Eating rubbish & abusing diabetes

[Sasha1!]

Hi, been a type 1 for 27 years
Always tried to look after myself with relatively good numbers
Lately I have gotten into a stupid habit
I work at a supermarket - in the morning I am eating stuff I shouldn’t (tends to some sort of chocolate) I give plenty of insulin (still go high) then kicking myself & feeling rubbish after (because of the high)
I don’t know if this is some sort of stress response (lot of stress recently)
I keep telling myself I won’t do it the next day & fail

This am started fines blood sugars were 5, within 20 mins of starting work I have eaten chocolate - now numbers are 16 despite lots of insulin.

How do I stop?

I am not after sympathy just need to somehow sort myself out

 

[Nicola M]

Firstly, I am sorry that obviously you are struggling with your diabetes.

I went through a period of time when I was around 22-24 where even though like you I was on the pump but my blood sugars were never much below 14 and always went up to 22+ every single day. Mostly down to my own fault of eating what I shouldn’t, not giving enough insulin. It resulted in my HbA1c if I remember rightly of 78.

I would firstly suggest getting into contact with your diabetes team if you can so they can help you out and possibly put a plan into place to get you back on track, if you aren’t already I’d recommend asking your team if you can also use CGM’s.

I would also suggest going back to basics (checking that your basal rates are correct and then moving on to checking that your carb ratios are correct).

It’s easier said than done to stop eating and if it’s your comfort it’s not going to be easy to stop, have you tried swapping the chocolate for something with a little less carbs or even no carbs that will satisfy the “craving” but not affect your blood sugar as much.

Can you also talk to your supervisor about perhaps moving to something a little less stressful for the time being until you’re in a better routine with your sugars, stress can contribute to poorer blood sugars but then poorer blood sugars can result in more stressful so it’s a vicious circle.

Good luck to you! It’s not easy and I do sympathise with how you’re feeling.

 

[Sasha1!]

Firstly, I am sorry that obviously you are struggling with your diabetes.

I went through a period of time when I was around 22-24 where even though like you I was on the pump but my blood sugars were never much below 14 and always went up to 22+ every single day. Mostly down to my own fault of eating what I shouldn’t, not giving enough insulin. It resulted in my HbA1c if I remember rightly of 78.

I would firstly suggest getting into contact with your diabetes team if you can so they can help you out and possibly put a plan into place to get you back on track, if you aren’t already I’d recommend asking your team if you can also use CGM’s.

I would also suggest going back to basics (checking that your basal rates are correct and then moving on to checking that your carb ratios are correct).

It’s easier said than done to stop eating and if it’s your comfort it’s not going to be easy to stop, have you tried swapping the chocolate for something with a little less carbs or even no carbs that will satisfy the “craving” but not affect your blood sugar as much.

Can you also talk to your supervisor about perhaps moving to something a little less stressful for the time being until you’re in a better routine with your sugars, stress can contribute to poorer blood sugars but then poorer blood sugars can result in more stressful so it’s a vicious circle.

Good luck to you! It’s not easy and I do sympathise with how you’re feeling.

Thank you Nicola
I am on a pump with the guardian 4, have a lot of stress at home
Partner diagnosed with Early onset Parkinson’s- not dealing with that & seeing effects
Struggling to get hours at work & financially struggling
It’s like sometimes I’ll be like I’ll just have a bit to see how much I can get away with
Always kept myself fit & healthy, now it’s like I’ve fallen right off the wagon
I’m worried if I tell my nurse (very abrupt) she will take me off the pump

I hate myself for treating/abusing my diabetes like this, it’s so stupid

Then I’m unhappy as I’m not as lean as I was or I’ll take the dogs for a really long walk/run but yet abused my body first thing
I work at Lidl so realistically they will just tell me to get on with it
It’s like my willpower has gone

Things just feel like a mess!! Sorry for the rant

 

[Nicola M]

Thank you Nicola
I am on a pump with the guardian 4, have a lot of stress at home
Partner diagnosed with Early onset Parkinson’s- not dealing with that & seeing effects
Struggling to get hours at work & financially struggling
It’s like sometimes I’ll be like I’ll just have a bit to see how much I can get away with
Always kept myself fit & healthy, now it’s like I’ve fallen right off the wagon
I’m worried if I tell my nurse (very abrupt) she will take me off the pump

I hate myself for treating/abusing my diabetes like this, it’s so stupid

Then I’m unhappy as I’m not as lean as I was or I’ll take the dogs for a really long walk/run but yet abused my body first thing
I work at Lidl so realistically they will just tell me to get on with it
It’s like my willpower has gone

Things just feel like a mess!! Sorry for the rant

Are you currently using smartguard? The recommended settings are for your AIT to be 2 hours and to have you target blood sugar set at the lowest value. Obviously that doesn’t work for everyone and it’s trial and error whether it will work (it doesn’t for me but I did try it) you just have to make sure to trial it for at least a week so the pump can get used to the changes. If you do have these settings I’d look into trialling different carb ratios.

I can see you’re from the UK and I doubt it works differently around the county but usually they can’t just take you off the pump, they only review it every 4 years and it goes to an independent pane who weigh up whether it’s beneficial for you to still stay on it. Even during my bad periods when I was always high they never took me off it. At the end of the day regardless of how they feel about how you’re treating your diabetes they are there to assist you when you fall off the wagon.

You obviously have a lot more going on and diabetes isn’t at the forefront of your mind, have you spoken to your GP about how you’re feeling to see if they can help, possibly refer you to someone to speak to?

 

[Grant_Vicat]

I

Hi, been a type 1 for 27 years
Always tried to look after myself with relatively good numbers
Lately I have gotten into a stupid habit
I work at a supermarket - in the morning I am eating stuff I shouldn’t (tends to some sort of chocolate) I give plenty of insulin (still go high) then kicking myself & feeling rubbish after (because of the high)
I don’t know if this is some sort of stress response (lot of stress recently)
I keep telling myself I won’t do it the next day & fail

This am started fines blood sugars were 5, within 20 mins of starting work I have eaten chocolate - now numbers are 16 despite lots of insulin.

How do I stop?

I am not after sympathy just need to somehow sort myself out

I think you have made a very positive move by posting on here! You are no longer dealing with this alone even if you don't necessarily agree with all responses. Try drinking water when other urges tempt you. I hope you succeed.

 

[zand]

How about treating yourself to some 70% dark chocolate? I used to comfort eat during stressful times too, but found I only really wanted a couple of squares of dark chocolate as it's so tasty. I have gradually worked up to 99% dark chocolate now, but this took years.
Dark chocolate in moderation is nutritious too, so you are nurturing mind and body instead of punishing yourself, therefore no guilt or sense of failure either.
It's also lower in carbs than milk chocolate.
I hope this helps.

 

[Sasha1!]

Honestly I just don’t know what has happened to me, I’ve always been health conscious but now it almost feels like I’ve said stuff it, this am I have 8 units (to eat utter rubbish) felt like c**p after, then feel ashamed/horrified that I’ve done it
I have just rung me local helpline-got sent a link for talking therapy- booked in for 33rd December
But my gosh I want/need it sorting before that
In tears as I write this - I feel I’ve lost control & risking my diabetes for stupidity
I keep telling myself no more but honestly it’s just so easy for me to get it!! I take a healthy breakfast to work too
I start very early -5 am
Up at 4am, walk the dogs, quick cup of tea then off to worm
Normally by 6 am I’ve eaten something bad when a perfectly healthy breakfast is upstairs when I choose to have it

I wish I could explain myself

 

[Sasha1!]

Also apart from work time - I maintain good time in range- it is ridiculous
Like this am- was 5.6
Gave the insulin for the rubbish, watched my numbers climb

What am I doing to myself

 

[lovinglife]

Don’t be so hard on yourself, you have a lot going on, take a breath and be kind to yourself. - I can’t really help much as I’m T2 but I do have an eating disorder that sometimes for months is fine and sometimes it takes minute to minute management to keep it at bay so I can understand the feeling of being out of control and hating yourself for it, it can be all consuming

There is a thing called diabetic burnout, not sure if that’s what your experiencing but have a read through this thread I’ve linked, it may have something useful for you

Diabetes Burnout.

Neaarly all of us get fed up and frustrated with trying to manage out diabetes day after day, year after year. Here are some simple tips to avoid Diabetes Burnout. http://www.joslin.org/info/avoid_diabetes_burnout.html https://www.diabetes.co.uk/emotions/diabetes-burnout.html

www.diabetes.co.uk

 

[Hopeful34]

Sorry that you're struggling @Sasha1! I just wondered if you were pre-bolusing for the chocolate? It may be worth increasing the time between giving your insulin and eating the chocolate, so your levels don't climb so high.