So that's it. I've messed up and it's not perfect anymore. So I want to give up and stay in bed all day because I am a failure. And that's why I started this thread in the first place. Yes, I let myself down all the time. I hate messing up. I hate ruining things. I also hate letting other people down. I am hoping this last trait will be the dominant one and that I will push through this phase because I don't want to let you guys down. We'll see.
You smiled, that is great ......smile everyday ....you walked further then me todayKat, thanks, I didn't read your post until this morning. It is amazingly apt for me today and I am even giggling a little.
I didn't sleep that well. I woke at 1, 2 and 3 o'clock. It took me ages to get back to sleep. I woke at 5.22 and for the first morning since I got Pedro, I did not want to go out for an early walk. I knew this day was coming; that's the reason I started this thread. My head was thumping like I had a hangover and I just wanted to stay in bed all day.
I have messed up with my diet 2 days in a row. I haven't felt the urge to comfort eat at all and there have been 3 or 4 instances this week when previously I would have pigged out on a few bags of crisps. No, this wasn't comfort eating. This was eating because I was happy with an outcome......the visit to the doctors. I cooked a roast for our evening meal. I 'forgot' how many people I was cooking for and did too many roast potatoes. Usually I cope with roasts OK, particularly lamb, because my roast potatoes are never as nice when I cook roast lamb. This time they were nice. I thought just one wouldn't hurt. I don't suppose it did, but the 5 that followed it really messed up my BG in the morning.
Yesterday, I cooked lots of veggies for myself and since the other two weren't coming home till later, they decided to get themselves chips from the chip shop. The portions from our chip shop are huge, they usually get one portion of chips between them. This time they got a portion each....and left loads.....of course they did....... I'm trying to eat low carb so having two platefuls of leftover chips in front of me is exactly what I need. I got a sudden craving for salt and vinegar, and apparently for chips too. No, not two platefuls, 10-12 chips. Enough to make me feel bad about myself.
So that's it. I've messed up and it's not perfect anymore. So I want to give up and stay in bed all day because I am a failure. And that's why I started this thread in the first place. Yes, I let myself down all the time. I hate messing up. I hate ruining things. I also hate letting other people down. I am hoping this last trait will be the dominant one and that I will push through this phase because I don't want to let you guys down. We'll see.
So back to this morning. I did drag myself out of bed and I did go out walking. Slowly today, smaller steps. I knew I needed to feed Pedro at least a couple of thousand of steps early in the day, because I may not have the time later. He has in fact been fed 4630. If I ever do less than 5000 steps without a very good reason I will probably just give up and walk away from this thread and throw Pedro in the bin. So if you don't hear from me for a couple of weeks you will know what has happened. I am not criticising any of you who do less than 5000. I am not as ill as I once was, I don't work, my family don't need me running around after them anymore. I can at last put myself first and find the time to walk. I know most people don't have that luxury.
So Kat I got home after my walk and read your message and smiled.
None of this can be for us, the assembled forumites and fellow travellers with diabetes. It has to be for yourself, and to a lesser extent, your family and those closest to you. You, and they are really the ones who will reap the rewards of your efforts.
Dear Zand, this thread is great.
You are awesome - you are looking after yourself the majority of the time so one slip up does not mean failure. It just means as someone on this site said 'left foot right foot'.
Getting fit and losing weight isn't a race or a competition - I'm trying to get fit and my sister the runner told me "4 weeks ago you were sat on your **** on the couch. Now every time you move you are lapping that person." She doesn't hold back!
It's great to hear that you are getting fitter and lighter - just stop battering yourself for the set backs, because no one is perfect! Three steps forward and one back is still heading in the right direction.
If you carry on the way you are going a bet in three months time you will look back and realise just how far you have come.
Mrs Vimes xxxxxxSent from the Diabetes Forum App
Thanks Dee. Yes please I need lots of hugs!!!Zand,
I just want to give you a big hug, in fact I am sure I am not the only one reading this thread to think the same. You are a star and we all want to follow you to success and happiness (which includes good health).
Let us be your sounding board, your kick in the backside, your comfort blanket, whatever you need us to be because we want to be there for you during your bad times and during your good times let us smile and laugh along with you. Soon enough there WILL be more smiles and laughs and less of the bad times.
I take my anger out by turning the negative energy into positive by dancing (only when I am on my own though), soon I have travelled back in time (in my head) and am back in the disco days when I could dance for hours on end (big sigh).
I have never been one for writing so I hope you understand what I have tried to say.
Big Hugs,
Dee
Could you and the dog walker meet up go together? If I walk anywhere by myself it is well lit/reasonably busy.
Throw back to being brought up in a very rough neighbourhood. Sent from the Diabetes Forum App
So finally....I have lost another 2.5 pounds making 11 pounds altogether since April 1st......(.with jumper).
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?