Feeling a little annoyed with my partner

Pinkorchid said:

I would probably have let him get them and eaten the fish minus the batter and chips and the filling in the kebab and left the pitta he may not have been so keen the next time to buy you stuff when half of it is wasted.A lot probably will not agree with me but diabetes is our problem not our partners it should not affect them and they will not understand it or why we don't eat certain things unless they have it their self so no point in getting annoyed with them. As it happens both me and my partner have T2 he was diagnosed with T2 first after having taken steroids for about 3 years me who knows why I am not typical for it and was diagnosed last year at the age of 76 after my annual blood test. We both eat different things he can eat things that I can't anymore but that does not bother me but it does means most days I cook different things for us at meal times.

Click to expand...

I wouldn't disagree with you.. My Diabetes is mine. Though, I wouldn't call it a problem.
My wife sees the logic in my diet & has furthered understanding by downloading "ebooks" regarding the LC aproach for Ds & non Ds alike?
Years ago she had aquired a couple of old school hardback diabetic cook books.. Shockingly bad advice on some of the pages..

At home. We eat the same. If dining out? She has whatever she wants.. Lol, someone else is cooking!

My husband is an overweight smoker who has already had one heart attack and lives mainly of carbs! He doesn't bother much about his own health so never expect him to think about my diet. Generally cook different things or adapt for us both. With Indian for example I have meat dish and half rice he has other half and a nan etc. Never argue about it as I know it wouldn't get me anywhere.

Snootybutnice said:

I just wondered if some of you have been through this. I'm newly diagnosed with Type 2 and I've been trying to tackle my bad diet and have lost 13lbs these past 2 weeks.

On Friday he started talking about 'I'll fetch us a kebab' or how about 'fish and chips'...

I felt like slapping him because I'm trying so hard to get my head around everything and just felt he was trying to sabotage my diet when he knows what's at stake (as I was clear why my T2 diagnosis worried me). He said afterwards that he knew I'd say 'no' to the foods, as I was obviously on a mission but to even attempt to push me off the path has rattled me.

Do any of you have partners who aren't helping?

Click to expand...

Not very helpful considering you're trying to get to grips with everything.

Just a thought, with you losing weight and taking control it might be putting his nose out of joint.

dawnmc said:

Just a thought, with you losing weight and taking control it might be putting his nose out of joint.

Click to expand...

Also, many people don't like change, especially 'cutting out certain foods'

Is he afraid you will lose weight and become more attractive to other men?

Best wishes with your eating plan.

Snootybutnice said:

On Friday he started talking about 'I'll fetch us a kebab' or how about 'fish and chips'...

Click to expand...

People forget, strangely I get a little p1$$ed off with people asking me if I'm allowed to eat so and so. Nice of them to consider my eating habits really, but most people just don't think.

Snootybutnice said:

You could have something there ellagy :-D - but i'm a one man gal and I don't intend to look elsewhere ever - but I am beginning to think insecurity might play a part.

Click to expand...

Please don't let his insecurity stop you doing your thing!

As @Indy51 says you're the only one who can judge how to play this to get your point across to your husband. But you do need to take charge. I've never met anyone outside this forum, non-diabetic, T1 or T2 who "gets" what I'm doing with LCHF, but luckily I've had only a few comments about rabbit food and I find I've actually moved away from people who socialise around the "bad" (ie normal) stuff like cream teas and chip suppers.
As for dear Mrs DeeJay, she chomps away valiantly at whatever I serve up. Except her spuds are on one side of the steamer and my celeriac is on the other, and mash toppings are split down the middle. You learn to tell the difference even under a layer of melted cheese.
She has her own shelf in the food cupboard and it's a good reminder to me of all the stuff I used to eat.

I am lucky, my wife is very supportive. She made cauliflower rice the other day and it was yummy. She also throws any left over carbs out straight into the bin now. Amazing how I could 'graze' on left over roast potatoes. Not any more. And on the positive side, she doesn't mind me having butter and cream quite so much now.

Yup, I get it too!
No matter how much I explain that ALL carbs are my enemy!
I have chronic fatigue and hubby is good enough to do all the cooking, but isn't very flexible and I can't really complain.
Just means I get the same meals, but can eat eff all!
Always did have a problem with portion control 'just leave what you don't want' so wound up the size of a bus!
Now I take an extra plate in and scoop off what I can't eat before I start.
Takeaways remain a problem, as its sooo tasty, and I'm sooo hungry, and I feel evil for denying the poor sod a night off from the stove

I think on a longer term basis if you stick to your lower carbs he will see the benefits and change himself.
May take a while though. My hubby never knew portion control or lower carbs.. We just ate different sized portions (me off a tea plate) and him a big (normal) plate. Then, finally he changed.. The thing that made him change is that I had it suggested to me that I needed to have bread and cereal, porridge etc... I put on two stone in the 6 months I did this.
I stopped as it was causing me troubles...
My weight dropped off again. I had always been a size 8-10 but he saw me balloon and then shrink again.
He started to change. He lost 4st and has kept it off for 4 years now.

He sees the efforts I have to make to eat as my health nose dived due to other factors. He appreciates rhat I struggle to eat 100g peeled cucumber, 50g avocado and max 1/2 tin of cucumber on a tea plate. He now eats his meals with me on a tea plate too.
We do shopping lists together, he does 99% of the shopping as I hate seeing food that I can no longer eat...

My current eating is different to your scenario but I really do think that he may well come round and change himself eventually when he sees the benefits you are getting..

When I could eat fat I enjoyed a cream eclair as a treat and at 19 carbs for a treat it was nothing as a weekly treat. Far nicer than a takeaway for me.

Keep your own individuality and keep the benefits in your mind...it took my hubby about 15 years to change-lol!! I never lectured him, he never levtured me. He has always supported me to do whats right for me...

NikiMilligan said:

Yup, I get it too!
No matter how much I explain that ALL carbs are my enemy!
I have chronic fatigue and hubby is good enough to do all the cooking, but isn't very flexible and I can't really complain.
Just means I get the same meals, but can eat eff all!
Always did have a problem with portion control 'just leave what you don't want' so wound up the size of a bus!
Now I take an extra plate in and scoop off what I can't eat before I start.
Takeaways remain a problem, as its sooo tasty, and I'm sooo hungry, and I feel evil for denying the poor sod a night off from the stove

Click to expand...

Does you partner enjoy his food? Does he live too eat, or view food as a fuel, and provided it fuels him, he's not bothered too much about it?

I appreciate you have a fatigue condition, but what would you do if he was not around for a few days? Would you be able to prepare a meal for yourself each evening (or whenever you have your main meal)?

AndBreathe said:

Does you partner enjoy his food? Does he live too eat, or view food as a fuel, and provided it fuels him, he's not bothered too much about it?

I appreciate you have a fatigue condition, but what would you do if he was not around for a few days? Would you be able to prepare a meal for yourself each evening (or whenever you have your main meal)?

Click to expand...

Why, are you planning to kidnap him lol

And yes, I could cook for myself, but at the cost of being able to do some other things, e.g. washing. So I've the choice of being hungry or smelly

He's a real foodie, but also OCD so can be a bit inflexible...

We've just got a real stinker of a situation, but slowly weaning him away from croissants for breakfast, sandwich for lunch and loads of root veg/pasta/rice for dinner 80

And there was me telling him off for years for being meat obsessed - the boots on the other foot now !

I've bought a load of low carb books - time for me to start doing one a week at least!

NikiMilligan said:

Why, are you planning to kidnap him lol

And yes, I could cook for myself, but at the cost of being able to do some other things, e.g. washing. So I've the choice of being hungry or smelly

He's a real foodie, but also OCD so can be a bit inflexible...

We've just got a real stinker of a situation, but slowly weaning him away from croissants for breakfast, sandwich for lunch and loads of root veg/pasta/rice for dinner 80

And there was me telling him off for years for being meat obsessed - the boots on the other foot now !

I've bought a load of low carb books - time for me to start doing one a week at least!

Click to expand...

MrMilligan is safe. MrB is a very enthusiastic and adventurous cook.

Yes, you got to where I was going. Bearing in mind how delicious a reduced carb diet can be, it could be great for you to cook once a week/fortnight or whatever maybe chosen from your new books or a recipe from the forum?

To be honest, coming into the cooler weather as we are now, I use the slow cooker regularly. I find myself prepping whatever as soon as I've had my brekkers (or before if I feel so inclined), the I can give it a decent ignoring all day. That might be something you can consider, in that once it's in you can rest up before it'll be anywhere close to needing eaten.

The other week I did the most amazing pulled pork in the slow cooker, and being a cheaper cut of meat it benefits from the low, slow cooking and there was loads of leftovers that could go into a salad at lunchtime, be the meat element of another evening meal.

It doesn't have to be an enormous investment in your time/energy to get something scrummy on the go, and it could give your OH a night off too.

Sometimes I think it's easier for us than for our partners when changes have to be made, and they don't necessarily see any benefits for themselves. That's human nature.

I got to add in that cf should not disbar you from helping to make dinners etc.

The whole nhs is now into mindfullness approaches to pain, fibro etc and they have got a place in even making an effort to cook or wash up etc.. Stamford hospital near me are doing fantastic courses on getting patients to think more about self help for all things related to pain and fatigue etc.

It is a case of putting "health first"... If thats proper food, proper, good meals then that can help towards fatigue etc. So what about washing, smell etc... Between the two I know what I would choose..

Snootybutnice said:

Hi Donnellysdogs - can you not eat fat now hon? xx

Click to expand...

Unfortunately it has to be limited... No nice cream cake treat anymore!! I can cope with a single cream coffee each day and 100g full fat yogurt. Anything over that is disgusting!! Looks like maggots or foaming off white stuff in a just water poo with whole bits stomach can't process.

It was funny yest. Hubby took a faeces sample from me to GP to be tested. My bottom was pretty much stuck to toilet all day. Anyway collecting it was fun... Made sure I included a whole piece of broccoli in the water slush. The receptionist apparently really pulled a yucky face when hubby gave it to her!

I can imagine the face as it was a horrendous day yesterday and I suspect they won't have too many samples containing whole piece of broccoli...

Will get results for all the other tests in next few weeks, got more tests coming up. Endless. Thought the oclscopues up n down were bad enough and the shapes test, but these tests I know are going to be just as bad for me.

New Consultant told me a lot more info today that I wasn't aware of so although they may find a name for probs a solution isn't going to be easy to find...

Still, to me now.. I'm just wondering:
I know food is going to make me ill.., so should I just enjoy it and accept being ill?
Or, try to minimise being ill (but still being really bad sometimes) and getting nowhere...

Although I never feel hungry or think about eating unless its in front of me, I do miss eating nice food....