest.

 

[Bluetit1802]

Actually that's a spiffing idea. I had that thought too I know it won't be conclusive at all, but it might spike her interest.

Yes, it might "spike" her interest , and it may also put your mind at rest if she tests normal.

 

[Indy51]

Yes, it might "spike" her interest , and it may also put your mind at rest if she tests normal.

I reckon we all know that the answer to that is "snowballs chance in hell". People of asian descent simply cannot afford to put on any weight. If it gets her to test, it's a great idea though.

 

[briped]

Yes, it might "spike" her interest , and it may also put your mind at rest if she tests normal.

Pun intended You're absolutely right. Best outcome is we'd both be relieved.

 

[briped]

If it gets her to test, it's a great idea though.

And that's the main idea, so I'll go for it. Her mum reacted like that earlier this summer, so I know it could work.

 

[Resurgam]

Oh if only - in my mid twenties I had been seeing good results with low carb eating and so many people were telling me that I was stupid to be eating such a strange and dangerous diet - yet I felt so much better and my waist has begun to shrink again. To have been able to see what my blood glucose levels were would have helped a lot. I might never have gone through the trauma of pre-eclampsia in pregnancy, never have reached 264lb - my knees might be in better condition. Knowledge is power.

 

[Robbity]

Could you get your meter out and do your pre-meal/after meal tests in front of her? She may well be interested enough to ask you to test her? This happened once with my own daughter, her husband and 2 adult children when they were here for a meal. They were curious enough to want to see their results..

I was going to suggest this too - I once did something similar with my nearly-as-overweight-as-me sister, but unfortunately we never got to do a final 2 hour post meal test as she had to leave for a long trip home ...

Robbity

 

[Phoenix55]

If she doesn't rise to the 'bait' perhaps in a quiet moment suggest that you are concerned about her recent weight gain, perhaps compliment her on her more curvy figure. You may find that she is concerned about weight gain herself but has put it down to some other reason. If nothing comes from it leave well alone but let her know that you are eating a different meal because you are diabetic. If she comes back to you then all well and good, if not then be the loving aunt you are already, who is eager to listen. At times it is difficult to back off from something that we see as obvious, but we each have to come to the position of admitting that we need help ourselves. It is best to keep the communication channels open.

 

[briped]

I was going to suggest this too - I once did something similar with my nearly-as-overweight-as-me sister, but unfortunately we never got to do a final 2 hour post meal test as she had to leave for a long trip home ...

Robbity

Do you know if she got tested later, and was she ok? All I know is that the GP told my younger sister to go for some long walks and to get her pulse up, but she's mentally handicapped and it's very difficult to get a straight answer from her, so I still don't know what the result of her blood test was. I do know that if one day she's diagnosed with T2 it'll be impossible for me to help her. She lives a 5 hour drive away from me, and wouldn't be able to manage any sort of diet, and everybody around her thinks that low fat is the way to go. Holding my fingers crossed for her

 

[briped]

If she doesn't rise to the 'bait' perhaps in a quiet moment suggest that you are concerned about her recent weight gain, perhaps compliment her on her more curvy figure. You may find that she is concerned about weight gain herself but has put it down to some other reason. If nothing comes from it leave well alone but let her know that you are eating a different meal because you are diabetic. If she comes back to you then all well and good, if not then be the loving aunt you are already, who is eager to listen. At times it is difficult to back off from something that we see as obvious, but we each have to come to the position of admitting that we need help ourselves. It is best to keep the communication channels open.

Thanks. I think I'll leave the weight gain alone, but perhaps jokingly ask her if she's still doing her nocturnal sojourns to the loo. Weight gain is such a touchy subject for most people, and I'd hate to push her away from me. She might not know that people of Asian descent tend to be at greater risk for getting T2, but I might slip that in too. I'll play it by ear and go very gently with her. Let's see what happens. If I plan too carefully she's likely to smell a rat She does know that I eat LCHF and that I'm doing it to keep my BS low and stable. Her dad is wonderful at cooking LCHF meals for me, and picked up on the idea in no time. I eat so much better at their place than at home

 

[Hotpepper20000]

Thanks. I think I'll leave the weight gain alone, but perhaps jokingly ask her if she's still doing her nocturnal sojourns to the loo. Weight gain is such a touchy subject for most people, and I'd hate to push her away from me. She might not know that people of Asian descent tend to be at greater risk for getting T2, but I might slip that in too. I'll play it by ear and go very gently with her. Let's see what happens. If I plan too carefully she's likely to smell a rat She does know that I eat LCHF and that I'm doing it to keep my BS low and stable. Her dad is wonderful at cooking LCHF meals for me, and picked up on the idea in no time. I eat so much better at their place than at home

I agree about not commenting on the weight gain. She knows she has gained weight and pointing it out will not create a positive reaction.
But gently asking how she is feeling and concern about the peeing multiple times a night might be more effective.

 

[briped]

Update: Everything went well, and I do mean everything. She didn't take my BG meter bait, but she's such an open person that 2 hours after the meal (Low Carb chicken casserole with cauliflower for me and rice for her) I decided to be frank with her. I told her about the high number of T2 patients in Asia, and that she got me worried when she mentioned her nightly pees. I asked her if she'd like me to test her blood sugar. She agreed, and was even pleased that I told her about the high frequency of T2s in India, as she didn't know, and would bear it in mind in future. Anyway, two hours after her very carby meal we tested, and the result was 5.7!! Yay! Nothing to worry about at the moment, and we were both really pleased.

 

[DJC3]

Update: Everything went well, and I do mean everything. She didn't take my BG meter bait, but she's such an open person that 2 hours after the meal (Low Carb chicken casserole with cauliflower for me and rice for her) I decided to be frank with her. I told her about the high number of T2 patients in Asia, and that she got me worried when she mentioned her nightly pees. I asked her if she'd like me to test her blood sugar. She agreed, and was even pleased that I told her about the high frequency of T2s in India, as she didn't know, and would bear it in mind in future. Anyway, two hours after her very carby meal we tested, and the result was 5.7!! Yay! Nothing to worry about at the moment, and we were both really pleased.

Well done! Sounds like you handled the situation really well and now the seed has been planted in her mind she will be more aware for the future.
I have a similar situation with 2 of my daughters who, like me, have a tendency to put on weight around their middle. I try to talk about this in a gentle non- confrontational way and they do take on board what I’m saying. They too have tested before and after meals with me but are in normal range at the moment.
They’ve seen the benefits of cutting carbs for me so I just hope that even just cutting out added sugar and fast food most of the time will be enough to keep them healthy.