Fed up.

[Sophia95]

Hi guys, this is my first time here. I'm a type one diabetic and have been since I was 10 (12 years ago). I think I am suffering through a diabetes burnout. I just don't feel like I can get a stable grip on my life. I'm studying children's nursing at uni and am in my final year so am juggling exams, dissertation, essays as well as my placement which is 12.5 hour shifts. I recently broke up from a 4.5 year relationship. I am also on the omni pod pump and have been for over 18 months. However I HATE it. I have told my diabetes team but they keep saying 'give it a little while longer'. They always leak on me and I have had so, so, so many serious Highs because of it. I want to go back to my old Medtronic or failing that injections. However injections won't fit as easily in my day-to-day ward life as I can't eat when I need to.
I just find myself breaking all the rules (after my pods have messed me up so much). I buy huge bars of chocolate and sweets daily. I have got coeliac disease and I keep eating gluten. I do give myself insulin, however I do not carb count appropriately and guesstimate my insulin. I have no idea what I'm doing anymore.

I thought this would happen when I was younger, not 22. My average BG for 4 weeks is so high at 13.6.

I would just like to point out although I do mistreat myself. I do not put any of my patients care at risk, ever. But I am worried I will accidentally mess up where I'm always so high.

I just feel like there is no point trying right now. My friends and family do not understand, my boyfriend understood very well

I also have a massive spot problem on my face that I have never suffered with before. I don't know if anybody has any advice for that either.

Sorry for the rant. I'd be very grateful for any support or advice.

Thank you so much.

Sophia x

P.s. Attached is a photo of what the pods do to me all the time. This is a very regular occurance!!! 5-6 times per month!!! In my whole 5 years of Medtronic I only ever had 2-3 problems so I don't think it's me!

 

[Sophia95]

 

[Juicyj]

Hey @Sophia95 Big hug x

No wonder your feeling burnt out, crumbs you've got alot going on right now, exams, relationship and issues with the pump.. it's alot to deal with so take a big deep breath. Sorry to hear about your relationship too, that's tough.

I'd get right back in touch with your team and get the pump sorted first of all, that's not good enough, tell them everything that's going on and how you're feeling, they need to prioritise sorting this out for you. Not having confidence in your pump will be affecting your thinking in terms of how well controlled you feel, which in turn could be connected to your pattern of eating.
The fact you are eating sugar shows how stressed you've become, it's a self defeating cycle of behaviour eating the very food which will raise your BG levels, can you write down what's going on in your head when you make the decision to eat this type of food, try and stop for one minute before you do it and think about why you feel compelled to do it, knowing that both gluten and sugar are both going to send you high and make you feel ill, if you write it down then it will give your rational brain more time to analyse why your doing this as well as giving you clarification on why your doing it. Try and visualise your best friend stood in front of you doing the same and think about what you would say to them.

In regards to your huge spot, i'm sure it's not that big, I get them and when I do I just dab some witch hazel on them, they generally disappear within a couple of days, or cover it up if you wear make up and if it's making you feel self concious.

Try and take some time out for yourself, do some exercise as it will get the feel good hormones released and will calm your mind down, most importantly be kind to yourself.

Am around for a chat if you want a PM conversation, Jx

 

[Freema]

I know nothing just want to send you a virtual hug, it is a tuff ride to be type 1 diabetic... .... try just to do a little bit better on a daily basis... and don´t hate yourself it is a tuff ride...

maybe if your blood glucose gets lower your body will not be as stressed out , and then your face problems will probably lessen... you could also add a multi-vitamin B pill daily and remember folic acid in it too..

I used to suffer a lot from face problems... personally I think that my face problems was a good picture of how bad condition my intestines were in too..

 

[himtoo]

Hi @Sophia95
welcome to the forum !!

I am on omnipod too -- for just over 2 years so far .

I have had that exact picture of a pod of mine -- but they are pretty rare for me -- about once every 3-4 months.
not really sure why it happens -- possibly I have bumped it -- or possibly the cannula didn't insert properly.
it is really really frustrating though not only having to start a new pod but also having your bloods in the teens for a fair few hours.
Have you spoken with the omnipod support people at all for any suggestions .

clearly this is not what being on a pump is meant to be -- I would suggest a polite but firm tone with your DSN and ask for alternatives because you are at the end of your tether, and that your daily quality of life is suffering.

keep posting and a big hug from me [[[hug]]]
x