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Good puns

Pura Vida

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Subject: Fw: Good puns







· I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

· When chemists die, they barium.

· Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

· A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray isnow a seasoned veteran.

· I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

· How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

· I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

· This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club,but I'd never met herbivore.

· I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

· I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words .

· They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.

· This dyslexic man walks into a bra .

· I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

· A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

· When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

· What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds..

· I wondered why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

· Broken pencils are pointless.

· What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

· England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

· I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

· I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

· All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen.


Police say they have nothing to go on.


· I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

· Velcro - what a rip off!

· Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.


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What did the bra say to the hat? You go on ahead while I give these two a lift!
We cannoli do so much. His legacy will become a pizza history.
Don’t spell part backwards. It’s a trap.
I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
 
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