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Feeling a little annoyed with my partner

Discussion in 'Diabetes Discussions' started by Snootybutnice, Sep 25, 2016.

  1. Snootybutnice

    Snootybutnice Prediabetes · Well-Known Member

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    I just wondered if some of you have been through this. I'm newly diagnosed with Type 2 and I've been trying to tackle my bad diet and have lost 13lbs these past 2 weeks.

    On Friday he started talking about 'I'll fetch us a kebab' or how about 'fish and chips'...

    I felt like slapping him because I'm trying so hard to get my head around everything and just felt he was trying to sabotage my diet when he knows what's at stake (as I was clear why my T2 diagnosis worried me). He said afterwards that he knew I'd say 'no' to the foods, as I was obviously on a mission but to even attempt to push me off the path has rattled me.

    Do any of you have partners who aren't helping?
     
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  2. Jaylee

    Jaylee Type 1 · Moderator
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    Nope, I can't fault my wife..

    However. You could have "fetched" your bloke a "kebab", ate the protein.
    Then left him with just the the pitta.. What the hell!? He can have a bit of the salad too! ;)
     
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  3. Robbity

    Robbity Type 2 · Expert

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    Yes...

    Robbity
     
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  4. Snootybutnice

    Snootybutnice Prediabetes · Well-Known Member

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    Thanks Jaylee - and you made me laugh. I guess I'm just out of sorts and a little sense of humour from my side wouldn't go amiss :-D LOL
     
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  5. Snootybutnice

    Snootybutnice Prediabetes · Well-Known Member

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    Sorry to hear that Robbity. Mind you, you've done really well to lose 19kg - and pull your 'scores' down from 61 to 42. :-D you must feel pleased with yourself.
     
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  6. Kristin251

    Kristin251 LADA · Expert

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    none of my family got it so I put my foot down and said I'll make your protein you make your junk. Too hard to do MY thing and THEIR thing. Get your own junk lol. It was hard but it works now. I always was the care taker now I need to take care of of me. I still cook the protein and veggies but they can cook their own carbs. One wants potato, one rice,money sweet potato. I'm jot a restaurant! And with diabetes!!!
     
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  7. Jaylee

    Jaylee Type 1 · Moderator
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    Just stick to your guns..

    I've had gay jokes for choosing Diet Coke over beer.. Heresy accusations for passing up on doughnuts. & recently been told (he didn't know I was diabetic.) I look like I need "a cake" when passing them out..

    Sometimes it's just harmless "banter".. How one deals with it will gain respect.! ;)
     
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  8. chalup

    chalup Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    My hubby, who is flirting with pre-diabetes, is a garbage can. He refuses to even try to understand me. He is the king of just a little bit cant hurt, have a taste.

    I do my own thing and he eats what he wants.
     
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    #8 chalup, Sep 25, 2016 at 1:44 AM
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2016
  9. pleinster

    pleinster Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Sounds more like he hasn't grasped a] just how important it is to you and/or b] what is and isn't sensible grub. He may even think that you deserve what he sees as a wee treat... What I am saying is his intentions may still be in the right place, or he just needs you to stress the importance of your diet to you. Personally, since I got my levels down to a range I am happy with, I allow myself a curry with nan bread once in a while...but make sure it doesn't make my general approach more casual. I don't now if your partner generally eats what you do...but maybe he is just desperate for some of the grub he knows and loves, and he just wants your okay on it. If not..if he is just ignoring your needs or winding you up...eat the fish and put..emm..."special vinegar" on his chips!
     
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  10. Indy51

    Indy51 Type 2 · Expert

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    Hard to comment really - unless you're in the relationship yourself, it's hard to distinguish passive/aggressive games from genuine bafflement. You're probably the best judge of what is really going on.
     
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  11. Jbicheno

    Jbicheno Type 2 · Active Member

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    My husband, whilst understanding my need to follow the LCHF diet, has not changed his diet one jot. He still eats all the things I don't want to including Friday night fish and chips. I am around 6 months post diagnosis and have lost over 4 stone in weight and my BS is under control from diet and exercise. I let him eat his bread, rice, pasta potatoes etc and I stick with my healthier options. It was tough at first but now I always think my meals are more appetising than his (and tastier too). Stick to your guns it does get easier.
     
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  12. Pinkorchid

    Pinkorchid Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    I would probably have let him get them and eaten the fish minus the batter and chips and the filling in the kebab and left the pitta he may not have been so keen the next time to buy you stuff when half of it is wasted.A lot probably will not agree with me but diabetes is our problem not our partners it should not affect them and they will not understand it or why we don't eat certain things unless they have it their self so no point in getting annoyed with them. As it happens both me and my partner have T2 he was diagnosed with T2 first after having taken steroids for about 3 years me who knows why I am not typical for it and was diagnosed last year at the age of 76 after my annual blood test. We both eat different things he can eat things that I can't anymore but that does not bother me but it does means most days I cook different things for us at meal times.
     
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  13. JohnEGreen

    JohnEGreen Other · Master

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    No wife and family that is my daughter and grandson who live with us are on board. In fact they have to a degree been following the same diet as me so we are all low carb now and they are feeling the benefit as well wife has gone from size 14 to 12 and is on the way towards size 10 and feels fitter and healthier and is happy about that.

    Though must add grandson is in to body building so is on his own weird diet at the moment.:)
     
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    #13 JohnEGreen, Sep 25, 2016 at 11:03 AM
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2016
  14. magsiesss

    magsiesss Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Yes.

    To make it worse, my other half has been Type 2 for years. He thinks adding a little bit of sugar to my tea on a Sunday is a little treat for me ... actually, no its not!

    We never argue as such, but its been close a few times since I have been diagnosed in April - but I am training him slowly to do things "my way" ....
     
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  15. Snootybutnice

    Snootybutnice Prediabetes · Well-Known Member

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    Thanks pleinster - think after the event that I'm being too sensitive and grumpy LOL. Probably because not feeling so great. I think you're right. :-D xx
     
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  16. Snootybutnice

    Snootybutnice Prediabetes · Well-Known Member

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    aww...I guess it just takes time for them to adjust - I managed to stop taking sugar in tea years ago but if someone ever puts it in, I love it still. Anyway, I digress. You're a lot more level headed and tolerant than me. Hubby thinks I'm far more unsubtle and direct since I had my SAH and thinks I get wound up far more quickly (which may be true!). Thank you x
     
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  17. magsiesss

    magsiesss Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    When my other half suggests a kebab or fish n chips I will often agree - I will eat the chicken and salad in a kebab (tiny bit of pita bread for me) and I will eat the white of the fish (leaving the batter and most of the chips). Metformin does help suppress the appetite which is helpful when you are first diagnosed.

    I am not at all tolerant, I just try to find different ways of getting my own way ;)

    Good luck to you x
     
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  18. Cat0409_

    Cat0409_ Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Mine regularly sabotages but its not out of malice its mainly sheer forgetfulness. He eats way more carbs than I do and his carbs are mainly corn or potato based.
    He regularly cooks and adds in foodstuffs that he has been repeatedly told I can't or won't eat. He gets very upset and dejected if I don't eat or eat enough of his offerings.
    I usually resort to cooking for myself or both of us if he wants to cook. If he does cook I tend to pick through it very care gully.
     
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  19. Tabbyjoolz

    Tabbyjoolz Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    We're both T2D, husband for 16 years now. He was in burnout mode around the time I was diagnosed, but got back into the swing of things once he realised I was tackling my diagnosis with all guns blazing, I was losing weight and getting my BS down. He's trying a low-carb diet too, but is a little more relaxed than me, and is trying low-carb breads and noodles. Occasionally we come to blows about food choices, but overall it's working well.
     
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  20. Daphne917

    Daphne917 Type 2 (in remission!) · Well-Known Member

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    I'm relatively lucky in that I can still eat some carbs so I tend to cook the same thing for myself and husband only he has most of the potatoes and I have most of the veggies. When he has a packet of crisps I have some peanuts or Skinny popcorn, he has 2 slices of white bread I have 1 slice of seeded bread. He's not a great lover of pasta or rice so I don't tend to bother with those anyway. I like yoghurt and berries he likes strawberries and ice cream. It's all about compromise - we eat mostly the same thing but just slightly different amounts/foods etc.
     
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