Dumplings? Friend determined to sabotage Diet

[Maggie/Magpie]

Hi All,
Is it possible to eat Dumplings and stew on LCHF diet?
I have a friend who despite knowing I'm recently diagnosed type 2 and the diet I'm following, keeps trying to sabotage me every thursday. I go to hers every week for dinner and then on to the local quiz night. Last week she dished up fruit crumble with custard and this week is planning stew and dumplings. I've tried telling her about my diet and how 'cruel' shes being dangling such temptation in front of me but she carries on. Its really hard to resist when everyone else is enjoying such things around me. I appreciate her feeding me, its lovely and I don't want to stop others enjoying her delicious food. But how do I get through to her that I can't eat such things without causing offence or potentially loosing one of my few friends I have?
Maggie/Magpie

 

[Squire Fulwood]

The tests I did on dumplings years ago suggested that they affected your blood sugar according to how old they were. Fresh dumplings with the suet still there were not a problem. Old dumplings (the next day) were a problem.

 

[Maggie/Magpie]

The tests I did on dumplings years ago suggested that they affected your blood sugar according to how old they were. Fresh dumplings with the suet still there were not a problem. Old dumplings (the next day) were a problem.

Ok thanks.

 

[Bevjones]

Hi Maggie
She is not such a good friend if she serves you food that is bad for you and takes offence if you don't eat it.
Can you invite her to yours and dish up healthy food. Or just eat the healthy bits of food and say the remaining food is "killer food". Because that is the end result, too much stodgy food is bad for us all, especially us .
I have been blaze about my condition and am now experiencing effects. I get burning feet and sensations in my legs. I try and tell myself that carbs, especially sugar, are directly causing this; and since I have listened to myself the symptoms have improved.
Good luck with your "friend"

 

[75Bedford]

I think if it were me I would just eat the stew and leave the dumplings and say sorry but can't have those due to my diabetes and if you do it every week (where possible) the penny might drop or alternatively suggest a few low carb meals for her to make as she may not like to admit she doesn't fully understand the low carb "thing".

 

[Bluetit1802]

It wouldn't be the dumplings that concerned me but the gravy in the stew - and the type of vegetables used. Sorry ......

Maybe a quiet word with her next time about what you can and can't eat? If you were a vegan she wouldn't be serving you with any animal based foods. I had to do this with my friend once. I was really worried about her reaction but she was the embarrassed one and had to admit she had no idea that carbs were the problem in addition to sugar.

 

[qe5rt]

Admittedly i don't know your friend(s) but i know none of my friends would be offended when i told them i couldn't eat those. I understand the temptation issue but honestly that's something that's going to happen a lot but self control and being a bit assertive should cover those.

 

[Maggie/Magpie]

Hi Maggie
She is not such a good friend if she serves you food that is bad for you and takes offence if you don't eat it.
Can you invite her to yours and dish up healthy food. Or just eat the healthy bits of food and say the remaining food is "killer food". Because that is the end result, too much stodgy food is bad for us all, especially us .
I have been blaze about my condition and am now experiencing effects. I get burning feet and sensations in my legs. I try and tell myself that carbs, especially sugar, are directly causing this; and since I have listened to myself the symptoms have improved.
Good luck with your "friend"

Thanks.

 

[Maggie/Magpie]

I think if it were me I would just eat the stew and leave the dumplings and say sorry but can't have those due to my diabetes and if you do it every week (where possible) the penny might drop or alternatively suggest a few low carb meals for her to make as she may not like to admit she doesn't fully understand the low carb "thing".

I've tried talking to her several times and making alternative suggestions. I know she's trying to find 'winter warming foods' now the weathers got colder etc. But it's not sinking in. I guess all I can do is keep trying.

 

[Maggie/Magpie]

It wouldn't be the dumplings that concerned me but the gravy in the stew - and the type of vegetables used. Sorry ......

Maybe a quiet word with her next time about what you can and can't eat? If you were a vegan she wouldn't be serving you with any animal based foods. I had to do this with my friend once. I was really worried about her reaction but she was the embarrassed one and had to admit she had no idea that carbs were the problem in addition to sugar.

Hi
I know but its so difficult, I don't want to loose her friendship as she understands me on so many other level's. I've tried talking, making suggestions etc maybe I should print some info off for her, but I don't want to make life harder for her, she already puts herself out for another friend who says she can't tolerate dairy (but for some reason can eat cheese? Umm I know dosen't make sense to me either). I guess I'm trying too hard not to offend. She's now talking about dishing up potatoes in the stew as well as mash potatoe! She clearly isn't taking anything on board.

 

[bulkbiker]

Invite her to your house instead and feed her there.. ? Then you can show her what you should be eating (and how great it is). Alternatively just meet at the quiz night.

 

[Bluetit1802]

Hi
I know but its so difficult, I don't want to loose her friendship as she understands me on so many other level's. I've tried talking, making suggestions etc maybe I should print some info off for her, but I don't want to make life harder for her, she already puts herself out for another friend who says she can't tolerate dairy (but for some reason can eat cheese? Umm I know dosen't make sense to me either). I guess I'm trying too hard not to offend. She's now talking about dishing up potatoes in the stew as well as mash potatoe! She clearly isn't taking anything on board.

You have no choice but to take the bull by the horns and talk to her. Explain your condition is carb intolerance and that when you eat carbs your BS levels go sky high and this is very bad for your health.( If by chance she watched that Panorama programme the other week she may have some idea of what you are facing if you don't control matters.) If she has no idea you shouldn't eat carbs then she needs to know. If she does know but is ignoring that fact, then she isn't doing you any favours at all.

 

[Brunneria]

Only you know your friend and the situation, but i am a bloody minded old bird, and i value my health enough to get my point across - though i would have to think long and hard about how to do it.

Depending on the friend, i might
- take my own large salad and eat it out of the tupperware, while stabbing the chunks of meat out of the stew with my fork - leaving the dumplings, the gravy and the root veg behind
- invite her over instead of going there, and serve MY food, explaining why.
- stop going
- explain, openly and clearly, that carbs are bad for me (for all you know, she has been busily looking up carb-stuffed Diabetic Recipes online and thinks she is giving you superbly diabetic foods. There are a lot of recipes like that on the diabetes UK charity website - because they think carbs are GOOD. )
- simply stay 'I can't eat that. Can I just have a ham salad?'
- give her some recipes or the web address of some diet doctor recipes
- eat before I go, so that I don't even want her stew...

We have an interesting situation going on with my In Laws. None of them know that I am T2. I'm not hiding it. I just don't want the aggro, confusion and fuss that will accompany the revelation, and strangely I have never raised the subject . And I can't face the sympathy. I don't feel I need any sympathy - but they would offer it - in spades.

So we gently manipulate things (it isn't hard!) to always take them out to places I know I can find something. Luckily Pops loves carveries.
- they never notice that my choices are subtly different from theirs.
That really surprised me. Almost as though I wasn't the centre of their universe!

 

[Maggie/Magpie]

Admittedly i don't know your friend(s) but i know none of my friends would be offended when i told them i couldn't eat those. I understand the temptation issue but honestly that's something that's going to happen a lot but self control and being a bit assertive should cover those.

Hi,
Unfortunately or fortunately depending how you look at it most of my friends like me have mental health issues so I have to tread a little delicately at times like these.
Also I'm a binge eater on any thing, but especially carbs and sugar. so temptation is in overdrive lol. But I'm trying really hard to change all of that now.
I understand what you are saying, guess I have to just keep persevering and plugging away at things slowly.
Thanks for your post it's appreciated.

 

[Maggie/Magpie]

You have no choice but to take the bull by the horns and talk to her. Explain your condition is carb intolerance and that when you eat carbs your BS levels go sky high and this is very bad for your health.( If by chance she watched that Panorama programme the other week she may have some idea of what you are facing if you don't control matters.) If she has no idea you shouldn't eat carbs then she needs to know. If she does know but is ignoring that fact, then she isn't doing you any favours at all.

Yeah, I know your all right, it's just knowing how to approach it?

 

[Bluetit1802]

Yeah, I know your all right, it's just knowing how to approach it?

It is hard, I appreciate that, but it has to be direct whilst telling her how you absolutely love her cooking and are devastated that you can't eat it. Be full of praise.

Until you have done this it may be best to suggest either you all go out to eat, or you simply stay away in order to avoid temptation. Either that or you eat it, suffer the binge cravings, and take the consequences with your blood sugars.

I see no other choices.

 

[Maggie/Magpie]

Only you know your friend and the situation, but i am a bloody minded old bird, and i value my health enough to get my point across - though i would have to think long and hard about how to do it.

Depending on the friend, i might
- take my own large salad and eat it out of the tupperware, while stabbing the chunks of meat out of the stew with my fork - leaving the dumplings, the gravy and the root veg behind
- invite her over instead of going there, and serve MY food, explaining why.
- stop going
- explain, openly and clearly, that carbs are bad for me (for all you know, she has been busily looking up carb-stuffed Diabetic Recipes online and thinks she is giving you superbly diabetic foods. There are a lot of recipes like that on the diabetes UK charity website - because they think carbs are GOOD. )
- simply stay 'I can't eat that. Can I just have a ham salad?'
- give her some recipes or the web address of some diet doctor recipes
- eat before I go, so that I don't even want her stew...

We have an interesting situation going on with my In Laws. None of them know that I am T2. I'm not hiding it. I just don't want the aggro, confusion and fuss that will accompany the revelation, and strangely I have never raised the subject . And I can't face the sympathy. I don't feel I need any sympathy - but they would offer it - in spades.

So we gently manipulate things (it isn't hard!) to always take them out to places I know I can find something. Luckily Pops loves carveries.
- they never notice that my choices are subtly different from theirs.
That really surprised me. Almost as though I wasn't the centre of their universe!

I've tried pointing out things on the menu when we go out for a meal that I can't, she asks questions but it dosn't sink in. It dosn't help that another friend has also been recently diagnosed type 2, but she's not taking it seriously and still eats everything! So I guess my friend is getting mixed messages.
I guess I'm going to have to be tough, sit them all down together, print off all the information necessary for all of them, produce their own individual packs, try and explain things again with stronger emphasis and hope it finally sinks in.
I think I'm going to have similar problems when it comes to my family, they know but thats as far as it gets, like you their find things out as and when needed, I've already had my sister expecting me not to ask for a diabetic/LCHF diet at her sons wedding as she dosn't want that putting the bill up, caring ahh? But that's another issue for another day.
Thanks for the advise definitely welcomed.

 

[MikePea]

As Bluetit states. Take the bull by the horns. It would seem that this is the only way. She obviously does not understand your true predicament. Some years ago I developed an aversion to garlic. It made me violently sick. My family thought it was a put up job until I threw up at a restaurant where we were having a family do. I could, of course, smell garlic as the food was delivered but was assured that there was none on my plate. (This always annoyed my family that I made the no garlic stipulation before I chose the food). Unfortunately the waiter did not take me seriously and I made an ungentlemanly rush for the toilet after the first mouthful. On my return I gave the barely touched plateful back to the waiter. Everyone was embarrassed by the incident. But since then I get no grief. The family and friends have taken it to heart and I love them for it. There are other possible solutions to the problem give above. Try them. Don't give up.
After a year or so of LC and testing and trying new foods I have found that I can now balance my food and BG quite well and have also found that some foods that originally gave problems no longer do so when taken in moderation.(Apple crumble is one of them.)

 

[Maggie/Magpie]

It is hard, I appreciate that, but it has to be direct whilst telling her how you absolutely love her cooking and are devastated that you can't eat it. Be full of praise.

Until you have done this it may be best to suggest either you all go out to eat, or you simply stay away in order to avoid temptation. Either that or you eat it, suffer the binge cravings, and take the consequences with your blood sugars.

I see no other choices.

 

[Maggie/Magpie]

It is hard, I appreciate that, but it has to be direct whilst telling her how you absolutely love her cooking and are devastated that you can't eat it. Be full of praise.

Until you have done this it may be best to suggest either you all go out to eat, or you simply stay away in order to avoid temptation. Either that or you eat it, suffer the binge cravings, and take the consequences with your blood sugars.

I see no other chioices.

I can't just eat it, I've been four weeks binge free, I know the only way for me to keep that up is to avoid those foods altogether. I know it's not the same but for me its a bit like being an alcoholic, once I taste them again I loose all control and it can be weeks before I get it back again, so I don't want to risk that.
Also my blood sugars are reasonable at the moment I don't want to jeopodise that either.
I have a goal, which is unlike me, because I've decided to listen to you all and not my D nurse (who tells me once a diabetic always a diabetic), I want to try and reverse this.
Therefore I have to try and sort this problem some how.
I think I've decided, I'm going to sit them all down and re-educate them, until they do understand, I have to treat it like a teaching session and keep plugging away at them..
Thanks for the advise its help me be more determined to do something more drastic about my situation.
Maggie