Getting older

Pura Vida

Well-Known Member
Messages
744
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Tablets (oral)
Subject: The Best List in Ages

*My tolerance for idiots is extremely low today. I used to have some immunity built up, but obviously there is a new strain out there.

*As I watch this generation try and rewrite our history, one thing I'm sure of … it will be misspelled and have no punctuation.

*Sorry I haven't gotten anything done today. I've been in the Produce Department trying to open this stupid plastic bag.

*Turns out that being a “senior" is mostly just googling how to do stuff.

*Do you ever get up in the morning, look in the mirror and think "That can't be accurate."

*I want to be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

*Teacher: Give me a sentence which includes the words: defence, defeat, detail.

Student: When a horse jumps over defence, defeat go first and then detail.

*I'm on two diets. I wasn't getting enough food on one.

*Apparently RSVPing to a wedding invitation "Maybe next time," isn't the correct response.

*I put my scale in the bathroom corner and that's where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

*My mind is like an internet browser. At least 19 open tabs, 3 of them are frozen and I have no clue where the music is coming from.

*Hard to believe I once had a phone attached to a wall, and when it rang, I picked it up without knowing who was calling, and I'm still alive.