Feeling very helpless

[Fairygodmother]

Refuses to talk with anyone about this, and hides her diabetes from the world, being eighteen and not perfect, not now days.
We all know when we get older the fake tans, and the I'm so wonderful brigade don't matter a jot but at eighteen anything else but perfection is I think very difficault to except. were get there. Just hold on tight it's going to be bumpy for a while.
Thanks
Jim.

I really wish I could make it all better with a wave of a magic wand!!!!
Just a few thoughts . . .
I was diagnosed at 20 and it became a competition amongst my friends to be the one who was allowed to inject me - old style glass and steel syringes back then. They thought it was 'fab' - old-style slang too.
Do you know any of her friends? Would a quiet chat with the best of them have any effect. It really depends on what kind of people they are, and something to be avoided if they're the kind that'll make it worse by letting her know that her Dad's asked them to look out for her.
It sounds as though her high blood sugars may be making her more angry too. And I know from experience that any suggestions made when sugars are poor used to get a thunderflash response from me. I had to learn the hard way and could only do that when everyone backed off.
Moreover, my eldest beloved daughter, not diabetic, had the same responses In her teenage years when asked to do something.
Does your wife do all the shopping and cooking? Could you, or do you, do a week each? It might be a way to get low carb no sweets started. Without saying anything! Spiralised courgette spaghetti and that kind of thing. A period when the whole family live like a T1? Even if it's just as an interim before Addenbrooks. And then maybe ask your daughter for advice about the best meals to make?
I know it's not a super-solution, that can only come from your daughter, but until then good luck and best wishes!

 

[donnellysdogs]

Addenbrookes are good.....

I really think the basics have to start with foods that are bought....

As much as other children around, there really isnt good reason to have family bags of sweets in house..

If daughter is hypo anytime-have gluco gel, sugar cubes in house and start cutting the ****..

Yes, children can go out and buy it but you parents are willingly buying it....

Gradually reduce if your wife cant immediately stop.

You do need to sit down as a family at a table and discuss. Not on a sofa etc... what plc boardroom meetings are on a sofa or in bed??? None!! What bank manager sits on a sofa to talk about money??

Talk at a table with serious conversations... with one rule.. no-one leaves until discussions are agreed as finished.
Explain your love and say that things need to change. Be the alpha male... the adults. Be positive, dont bring up past (nothing can be changed about the past- wasted words)... talk about future.. college, uni, family, friends etc....

If you are living anywhere nearish to Peterborough I would be willing to try n help as a long termer, older T1 if you needed help. I go to Addenbrookes...

 

[Becca6510]

How do I get through to my eighteen year old daughter and also my wife who continues to buy family packs of sweets only to have my daughters who's type1 eat the lot of them.
As soon as I say please don't go mad when I continue to see her ramming one after the other in her mouth only to get a mouthful of abuse followed by, I will eat more now you've asked. I could lock myself away and cry, yes daft I know but she's been diagnosed over three years now been in resus twice and has a hp1 of 14.4 Please don't reply saying how much damage that will do to her because I'm fully aware of the consequences and seem to constantly have everyone telling me how she'll loose her eyesight or her legs will drop off etc. I don't know what to do and really need some advice. Has anyone had hypnosis. Any suggestions are very welcome.
Sorry for the rant I just don't know which way to turn.
Thank you
Jim, a worried dad.

Hi Jim
I'm really sorry to hear your struggling. I will tel you a little something about myself. I was diagnosed when I was 17. I am now 25. At first it was scary but a novelty and a challenge. This only lasted a short time and then my realisation that injections finger pricks , people treating me different made me hate diabetes and ultimately hated what it was turning me into. I went into I don't care what happens attitude that I wasn't gonna live long anyway. Then as any teenage girl realised - the insulin was making me pile on weight and pre diabetes I was so thin. I could not accept this so I would purposely omit insulin to lose weight and purposely make my sugars high. I did this for years. I'm not gonna list the side effects I now have but maybe try asking her how she feels about her self esteem. Remind her that she is worth it and she is beautiful and that diabetes is NOT what defines us it is just a part of us like others are tall or short. I'm also in the U.K. And there are lots of diabetic young people meet ups. If she wants to get in touch with me I can private message you contact details, also as social media is so massive these days I found great help in following other young type
Ones on Instagram and seeing that the things I was struggling with and getting frustrated at so was other people, I was not alone! I hope this helps somewhat

Rebecca