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Help! I have so much weight to lose

Andy12345 said:
"sniff" but hey it could be worse..... i could be a gooner ;)
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yes that's true. It's times like these that I am glad Arsenal is only my second team, so I'm not really that bothered what you say about them......just leave Flamini alone 'cos he's my favourite.
 
Yesterday evening I spent too much time watching football and not enough time walking. I checked Pedro and thought I needed about 200 more steps to reach 10,000. Then I checked again and it was in fact 1200. That's a lot to find from just walking round the garden in the dark. I was told off for running up and downstairs again and again, so I ended up walking round and round the lounge looking and feeling like a demented caged animal. I am not going through that again, so this morning I did a much longer walk......which took me straight into another problem.

I was happy walking this morning and it was early (5.10). I walked along my favourite path, up to the group of trees. There was no one there at all so I kept walking. Then I saw some birds fly away from the area I was walking towards and noticed a man in the distance walking towards me. I froze, it appeared to be the same man who had made me feel uneasy a couple of weeks ago, but honestly he was so far away I couldn't really tell. Maybe the woman the other day was right to warn me, maybe she was just scaring me for nothing. He wasn't the problem. I was. I was scared. I turned and walked away. I didn't feel right. Looking down at my hands, I recognized what was happening; my body has reacted like this before in one or two stressful situations. My left side is gently shaking and wanting to run away and my right hand has formed itself into a very firm fist and doesn't want to run at all. This is not the 'Rocky game' I have been playing, that's fun. It's worse than that. It's one of the reasons I got to be so fat around my middle.

From 2003-2006 I found myself in a situation which was way outside my comfort zone. So twice a week I was very stressed, which usually resulted in me eating at Mc D's or having processed ready meals afterwards. This was when my body shape changed from being pear shaped to apple shaped. In around 2007 I bought a book called 'fat around the middle' by Marilyn Glenville and read about the stress hormones adrenaline and cortisol. She explained that modern day stresses do not use these 'flight or fight' hormones properly, so the sugar they cause to be released into your system stays there making you fat. (not quite that simple, but you get the gist). From then on I have tried to keep that type of stress to a minimum and if I have difficult phone calls or appointments to make, I make sure I only do one a day.

So back to today. By now, my brain has rationalized the situation and wants to just keep walking towards the man, who I am sure is perfectly safe. My body has other ideas. It is split into 2 very different, incompatible halves - like being Norman Hunter and Olivier Giroud at the same time. (Now, I quite like Giroud, but he could be a little more resilient. Have you ever counted the number of times he ends up on the ground clutching a wrist after a fairly mild challenge?). Trouble is I know the 'flight' bit is the only option to deal with the hormones flowing through me, I can't really march up to a poor unsuspecting innocent bloke and thump him, can I?

And that's the truly horrific part of this story. I knew had to run away. Not jog, that wouldn't cut it. Run until the shaking stopped and the fist uncurled. Not a pretty sight, I just hope no-one was watching. If there's another earthquake in Rutland you'll know why (and no, I don't live in Rutland). I am embarrassed and humiliated and ashamed at having to tell you this, but if I don't tell you everything that has had an impact on my weight, you can't help me and this thread won't help anyone else. I am feeling very raw because I need to be so honest. I am going to stay in the house for at least the rest of the day, I really don't want to face anyone at all.

I suppose I need to be careful with what I eat for a few days in case I have the urge to snack on junk. I may not get that though, I did actually use all that energy properly this time, so I might not want the junk food at all.

Tomorrow I am walking in the opposite direction, there is no way I am putting myself through that again.
 
hmmmm the bloke gave you the eeby geebies, whats wrong with that? it seems a perfectly normal response to me, a woman walking in a remote place at the crack of dawn when she sees a man near the spot someone had said theres a weirdo lurking, to be honest you would have to have been nuts not to have freaked out a little, your right to avoid that situation in the future, now the confusing bit, why you think this reflects badly on you?


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I'm another one in agreement with Andy. Why are you being so hard on yourself? I am sure every female in that situation would turn the other way. In fact, I wouldn't even have been there in the first place on my own at that time in the morning without at least 2 rottweilers!
 
I used to visit people in their homes and went on a self defence course, niy a physical one moire awareness of your surroundings. The advice that has stuck over the years " if your instinct is telling you something isn't right, listen to it!! In 99.999% of the cases it is right" you did right Zand, don't beat yourself up about it.
 
Mothership said:
I used to visit people in their homes and went on a self defence course, niy a physical one moire awareness of your surroundings. The advice that has stuck over the years " if your instinct is telling you something isn't right, listen to it!! In 99.999% of the cases it is right" you did right Zand, don't beat yourself up about it.
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Thanks for this, it has been really helpful
 
Andy12345 said:
hmmmm the bloke gave you the eeby geebies, whats wrong with that? it seems a perfectly normal response to me, a woman walking in a remote place at the crack of dawn when she sees a man near the spot someone had said theres a weirdo lurking, to be honest you would have to have been nuts not to have freaked out a little, your right to avoid that situation in the future, now the confusing bit, why you think this reflects badly on you? Sent from the Diabetes Forum App
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Thanks. I don't know, I suppose I haven't always been like this. Maybe my instincts are getting better
 
Yes, Zand, they are, and you have the courage to act on them, well done☺
 
I think both male and female are vulnerable at times and on walks which may be isolated can cause some worry...
I love my walks .....once I get going , they are mainly remote , I admit to not going on my own , if I did though I would always have my mobile in my hand and I would adopt a dog ....

I think you have a lot of untapped confidence going on these early morning walks Zand x
 
When you go from morning walk to morning jogging you will happily be jogging past this possibly threatening man.

I am a Harry Potter fan. There is so much wisdom hidden in the books. One thing I have taken to my heart is the "riddiculus", you know how to handle things you are scared of, and then laugh and they will dissolve into thin air.
 
zand said:
I'm not sure that transition will ever happen Totto!
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Use the Riddiculus charm while waving your phone at him if you are short of magic wand. Or use the Riddiculus charm, laugh as required and just walk away.
 
Totto said:
Use the Riddiculus charm while waving your phone at him if you are short of magic wand. Or use the Riddiculus charm, laugh as required and just walk away.
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The thing is Totto I didn't think there was any danger really. I was shocked at how my body was reacting. I was more concerned with getting rid of the cortisol, which might do harm to my metabolism, than any danger from the man.
 
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Had a nice walk this morning, same route but not as far as the trees. I passed a jogger. No dog walkers. I thought of all the times I had walked that route, over several years. I thought of all the people who have called me strange because I didn't jog or have a dog with me. Maybe the weirdo is simply 'a bit different', just like me.
 
Dee_licious1 said:
Zand, very very inspirational and just what I need to read right now as I have been feeling very down lately although I have been trying to fight against all negativity.

Recently diagnosed and doc said diet and exercise to control it. No apt to see a DN but am waiting for news on a DESMOND course (told could be 3 months) but my main problem is the amount of weight I have to lose :-( 10 stone in weight, yep, you read that right, I can lose 10 stone in weight. I have bought a pedometer which I put in my pocket everyday but don't take it out and check the step count (hangs head in shame), but I do use myLifestyle to record BG levels, BP levels and weight and I also use MyFitnessPal to record my meals and any exercise I do. It has to be easy to use or I would give up with it. I am just down because of a lack of weight loss since diagnosis. Its been 7 weeks and I may have lost 2lb in weight but that could be wishful thinking. I have given up the chocolate, crisps, biscuits, pastry and cut right back on pasta, rice, potatoes and bread, my stomach no longer bloats (which is great) and I limit myself to two cups of coffee a day and the rest of the time I drink low cal squash. I am not sure why I feel so low at the moment but seeing (reading) your story and updates is the kick in the backside I need to keep trying. Am back at docs on Monday and would love for him to give me some good news or just something motivational, I have always found him to be a good doc, we can laugh about things but he does not let me get away with anything.

I know that diabetes is about control and not about weight loss, I do understand that and I am testing 5 times a day (on waking) before lunch, 2hrs after, before dinner and 2hrs after and the average results since diagnosis show averages in the region of 6's so I think I am doing ok for now - still learning what foods affect me in a bad way, but, (yes, you knew that was coming), I just can't get my weight out of my mind. Does anyone have any idea's on why such a huge change in diet and portion size has not resulted in weight loss yet?

Am very sorry for rabbiting on like this, seems I had more on my mind than I thought.

Hugs,
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I haven't read the rest of the thread but under active thyroid? Water retention - do you drink enough? Have you tried ditching the pasta, rice, potatoes and bread and eating LCHF?
 
zand said:
Had a nice walk this morning, same route but not as far as the trees. I passed a jogger. No dog walkers. I thought of all the times I had walked that route, over several years. I thought of all the people who have called me strange because I didn't jog or have a dog with me. Maybe the weirdo is simply 'a bit different', just like me.
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Things like this catch us unawares. When I first met my husband fake fir hats and shawls were the rage. I had a long black wool coat, black boots and a zebra stripped hat and shawl on and all of a sudden some bloke stopped directly in front of me, looked me up and down and said what do you think you look like. I was speechless at the time (which my husband found amazing) and only thought of a suitably rude response afterwards. If some random stranger is prepared to yell abuse or make comments then it makes me think mental health - no one in their right mind would do this so probably more to be pitied! You go home at the end of the day. He has to live with himself!
 
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