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'Fat' comment, feeling low, no one understands it

S

ShelleyHarris1981

Well-Known Member
Messages
143
Location
Wolverhampton
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
Dislikes
Racism,ignorance,nastiness,selfishness
hi all,

I am not sure where I should have posted this but just needed a rant really.

I am Type 1.

yesterday it was our childrens christening.

my father in law made a comment to me that has left me crying pretty much all day. Although i held it together yesterday.

I had been mingling with guests and realised I hadn't eaten and in passing I said to the table where my father-in-law was sitting that i was hungry and was going to go an grab something to eat to which he replied "yes, no wonder you are looking fat".

my little boy is 1 and I am well aware since having him and being diagnosed type 1 the weight is coming off very slowly, but my diabetic nurse was more than happy at last check (my hba1c is 5.4).

I dont feel very confident all the time anymore and hate the things people cant see like the odd little bruise on tummy from injecting etc etc.

I feel pathetic today because I cant stop crying. Its really upset me and to make matters worse no one seems to appreciate why.

my own Mom even said well it wasn't a lie, you have put on weight, dont take it to heart.

sometimes i just wish people appreciated and understood what its like.

sorry for the random rant, I thought getting it off my chest might help me.

Shelley x
 
Hi Shelley. You must have felt awful. Unfortunately, there are some very ignorant people about who engage mouth before brain. If someone else else calls you fat, tell them you "have" fat but that doesn't mean you "are" fat. You also have hair but you're not "hair" if this makes sense

Sent from the Diabetes Forum App
 
perhaps ask your husband to explain to his dad that your diagnosis means that your weight loss might not be as rapid as people might expect and that remarks like that are neither helpful nor appropriate.
 
Shelley... ((((((hugs)))))

I'm amazed at how ignorant, thoughtless and cruel people can be sometimes, and their timing for these comments is beyond belief.

You are in no way pathetic, it was an uncalled for hurtful comment. Anyone would have been upset by that. From what you have said you are doing grand, it's an uphill struggle to lose weight post pregnancy for most women, complicated by diabetes, seemingly more so. I have heard of mums still struggling to lose post partum weight at their child's graduation, so give yourself a huge pat on the back

Your bloods are great too, and a quick read through this forum shows how difficult to achieve that can be for some of us.

Your mum is your mum, they don't think sometimes, and I'm sure she would be appalled at how upset this has made you.

Put that comment down to ignorance (at best). Ignore it for what it is. You are doing great

Signy
 
Hi Mo has said it all and all I can do is send a ((((((((((((( BIG HUG)))))))))))))Try and rise above it

Take good care with best wishes.
 
thank you all for your replies.

I will definitely get my husband to explain to his dad why the comment was so hurtful.

Thank you for the hugs and kindness.

I am going to try and dry the tears now, I am even giving myself a headache now!

thanks again.

Shelley x
 


Big hugs. It's hard enough being a mum without any additional hassles like diabetes. xx
 
Most people don't realise that Type 1s often put on weight after diagnosis. Weight loss is one of the symptoms of diabetes, and (to an extent) weight gain is a sign that it's being controlled. Perhaps it'd be a good idea to have someone explain this to your father in law, as it's just something most people simply aren't aware of. Either way, the man needs to learn some common courtesy.

PS: No need to apologise for ranting, we all have to do it sometimes!
 
I've been chuntering to myself about this .. ( I'm in an Official Bad Mood , as I've been hanging around for a delivery promised between 7am and 7pm, which will probably arrive at 7.15 pm )...anyway....

What gives people the right to negatively comment on other people who are out of the range of "normal size" when they are eating, need to eat, or are anywhere near food or the subject of food ? What business is it of theirs, and what on earth do they think they are going to achieve by it ?

"Oh thanks.. I hadn't realised I'm fat... thank you so much for pointing that out and preventing me from eating a meal that obviously I don't need, I'll just go and starve myself as that seems to be the answer to my problem . And of course I don't mind you saying so, I have no feelings to hurt whatsoever, being other than human and a pariah ."

It seems to me that fatism is one of the more persistent "isms ", and man, I so hate those

Signy
(skinny, but genetically so. If I wasn't, and wasn't diabetic, I'd give Pavrotti a run for his money )
 
I can happily talk about my weight and my insecurities, with my wife........but anyone else I would not expect them to make fun or to be insensitive about it............

its obvious he is not one of the people in your life who are on that personal level, so your perfectly entitled to be upset by his comments.....

if you feel you need to you just use the diabetic card if a similar situation occurs.........
 
Everyone has said everything I'd say, but big hugs to you. There are certain members of my family who think they are entitled to say what they like to other members without caring what effect their words will have on someone. I hate it and I will stick a few virtual pins in my virtual voodoo doll on behalf of everyone who has suffered in this way.

It's such a shame that we can't choose our family!
 
More to love more to see. You can change how you look if you wanted to, they cant change their bad mouth and manners.
 
Next time you see him tell him he's looking a bit old / tired / bald / wrinkly etc. Do it in a really off hand way as if it's no big deal. Or just be brave and tell him that he really upset you and you don't want to hear his opinions on the matter again.
 
ShelleyHarris1981 said:
really.
I am Type 1.
my little boy is 1 and I am well aware since having him and being diagnosed type 1 the weight is coming off very slowly, but my diabetic nurse was more than happy at last check (my hba1c is 5.4).
Click to expand...
Shelley, others have replied brilliantly but can I pick up on your hba1c - I am surprised to hear the nurse is more than happy. As the hba1c is an average figure, 5.4 would lead any Dr to believe there are episode of hypo's lowering the average. You will, of course, know better than anyone through your testing if this is the case or not but it may be worth keeping this in mind.

My doc has always stated 6.5 as being ideal - although last year he has revised this to 6.7!
 

After years of seeing different doctors I have come to the conclusion that the recommended HbA1c depends on what day of the week it is or who you actually see. They change their minds all the time and 1 nurse or doctor will say 1 thing and another will say something else. I just try and keep mine between 5 and 7 and as long as I'm not hypoing every day that suits me.
 
You don't have to be stick thin to be beautiful....as my boyfriend says! Everyone is beautiful in there own way!!

So chin up! xxxx
 

o my gosh I was only on about this with a friend a week or two ago whose sister is type 1 also. She said her sister has never had a result in the 5s and she wanted to know how many hypos I have. Tbh I do average one or two a week (I inject 20 units of insulatard at night and 1-2 units of novarapid since ive tried to reduce carbs with each meal) but she still thought my hba1c result needed looking at more. I thought I was doing well as my diabetic nurse said it was an 'excellent result', but you are not the first now to mention this to me. Am I going wrong anywhere? I tend to hypo more if my little one has a bad night or the School run turns stressful and Im running about more. Ive also noticed as a woman certain times of the month can run me lower even if my food habits dont change.
 
NicolaAnne1994 said:
You don't have to be stick thin to be beautiful....as my boyfriend says! Everyone is beautiful in there own way!!

So chin up! xxxx
Click to expand...

haha my husband text me earlier and said there is nothing wrong with a curve here and there. I suppose now I just see thunder thighs and a big wobbly ass xxx
 
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