food control loss

cdpm said:

i finally have lost control of all foods
for a long time i was down to
my last food- vegetables
but now lost control of them too
what will i eat?

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In what way have you lost control?

You can ask for a referral via gp for some psychological support to try and turn this around. Have you had this condition for a long time?

Ive posted about this problem before. This is what I wrote:
Leptin is a hormone (the fullness signal hormone) that is released by fat cells so the more fat on you the more Leptin is made and you tend to feel full as a result.

People who are type 2 tend to be also Leptin resistant besides Insulin resistant. With type 2 more Leptin is made if you put on weight but the receptors in your brain become resistant to the signal. So a vicious circle of hunger and weight gain occurs.

Unlike Insulin (which is another message hormone) however; injecting people with Leptin does not make these receptors finally accept the signal.
If you are lucky you wont have put much weight on but are still probably "Leptin resistant"
I'm not sure what to suggest to control it,
I would guess something to do with ratios of fat, protein and carbs in the food you eat. But I don't know enough about this, hopefully someone reading this can advise.

cdpm said:

ive had an ed since my teens
and it has changed over the years
not eating in my teens enough to
land in hospital briefly
then in my 20's excessive exercise (4 hours daily)
then a baby in my 30's then when weaned at 2
(breastfeeding) binged/purged with ipecac and laxatives
until late 30's until now just binging
until my bad food list got down to no safe foods

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Bless you.
I guess now you know what's wrong it should be much easier to assess and support by medical bods?
Whose helping you, medically?

cdpm said:

and when i have food that i brought in
if i know i am going to lose control over it
i throw it all away
which then leads to feeling totally awful and guilty
but if i eat it all i feel guilty too
and a sense of losing control

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It sounds very damaging to your mental health. Whose going to help you from here on in? Any psychologist been offered hun?

There may be some direct self-help assignments on-line? Obviously it won't be as good as 1-2-1 help, which in Canada may be expensive.
If I get time i'll have a look around the www for you.
Try self help psychological search still i I can too?

Hey cdpm, I can understand a bit of what you are going through as I discovered that I have BEWP - Binge Eating Without Purging....It is a real thing! Doesn't get the press like bulemia or anorexia, but Docs are now realizing that a large group of people suffer from this. It does take a lot of hard inner work to come to grips with something like this, but it can be done and it can be controlled to the point that it is not destructive to your health and well being and psyche....

By inner work, I mean taking a good hard look at your life from earliest memories to today....Make a timeline of times when you were rewarded or punished with food for example. How did you feel when you were rewarded or when you were punished? What comments were made to you, like "you are a bad girl for not eating your parsnips" or "you were a good girl tonight"....Write everything down that comes to mind....It may be that there are darker things in your life that you have not let be exposed to the light of day.

One of mine was starving. As a very young girl we were very, very poor and many, many times went for days being hungry. We often depended on neighbors' good will as my father drank his paychecks away...After the divorce and living in several foster homes, food was used as reward and punishment and I was an independent little miss and was often denied meals. In my adoptive parents' home food was plentiful but I was afraid to enjoy but would eat as much as I could because somewhere in my little head I was telling myself that there may not be another meal!! This went on for years! Once you start seeing some of these things in black and white, sometimes the light bulb will go on and you can see a pattern. Once you recognize what is going on you can do something about it - like have the Hubby do the grocery shopping or put locks on certain cupboards if you need that an extreme intervention untli you get things under control....

Our relationship to food is so very complex and convoluted that it often takes some outside intervention to assist us to see what is going on. If you live in Canada, there are hotlines that you could call that are for people who are in distress. If you go to Church, perhaps there is a person there who could help you get connected to some professional help. At the walk in clinic, if you explain your situation, perhaps they could make a referral to a dietitian. I don't know your financial situation, but there are private dietitians who work with people such as us as well.

I wish you all the best and keep us posted as to how you are doing....sometimes I come on the Forum when I am wanting to much and the devilishness in my head says I need that food or I am a loser so go ahead and pig out, harm yourself - you deserve it! By coming on the Forum it changes my thought pattern as I read others' struggles and successes - great therapy for me! Thank you Forum! Blessings/L

I am the same as @lindijanice . Hungry childhood, abusive home life etc etc. And the binge eating without purging. Counselling helped me a great deal in linking my childhood fears and hunger etc with my eating patterns, so did talking to others who had experienced similar things. Please keep posting, you are not alone in this and people are supportive and nonjudgmental on here.

Hey cdpm, Just wondering how you are doing.....haven't seen an update for a bit now....any new developments? Feeling any more control over things? You are in my thoughts and trust that you are able to give us an update. We really are here for you and want you to succeed with your diabetes....it can't be easy with everything you have to deal with, but, one day at a time is all any of us can do, right? Hang in there - Hugs&blessings/L