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Feeling Lost & Hopeless

T

Tukella

Member
Messages
24
Location
Manchester
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Pump
Posted a few weeks back and still no further on!

I feel so lost and hopeless at the moment with my control or should I say lack of control. I have been on medication since christmas for depression and feel it's slowly working - I don't cry as much and feel like I am getting my feelings and personality back if that makes sense. Although my diabetes is still taking a back seat basically I have the Omnipod attached and the basal rate set and that's it for three days hardly test and bolus at all! I know I'm stupid and doing damage but cant seem to get motivated to restart!

I've also just met this guy and it's going well so wouldn't want to jeopardise anything by becoming unwell! Plus I want children eventually so feel I need to start lowering my sugars and getting control!

Has anyone any advice on how to restart? Best way to record sugars etc xx
 
HI Tukella

So sorry to hear you are feeling so down and unmotivated. Unfortunately I cannot advise you on anything to do with Type 1 diabetes but I do understand depression which I have suffered from periodically for many years. I am glad to hear your depression meds are kicking in, it will take time and often people need to try several different sorts to see which is best for them. One of the signs of depression for me is being totally unmotivated, just can't be bothered with anything and that feeling of not caring about anything is obviously affecting what you eat and your diabetes control.

I see on your profile you go to the gym which is great for depression. I also find walking wiith my dog gives me a sense of wellbeing, being out in the fresh air, getting closer to nature and all that.

Have you thought of seeing a counsellor? And have you talked with your diabetes team? I think if you can get your diabetes controlled that in itself will make you feel better. Physical wellbeing and mental wellbeing are linked so time to look after yourself. Hopefully some Type 1's will come along soon and advise/share their own experiences. I've read many stories like yours on here so you are definitely not alone.

Take care and let us know how you are doing xx
 
Hi and welcome to the forum! You've done the right thing by joining the forum and talking about your depression and your current inability to want to control your diabetes.
There will be many people on here who understand and who have experienced the same thing.
When depressed, the chore of controlling your blood sugar seems such a slog and a drag, and it's true that it can involve a lot of work.
I have been in this situation and, like you, I joined the forum to try and do something about it. For years I had neglected my health, but within a few weeks of joining the forum, other people's advice, kindness and knowledge, kickstarted my will to look after myself better..
I kept pretty quiet about my depression, not really giving it a name, except to myself, but gradually I could see it for what it was, and that I could deal with it.
I was offered medication for depression but I decided not to use it. I did accept my GP's offer to set up counselling sessions for me with a trained counsellor attached to the GP practice and these helped me a great deal. This was talk therapy, CBT.
Perhaps this is something you might consider.
With the forum and the counselling, I realised that controlling my diabetes was a way to look after myself, and to award myself the importance I deserved.
I suggest that you do the same. Treat yourself with the importance and kindness you deserve.
You say that a nice guy and children feature in your life plan and that sounds like a very nice plan. Also, kickstart your blood sugar control, keep a paper record to start with and aim to do enough tests per day to get a profile. You are set up with Omnipod, and that's outside my experience as I use MDI, but other people on the forum will give you relevant advice that I can't give.
I use MySugr app as well as a paper record and I reduce my carbs (Reducing carbs has been brilliant for me, and I learnt about it initially from the thread on this forum). I try to keep my blood sugar between 5 and 7, and even though I often fail to achieve this, the constant presence of the forum gives me strength to carry on regardless of occasional set backs.
You can do this too. Look after yourself and tell us how you get on.
 
Hi lizdeluz

Thanks for your reply. Yes I'm awaiting CBT counselling! I also suffer from insomnia hence why I'm wide awake now! This doesn't help as im not getting out of bed early as so shattered in the mornings.

Hoping to get back on track soon xx
 
Hi Tukella I can relate to your post. I have always suffered a bit with depression but recently it has got worse. I am not sure if it anything to do with the diabetes but I feel like I have no life in me anymore. That is great that you have met a guy. You are lucky. I haven't been able to even meet a guy and if I do I just ruin it. I just feel so ugly, old and boring. I am nearly 26 and still live with my parents. I can't see my life changing. What tablets have you been taking for depression?
 
Abby

Firstly you are Definately not ugly looking at your picture and secondly I only moved out of my parents when I was 31 and have only met this guy 4 weeks ago! When I was 26 I was enjoying my time with my friends love will happen when it's meant too.

I'm taking citalopram 40mg Daily and I'm starting to slowly respond to them! Are you on anything? What's your diabetes control like? Mines rubbish at the min which I feel also contributes to the depression!

Is there anyone you can talk to? Xxx
 
Thanks that is sweet but I feel it. Did you like living with your parents? It's been two years and I am stuck on my ex which is bad. He looks so happy in all his photos. I thought he liked me and wanted a future but he is so happy with a new woman. I have tried to move on but life just seems to be getting worse being diagnosed with diabetes etc
How did you meet your new bf? I don't take any tablets but should. I haven't had the motivation to keep my diabetes under control. Does your bf know about your diabetes? Does he support you?
X
 
Abby's said:
Thanks that is sweet but I feel it. Did you like living with your parents? It's been two years and I am stuck on my ex which is bad. He looks so happy in all his photos. I thought he liked me and wanted a future but he is so happy with a new woman. I have tried to move on but life just seems to be getting worse being diagnosed with diabetes etc
How did you meet your new bf? I don't take any tablets but should. I haven't had the motivation to keep my diabetes under control. Does your bf know about your diabetes? Does he support you?
X
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Hello abby's, did you know that just one of the symptoms of diabetes is nervous depression ? This is treatable and your unhappiness is directly related to this , please do get help from a professional diabetic consultant ,( if you had a broken bone you'd get it set, well, please look after yourself ) it's not your fault your ill ,you need help .
 
Hi Abby
Yes I am quite close to my parents and although dad doesn't fully understand diabetes he's my rock when I'm ill! Are u friends with ur ex on facebook if so I know it's hard ive been there with my ex but delete him completely you don't need to see that he's happy!
Go see your gp mines been great she really understands and although I didn't want to go on tablets I do feel better on them! I also now need to start looking after my diabetes and especially me! I'm going to start Monday need to get rid of some Easter eggs first lol! He does know about my diabetes and is supportive of it I usually find it hard to tell them plus about my pump but I have come to the thinking if they don't like it tough that's me x
 
I can totally relate and feel that way too but it is imperative that you take control of this condition, it will try and beat us if we let it but we have no option but to rise above it and take control the best way we can. Discovering low carb has helped me to feel enabled to be in control again something i felt i had lost. Choose the right lc foods, do the exercise avoid the stress and believe you can do it, for whatever reason you have that keeps you motivated. gl Tukella
 
Thanks Spencer67

I have been reading up on the low carb diet is it just low carb or high fat too your doing?

Any books or articles you can recommend?
 
Tukella said:
Thanks Spencer67

I have been reading up on the low carb diet is it just low carb or high fat too your doing?

Any books or articles you can recommend?
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Hey, to be honest its the influence of this forum, no real articles but snipits from here and there then it just fell into place as i experimented with different lc foods that suited me, stick with the forum read, question and listen to people here from their wisdom and you will find your path that suits you. My only mantra is "low carb good high carb bad" and knowing i have to live it to stay well.

I wouldn't worry about incorporating high fat as a principle it come with it anyway, just go for low carb.

NB: and taking all that stresses me out of my life with extreme prejudice, probably the best thing ive done as a gift to myself.
 
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What do you mean by extreme prejudice?

I'm finding the more I read in this site the more motivation im gaining! I now have to put this into practice and start again fresh x how long have you been diagnosed? Notice your from the north west whereabouts? I'm from Manchester
 
Tukella said:
What do you mean by extreme prejudice?

I'm finding the more I read in this site the more motivation im gaining! I now have to put this into practice and start again fresh x how long have you been diagnosed? Notice your from the north west whereabouts? I'm from Manchester
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When i say 'extreme prejudice' i mean taking no flack from anyone who gives it out. Ive been in a difficult situation that i had to take control of and im in a better place now, although still in recovery. diabetes took a grip of me through stress and other events i let in but i turned it round, and i have to say this forum helped immensely. i have been T1D 19 years im 47 now so it was many moons ago i was diagnosed, This site will help you stay motivated i agree, even if you only read whats going on come back every day there is lots of valuable info. yes im a manc too. Hey!!! :)
 
Small world eh! I've been diagnosed 19 years in June and have had lots of ups and downs but now feel although I'm not completely giving it my full attention I now highlight it more and talk about it freely ! It's hard because I feel it's a burden to others sometimes even though they tell me it's not! They have changed the service at my hosp and it's now at a primary care centre hence I haven't seen my consultant for over two years (and I'm on a pump) they have changed and say I have to see these new ones I just want to see one so I can get continuity hoping to get this sorted! Is your care good? x
 
Tukella said:
Small world eh! I've been diagnosed 19 years in June and have had lots of ups and downs but now feel although I'm not completely giving it my full attention I now highlight it more and talk about it freely ! It's hard because I feel it's a burden to others sometimes even though they tell me it's not! They have changed the service at my hosp and it's now at a primary care centre hence I haven't seen my consultant for over two years (and I'm on a pump) they have changed and say I have to see these new ones I just want to see one so I can get continuity hoping to get this sorted! Is your care good? x
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Is there not a specific trained pump consultant or pump nurse at your primary care centre? Normally there is and you would only see the ones that are trained. We have one pump consultant who is massively overworked and 3 pump nurses.
 
Tukella
Have you got yourself a monitoring book yet and testing a little bit?
 
Tukella said:
Small world eh! I've been diagnosed 19 years in June and have had lots of ups and downs but now feel although I'm not completely giving it my full attention I now highlight it more and talk about it freely ! It's hard because I feel it's a burden to others sometimes even though they tell me it's not! They have changed the service at my hosp and it's now at a primary care centre hence I haven't seen my consultant for over two years (and I'm on a pump) they have changed and say I have to see these new ones I just want to see one so I can get continuity hoping to get this sorted! Is your care good? x
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Yah small world :). You do need to concentrate on your diabetes if your levels are up and down its the best you can do for yourself but i get it, i know how hard it can be. being t1d is a full time job. ive had a bad bg day today, not happy, everything was a big rush and wasnt able to monitor my levels as well as i normally do, i was at the trafford general D clinic for a consultation on changing my regime then into town. im apprehensive about changing my regime as i just got used to this one after nearly two decades. lol. my team care has been 'ok' but ive missed appointments in the past for what ever reason and it has set me back. I need routine but ive never been able to get a groove going. I hope you get yours sorted don't leave it too long. :D
 
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