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Help! I have so much weight to lose

i sometimes do silly things with food over the past year and a half I've had a burger king, a few macky dees etc etc, although this isn't a great idea and i also kick myself in the head afterwards, you should should try and channel your frustration with yourself into determination, a swift kick in the head, then a gritting of teeth and a resolution to not do it again, the odd slip from grace isn't going to undo the great work you've been doing, i think its good to be ****** off with yourself a little but you have to let it go, a few hours after whatever you ate its gone anyway, any effect it'll have on your body is done and dusted the next morning so no reason not to carry on with the righteous path and forget it, assuming we are not going to slip up is daft, we all do it, the trick is putting it behind us, a great philosopher (rocky lol) once said "its not about how hard we can hit, its about about hard we can get hit and keep moving forward"

just keep moving forward zand!
 
Thanks for that. I am doing my best to pick myself up again. Great quote Andy. I am listening to Survivor- Eye of the Tiger right now!
 
zand said:
So that's it. I've messed up and it's not perfect anymore. So I want to give up and stay in bed all day because I am a failure. And that's why I started this thread in the first place. Yes, I let myself down all the time. I hate messing up. I hate ruining things. I also hate letting other people down. I am hoping this last trait will be the dominant one and that I will push through this phase because I don't want to let you guys down. We'll see.
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Oh boy Zand. You really know how to self flagellate in a big way!

Life isn't perfect, and it never will be. I have a very strong drive for perfection too, and it can be very damaging. 30 years ago, I went through something that almost cost me my life, but taught me that very important lesson. It's not about accepting second best, it's about gaining a little kinder (to yourself) perspective on the big things. Accepting that "stuff" often has a range of acceptable values, rather than a binary pass/fail approach. That said, that perfectionist drive is what has made me so successful in what I do. I bet you also achieve great things. The difficulty for people like us is accepting that range. Ring any bells?

None of this can be for us, the assembled forumites and fellow travellers with diabetes. It has to be for yourself, and to a lesser extent, your family and those closest to you. You, and they are really the ones who will reap the rewards of your efforts.

Did your family understand how unkind it felt of them to leave their discarded chips tantalising you yesterday? When we are doing well, those closest's confidence in our stoicism can be raised to a level beyond our own. Sometimes my OH suggests I could have a few days off my regime, and step back right where I left it off. I'm flattered, but not as confident as he is, so, for now, I stick with what works for me. In a couple of weeks, when we visit a French Island, with the most fabulous patisserie, I'm not sure I will be able to turn away from one of those divine chocolate Eclairs again, because it was a close run thing last time, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Be kind to yourself. This thing is hard enough, without you beating yourself at any given opportunity. So, you stumbled. You know you can get back up again.
 
Dear Zand

It's not when we fall that we are beaten it's when we fail to get back up.

Store all the negative things you are feeling at times when you fall off the wagon and recall them the next time you are faced with temptation.

Whatever you do, do not give up. We are all human and we all have moments of weakness. What is important is to learn from our mistakes and hopefully avoid them in the future.

As a friend on this site once told me if living with diabetes was easy, everyone would be doing it..


Pavlos
Type 2 - Diagnosed 2009; Latest HbA1c 5,8%; Diabetes Medication: metformin 2x850mg; Other medication: Aspirin 75mg, Valsartan 80mg, Rosuvostatin 20mg, Ezetimibe 10mg; Exercise: One hour walk daily, tennis weekly, swimming when warm enough
 
zand said:
:happy::D Kat, thanks, I didn't read your post until this morning. It is amazingly apt for me today and I am even giggling a little.

I didn't sleep that well. I woke at 1, 2 and 3 o'clock. It took me ages to get back to sleep. I woke at 5.22 and for the first morning since I got Pedro, I did not want to go out for an early walk. I knew this day was coming; that's the reason I started this thread. My head was thumping like I had a hangover and I just wanted to stay in bed all day.

I have messed up with my diet 2 days in a row. I haven't felt the urge to comfort eat at all and there have been 3 or 4 instances this week when previously I would have pigged out on a few bags of crisps. No, this wasn't comfort eating. This was eating because I was happy with an outcome......the visit to the doctors. I cooked a roast for our evening meal. I 'forgot' how many people I was cooking for and did too many roast potatoes. Usually I cope with roasts OK, particularly lamb, because my roast potatoes are never as nice when I cook roast lamb. This time they were nice. I thought just one wouldn't hurt. I don't suppose it did, but the 5 that followed it really messed up my BG in the morning.

Yesterday, I cooked lots of veggies for myself and since the other two weren't coming home till later, they decided to get themselves chips from the chip shop. The portions from our chip shop are huge, they usually get one portion of chips between them. This time they got a portion each....and left loads.....of course they did....... I'm trying to eat low carb so having two platefuls of leftover chips in front of me is exactly what I need. I got a sudden craving for salt and vinegar, and apparently for chips too. No, not two platefuls, 10-12 chips. Enough to make me feel bad about myself.

So that's it. I've messed up and it's not perfect anymore. So I want to give up and stay in bed all day because I am a failure. And that's why I started this thread in the first place. Yes, I let myself down all the time. I hate messing up. I hate ruining things. I also hate letting other people down. I am hoping this last trait will be the dominant one and that I will push through this phase because I don't want to let you guys down. We'll see.

So back to this morning. I did drag myself out of bed and I did go out walking. Slowly today, smaller steps. I knew I needed to feed Pedro at least a couple of thousand of steps early in the day, because I may not have the time later. He has in fact been fed 4630. If I ever do less than 5000 steps without a very good reason I will probably just give up and walk away from this thread and throw Pedro in the bin. So if you don't hear from me for a couple of weeks you will know what has happened. I am not criticising any of you who do less than 5000. I am not as ill as I once was, I don't work, my family don't need me running around after them anymore. I can at last put myself first and find the time to walk. I know most people don't have that luxury.

So Kat I got home after my walk and read your message and smiled.:)
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You smiled, that is great ......smile everyday ....you walked further then me today :)
Yes put yourself first , you are important ....X
 
AndBreathe said:
None of this can be for us, the assembled forumites and fellow travellers with diabetes. It has to be for yourself, and to a lesser extent, your family and those closest to you. You, and they are really the ones who will reap the rewards of your efforts.
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Yes, I hear what you are saying, but I really cannot do it for me yet. I don't know why, but I can't.... so the closest I can manage to get to that place is to do it because I feel I have made a kind of 'contract' with you all. Now, I willingly made the contract for me and my family, but that's not quite the same thing as seeing it through for myself is it? It is a step forward from where I have been though, but even thinking about this issue sends me into a panic and my brain just goes crazy.. Sorry that's very muddled. I hope you can decipher it all.
 
My elder son came round yesterday afternoon and made me a playlist from his music( from our home PC), which I have really missed since he left home (I have missed him too of course.) Anyway he asked what sort of music I wanted I said, loud, or motivational, metal, anything quieter has to have great words. So he starts with what he thinks will motivate me.... 1. Gonna Fly Now..
2. Eye of the Tiger
3. Tubthumping

Brilliant, he knows me so well !
 
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Dear Zand, this thread is great.
You are awesome - you are looking after yourself the majority of the time so one slip up does not mean failure. It just means as someone on this site said 'left foot right foot'.

Getting fit and losing weight isn't a race or a competition - I'm trying to get fit and my sister the runner told me "4 weeks ago you were sat on your **** on the couch. Now every time you move you are lapping that person." She doesn't hold back!

It's great to hear that you are getting fitter and lighter - just stop battering yourself for the set backs, because no one is perfect! Three steps forward and one back is still heading in the right direction.

If you carry on the way you are going a bet in three months time you will look back and realise just how far you have come.

Mrs Vimes xxxxxx




Sent from the Diabetes Forum App
 
Mrs Vimes said:
Dear Zand, this thread is great.
You are awesome - you are looking after yourself the majority of the time so one slip up does not mean failure. It just means as someone on this site said 'left foot right foot'.

Getting fit and losing weight isn't a race or a competition - I'm trying to get fit and my sister the runner told me "4 weeks ago you were sat on your **** on the couch. Now every time you move you are lapping that person." She doesn't hold back!

It's great to hear that you are getting fitter and lighter - just stop battering yourself for the set backs, because no one is perfect! Three steps forward and one back is still heading in the right direction.

If you carry on the way you are going a bet in three months time you will look back and realise just how far you have come.

Mrs Vimes xxxxxxSent from the Diabetes Forum App
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Thank you for those very kind words.

I am afraid I am the sort of person who just gives up a lot of the time, so when something is really important I do tend to beat myself up over it. I don't think I can ever stop being like this. However I am making a real effort to get over it quickly as Andy says at the top of this page. Pavlos also gave me some great advice about storing the negative feelings and using them next time I am faced with temptation. I cooked a roast again yesterday and didn't have any potatoes, so I think it works.

I'm glad you are getting fitter too, keep us up-to-date with your progress. It's very encouraging.
 
Zand,

I just want to give you a big hug, in fact I am sure I am not the only one reading this thread to think the same. You are a star and we all want to follow you to success and happiness (which includes good health).

Let us be your sounding board, your kick in the backside, your comfort blanket, whatever you need us to be because we want to be there for you during your bad times and during your good times let us smile and laugh along with you. Soon enough there WILL be more smiles and laughs and less of the bad times.

I take my anger out by turning the negative energy into positive by dancing (only when I am on my own though), soon I have travelled back in time (in my head) and am back in the disco days when I could dance for hours on end (big sigh).

I have never been one for writing so I hope you understand what I have tried to say.

Big Hugs,

Dee
 
Dee_licious1 said:
Zand,

I just want to give you a big hug, in fact I am sure I am not the only one reading this thread to think the same. You are a star and we all want to follow you to success and happiness (which includes good health).

Let us be your sounding board, your kick in the backside, your comfort blanket, whatever you need us to be because we want to be there for you during your bad times and during your good times let us smile and laugh along with you. Soon enough there WILL be more smiles and laughs and less of the bad times.

I take my anger out by turning the negative energy into positive by dancing (only when I am on my own though), soon I have travelled back in time (in my head) and am back in the disco days when I could dance for hours on end (big sigh).

I have never been one for writing so I hope you understand what I have tried to say.

Big Hugs,

Dee
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Thanks Dee. Yes please I need lots of hugs!!!

Yes I do the dancing thing too - like you only when I am alone!!! Strangely, I do it when I am happy and when I am sad......but not so much when I am 'just ticking over OK'. I am rediscovering music again now, having spent many years not really bothering about it. It's so much better than watching TV!

Oh, I have to argue with your last sentence. You are great at writing, I always understand what you are trying to say and I always gain a lot from it. Thank you

Bigger Hugs.
 
As you know, I usually go out walking early mornings. Today it was 5.10am when I left the house. I started my usual walk and was aware that there was a dog running after me. It stopped when it was 2 metres away and didn't get any closer, so it was well behaved really and wasn't a threat to me at all. I was a bit scared at first though because it was an Alsatian and I didn't know how well trained it was. I do not like big dogs at all. As the owner got closer she told me that I was walking well now(!!!), but to be careful because there was a weirdo hanging around by some trees a few hundred yards away and that I needed to be carrying something to protect myself even if it was only my phone. She had her 2 dogs to protect her. I think I did walk past the same man a week or so ago and I did feel a little uneasy then.

I was phased by what she said for a couple of minutes, but now I don't feel worried about it. I like walking at that time of day because there are very few people around, so I intend to carry on walking at the same time every day in roughly the same area. Most of the pathway I use cannot be seen from the road and usually there are not any dog walkers there that early.

Am I being foolish? Should I walk in the other direction instead? (I don't enjoy that walk as much)
 
Could you and the dog walker meet up go together? If I walk anywhere by myself it is well lit/reasonably busy.
Throw back to being brought up in a very rough neighbourhood.


Sent from the Diabetes Forum App
 
Mrs Vimes said:
Could you and the dog walker meet up go together? If I walk anywhere by myself it is well lit/reasonably busy.
Throw back to being brought up in a very rough neighbourhood. Sent from the Diabetes Forum App
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No, I don't know her and she isn't there at that time every day. I think she probably goes to different places to walk her dogs sometimes. I suppose I could do my normal walk but make sure I don't extend it to the area where she says he sits.
 
OK so here's my Tuesday update, I am shaking as I type this because I hate having to stand up for myself and usually don't bother. But I did.
My steps first 'cos that's the easiest place to start.

Tues 11411
Weds 19148
Thurs 15871
Fri 10389
Sat 11099
Sun 16187
Mon 10812

I am a bit upset with myself because it took me ages to find the same jeans I always wear to SW to be weighed in. Because I was rushing I forgot to put Pedro in my pocket - so that's not perfect anymore, but that's OK 'cos I know I am not 'cheating', I can always walk some more later. Not a problem.

There was the cutest little boy queuing with his Mummy today, but he started crying because he was having to wait so long. I didn't blame him. I felt like crying too....and things were only going to get worse.

It was very warm in the hall today, so everyone took their jumpers off. Me too. This was a huge mistake, I should have just put up with it. Stood there, sweating, it would have been much easier. Eventually it was my turn to be weighed. I put my bag and shoes near a chair and went to the scales holding my jumper. Now you all know that the only reason I am going to SW is so that I can be weighed on their scales. I accept I can't do everything perfectly......but I can do this part of it perfectly and that is enough to satisfy that part of me that needs to do things correctly ( I hope you get my drift, I am still shaking). Wearing the same clothes every week so that I know I am telling you my correct weight loss is important to me. If I can manage to do this one thing perfectly then I can cope with messing up everywhere else. Take that away from me and I give up altogether.

So I walk to the scales and the woman says,. 'Put your jumper down, we don't weigh with them'
'I do, I always weigh with it, so I would just like to hold it'
'But you will lose more if you put it down'
'No, I won't will I' (said as a statement not a question)
'Oh, yes, you would be surprised'
'But I won't actually lose weight by putting it down, will I? Can I just weigh with it please, as usual'
'I'll get Tracey, she'll explain'
'I'd like to weigh with it please' . I do not want to stay a moment longer than I have to, and so I really do not want to see Tracey, or Sharon either for that matter.
' Well, I don't know, we don't usually weigh with jumpers'
At this point I am in danger of taking the Rocky theme a little too far. If ever anyone was asking for a bop on the nose it was this woman.
'You've weighed me with a jumper every week so far.'
'Well OK, but on your head be it, you could lose more without it'
Phew, she really does not know how close that was.

So finally....I have lost another 2.5 pounds making 11 pounds altogether since April 1st......(.with jumper).
 
Well done Zand, maybe a small point but one that is quite rightly important to you for consistency. Stupid weighing woman obviously doesn't understand the concept. And very well done on the (real) 2.5 pounds.
 
zand said:
So finally....I have lost another 2.5 pounds making 11 pounds altogether since April 1st......(.with jumper).
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Just think zand you could have a one off extra 2 pounds if you put the jumper down you just can never put it back on again ever, ever, ever :p

Well done.
 
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