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For All You Lexophiles

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Pura Vida, Jan 13, 2018.

  1. Pura Vida

    Pura Vida Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    For All You Lexophiles (Lovers of Words)
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    1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.

    2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).

    3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

    4. A backward poet writes inverse.

    5. In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism it's your count that votes.

    6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.

    7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

    8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

    9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

    10. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.

    11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

    12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

    13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

    14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

    15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

    16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

    17. Every calendar's days are numbered.

    18. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.

    19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

    20. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

    21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

    22. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

    23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

    24. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

    25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

    26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

    27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

    28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

    29. Acupuncture is a jab well done.

    30. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
     
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  2. Arab Horse

    Arab Horse Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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