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Dumplings? Friend determined to sabotage Diet

Maggie/Magpie said:
Hi All,
Just to up date:
Yesterday I was honest with my friend and told her how I felt. My friend took offence at me suggesting I was going to make her and the others up a pack about diabetes, the diet and recipe suggestions.. Apparently she knows all about type 1 & 2 diabetes already and dosn't need it. She then cancelled the quiz night and future Tuesday lunches then wouldn't talk to me. This morning she did eventually answer my text asking how she was. But that's been it. I have to ask myself if she knows so much about diabetes then why isn't she being more supportive? She bends over backward for another friend who apparently can't eat dairy, but can eat a block of cathedral city cheese? Which I feel is a bit questionable? Iv'e decided to give her some space and see what happens.
Maggie
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If she's so up to date on diabetes then she would not be taking this attitude - sounds like she doesn't like being told she's in the wrong. If she's took the pip well that's her bad not yours - its your health you have to look after and if she was such a good friend she'd be supportive rather than taking the hump. Sadly, some friends you have to let go. Just depends if she wants to change her attitude or not. Just have to wait and see I'm afraid.:banghead:
 
Nicksu said:
If she's so up to date on diabetes then she would not be taking this attitude - sounds like she doesn't like being told she's in the wrong. If she's took the pip well that's her bad not yours - its your health you have to look after and if she was such a good friend she'd be supportive rather than taking the hump. Sadly, some friends you have to let go. Just depends if she wants to change her attitude or not. Just have to wait and see I'm afraid.:banghead:
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Unfortunately, your right she dose not like to be wrong and claims she never lies but I'm having my doubts. It is my health and I have to take care of it now, I realise that, which is what I'm trying to do. This just makes it so much harder. To be honest I don't need the stress it's causing.
I have enough already trying to get my head around being diabetic as it is.
Maggie
 
Hi @Maggie/Magpie - I agree with what Brunneria says, above.
So sorry to hear that your friend's reaction has been so negative. It sounds to me as if her somewhat angry response was based on embarrassment, hence the denial and she's defending herself by protesting she knows all about it & pushing you away. I suspect that underneath the bossiness, always has to be right, being the centre of attention (by hosting events and organising everything), and now cancelling the quiz, and your regular lunches, she's really a very insecure person underneath all the bluster. In which case, if that's true, she may find it very difficult to approach you when she's come to her senses. Give her space - yes, absolutely. Depends how much you want her friendship (and perhaps that of the others in the group) whether you keep the communication lines open, and for how long. The longer it goes on the more difficult it is to break the ice & heal the breach - so, it may come down to you making the first move towards her, even though you've already done so once. That does not mean you give way, nor concede anything - you've made your point, stood your ground, and she knows it.
 
Salvia said:
That does not mean you give way, nor concede anything - you've made your point, stood your ground, and she knows it.
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You're right.
Everybody here knows that diabetes is serious business. Non-diabietics and some diabetics thinks that it's not. You've asked an help for a friend and received an overreaction. Maybe because she's not really a friend but more an acquaintance, to but it bluntly?
If she's starts to burn bridges I'm not calling the fire brigade, but on the other hand I'll not put petrol on the bridge.
 
Salvia said:
Hi @Maggie/Magpie - I agree with what Brunneria says, above.
So sorry to hear that your friend's reaction has been so negative. It sounds to me as if her somewhat angry response was based on embarrassment, hence the denial and she's defending herself by protesting she knows all about it & pushing you away. I suspect that underneath the bossiness, always has to be right, being the centre of attention (by hosting events and organising everything), and now cancelling the quiz, and your regular lunches, she's really a very insecure person underneath all the bluster. In which case, if that's true, she may find it very difficult to approach you when she's come to her senses. Give her space - yes, absolutely. Depends how much you want her friendship (and perhaps that of the others in the group) whether you keep the communication lines open, and for how long. The longer it goes on the more difficult it is to break the ice & heal the breach - so, it may come down to you making the first move towards her, even though you've already done so once. That does not mean you give way, nor concede anything - you've made your point, stood your ground, and she knows it.
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well in the future you could brings some food of your own if nessesary ... I would do that ... a lot of people do not want to change their eating habits because their friend suddenly has got a really troubling desease... some very good mature friend would maybe change all foods or just some foods... I myself would never demand my friends and my Family not to eat sweets and deserts even though I have to Watch it.... but also I would not eat the foods put in front of me it it is really bad for me...

well it is sad but it will be a continous problem we have to deal with everywhere the rest of our life ... I think I talk far too much of my diabetes and that a lot are rather tired of hearing of my new bad condition.. but my way of tackling a crisis is to talk about it... but I will learn to accept that everyone around me eat just what they like to , actually I have already accepted it...also I buy sweets and fuzzy-drinks and chips and alike to my daughter and Nutella and so on.. just once in a while, and then I am happy that she at least do not have to be deprived all the things I am...

we can´t stop the world and make it fit to us... we are the ones who are ill , and if they do not want to take care ... there is not much we can do...so many times I bring my own food... just to be sure there is something that I can eat.. my mother still thinks that someday again I´ll eat normal and looked chocked when I told her I am never going to eat like before.

It is a difficult situation and we are tempted all the time... but we can eat some nuts or alike before the meal so we are not so hungry and tempted or cheese or many other healthy foods bring an avocado and so on, so maybe in the end real friends will by themselves take more and more care and make sure there is something we can eat when invited out by them
 
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Freema said:
well in the future you could brings some food of your own if nessesary ... I would do that ... a lot of people do not want to change their eating habits because their friend suddenly has got a really troubling desease... some very good mature friend would maybe change all foods or just some foods... I myself would never demand my friends and my Family not to eat sweets and deserts even though I have to Watch it.... but also I would not eat the foods put in front of me it it is really bad for me...

well it is sad but it will be a continous problem we have to deal with everywhere the rest of our life ... I think I talk far too much of my diabetes and that a lot are rather tired of hearing of my new bad condition.. but my way of tackling a crisis is to talk about it... but I will learn to accept that everyone around me eat just what they like to , actually I have already accepted it...also I buy sweets and fuzzy-drinks and chips and alike to my daughter and Nutella and so on.. just once in a while, and then I am happy that she at least do not have to be deprived all the things I am...

we can´t stop the world and make it fit to us... we are the ones who are ill , and if they do not want to take care ... there is not much we can do...so many times I bring my own food... just to be sure there is something that I can eat.. my mother still thinks that someday again I´ll eat normal and looked chocked when I told her I am never going to eat like before.

It is a difficult situation and we are tempted all the time... but we can eat some nuts or alike before the meal so we are not so hungry and tempted or cheese or many other healthy foods bring an avocado and so on, so maybe in the end real friends will by themselves take more and more care and make sure there is something we can eat when invited out by them
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Hi Freema,
Your right maybe I'm just over reacting. I know life has to carry on and I have to make healthy choices myself which is fine I'm prepared to do that, I just thought that a really good friend; as she is meant to be and one who knows so much about it; would actually try to help me make those choices but maybe I'm expecting too much?
Maggie
 
Maggie/Magpie said:
Hi Freema,
Your right maybe I'm just over reacting. I know life has to carry on and I have to make healthy choices myself which is fine I'm prepared to do that, I just thought that a really good friend; as she is meant to be and one who knows so much about it; would actually try to help me make those choices but maybe I'm expecting too much?
Maggie
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Yes I do understand you are disapointed and maybe she is NOT the best of friends in the end , But maybe she don't really understand even though she says so the seriosity of this condition , I never thought much of diabetes before I got it myself , and seriously have never thought of how difficult it is to get foods that are suitable for diabetics in kantines and restaurants and alike before getting it myself
 
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Sorry to read about your friends reaction.. what you did was correct and you're in no way to blame. .. Put it down to experience and move forward x
I love this Friends for a season poem.


People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

When you figure out which one it is,

you will know what to do for each person.


When someone is in your life for a REASON,

it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty;

to provide you with guidance and support;

to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend, and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be.


Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,

this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.

Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.


Some people come into your life for a SEASON,

because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.


LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;

things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,

and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
 
Hi all,
Just seen this as been working some crazy shifts! I take 500mg Metaformin and 40mg Gliclazide. Only diagnosed 4 weeks ago so still on a learning curve. Today I read 13.6 before eating chicken, broccoli, cauliflower,carrots, Yorkshire puddings and a tablespoon of mashed potatoes (just couldn't resist) 2 hours later reading is 4.6.
 
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