Duck goes into a pub

[pleinster]

A duck goes into a pub. Stuns barman by asking for a pint. Barman says "We don't get many talking ducks round here". The duck shakes his head angrily and says "look. I've had a hard shift today...just give me the bloody pint". So he does.

Barman bumps into old pal who runs a circus (as you do) and talks about the talking duck with the attitude. The circus owner is interested and says he may have work for the duck...maybe for a quite a lot of money.

A wee later, the duck comes in again. "Oh hi you..how's things?"asks the barman. The duck shakes his head, saying "Look, I've had a hard day today. I don't want chit chat. Just give me a bloody pint!"

The barman pours it but adds "A friend of mine own a circus..says he may have some good work for you".

The duck shakes his head and asks "What the hell would a circus want with a plasterer? Pint!"

 

[Redsnapper]

HahahahahahahHA!!!!!! Cheers pal hosin masell!!

 

[pleinster]

Blue bear goes into pub...
Gets wallet out and asks for a lager.
Barman thinks ...a blue bear? He will never know the price of a pint.
"£6.50 please"
The bear drinks up and heads for the door.
Barman calls after him "Hey! We don't get many blue bears in here"
Bear says "I'm not surprised at your bloody prices!"

 

[pleinster]

HahahahahahahHA!!!!!! Cheers pal hosin masell!!

Much foul language to add to the duck's character has been stripped, but you get the idea.

 

[pleinster]

White horse goes into a pub and asks for a whisky....

NOT THIS IS NOT THE"WHY THE LONG FACE?" JOKE

Barman says..."Well...we have a lot of whiskeys...Bells...Grouse...Teachers....even have one named after you..."
Horse looks confused and says "What? Dobbin?"

 

[Redsnapper]

White horse goes into a pub and asks for a whisky....

NOT THIS IS NOT THE"WHY THE LONG FACE?" JOKE

Barman says..."Well...we have a lot of whiskeys...Bells...Grouse...Teachers....even have one named after you..."
Horse looks confused and says "What? Dobbin?"

Ha be tellin that one tomorrow!!

 

[pleinster]

Sorry...they are tragic...but...cannae keep it inside or I'll go nuts, eh?

 

[CollieBoy]

Reminds me of the duck, Who"got lucky" in his hotel room, that rang down to room service for a pack of condoms.
Room service, said "Certainly sir! Will I just put them on Your bill?"
The duck said "No way, I'd suffocate"

 

[13lizanne]

Sorry...they are tragic...but...cannae keep it inside or I'll go nuts, eh?

Had a good laugh @pleinster thanks

 

[Robbity]

Much foul language to add to the duck's character has been stripped, but you get the idea.

Surely ducks always use fowl language?

Robbity

 

[pleinster]

Surely ducks always use fowl language?

Robbity

Kwaks me up!