1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Get the Diabetes Forum App for your phone - available on iOS and Android.
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Guest, we'd love to know what you think about the forum! Take the Diabetes Forum Survey 2018 »
    Dismiss Notice
  4. Arrived here after watching The Truth About Carbs? Join the Low Carb Program for meal plans & 10 weeks of simple steps into your new lifestyle
    Dismiss Notice
Dismiss Notice
Find support, ask questions and share your experiences. Join the community »

For All You Lexophiles

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Pura Vida, Jan 13, 2018.

  1. Pura Vida

    Pura Vida Type 2 · Well-Known Member

    Likes Received:
    Trophy Points:
    For All You Lexophiles (Lovers of Words)

    1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.

    2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).

    3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

    4. A backward poet writes inverse.

    5. In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism it's your count that votes.

    6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.

    7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

    8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

    9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

    10. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.

    11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

    12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

    13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

    14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

    15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

    16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

    17. Every calendar's days are numbered.

    18. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.

    19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

    20. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

    21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

    22. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

    23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

    24. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

    25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

    26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

    27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

    28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

    29. Acupuncture is a jab well done.

    30. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
    • Like Like x 1
  2. Arab Horse

    Arab Horse Type 2 · Well-Known Member

    Likes Received:
    Trophy Points:
  • Meet the Community

    Find support, connect with others, ask questions and share your experiences with people with diabetes, their carers and family.

    Did you know: 7 out of 10 people improve their understanding of diabetes within 6 months of being a Diabetes Forum member. Get the Diabetes Forum App and stay connected on iOS and Android

    Grab the app!
  • Tweet with us

  • Like us on Facebook