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Vanna21

Member
Messages
8
Type of diabetes
Other
Treatment type
Insulin
I need help, my partner is type 1, diagnosed in 2013, it seems like it's been an eternal struggle for both of us, I try help the best I can but always seem to agrovate the situation and that's the last thing I want to do, at first she took it so well and managed it great, and then it just started going wrong, I try not to get at her to check her blood and to have insulin and to not eat sugary foods, in fact most of the time I dnt say anything because it's easier but she's realy struggling with her diabetes management and with depression I just want to help and I can't seem to
 
I am sorry to hear you are both going through this and it can be a natural step from diagnosis is her d team well involved? If so I wonder if getting more support like a counsellor could help? Depression and diabetes is common and ok. It's a tough illness and I wonder when she see her te if you can go (probably do) but to ask for support for you to. When I was diagnosed my mum took it pretty bad and she got support for over two years so she could in the long run help me. Don't know if it helps at all but I wish you the best
 
Hello and welcome to the forum! I'm sorry to hear your partner is struggling with her diabetes at the moment. It sounds like it might help her to have contact soon with her consultant/clinic/diabetes specialist nurse. They will help her to get back on track, through discussing her current diet, insulin doses and blood sugar readings and that will help to remotivate her to look after herself. I think most of us go through periods like this from time to time, and it's always important to take action, so it's a good thing you have contacted the forum. Many people here ready to listen and to help, so keep posting.
 
She doesn't realy get anybody involved, the last time she spoke to anybody was when she was in hospital with hi ketones, she won't speak to anybody and it takes me long enough to get anything out of her, I no how tough it is on her and I can't even imagine what she's going though, thanks for the reply it is a help
 
Very tough then especially On you to. All I can say really is she will talk at some point when who knows but I guess it's a condition that affects your people on a self esteem level I think and that's hard to help with. I guess from what it sounds like you could point her everywhere but she won't go. It's hard to see a partner harming themselves and I guess she has to have the motivation. It sounds like your doing such a nice things for her like being patient listening when she opens up. For me it's always been that the effects are not worth ignoring but that's me. All I can say is it's awesome your taking we might not be able to fix the situation for you but I can say all the forum people are good with their eyes and listening so keep posting we are happy to support
 
You said that when your partner was diagnosed, she took it well for a while and then everything started to go wrong. Can you remember what happened that first made you realise this? Was it high blood sugar readings, hypos, having to inject, diet problems? You mentioned her going into hospital for high ketones. Was that when she started to get depressed?
 
Hi Vanna21
welcome to the forum:)
it is really great you have come to the forum to look for some help for your partner and there are lots of good people with support here.
Have a read of this link kindly posted by @Robinredbreast . If you can get your partner to have a read that would be good too.
all of us will experience at least some of these symptoms over time as the D just never has a holiday :(

http://www.diabetes.co.uk/forum/threads/diabetes-burnout.74048/
 
I sympathise with you both...I think what you're describing is probably quite common. I know for me personally, once I'd dealt with the initial roller coaster of emotions following diagnosis I buckled down and just got on with it...achieving amazing results in that first year but although I didn't realise it at the time I think that was more likely due to the honeymoon period. When the honeymoon was over my control went with it...adapting doses and more and more testing became a constant headache to the point I too became quite depressed and withdrawn. Dealing with diabetes day to day is a struggle, while it only takes moments to test or inject the emotional side of it is with you all day long...someone else posted a great picture a little while back that I really relate to...hopefully link below will take you there.

http://www.healthline.com/diabetesmine/sunday-funnies-all-in-our-heads

When you look at this it is kind of easier to understand why diabetics get down and struggle to cope...there are days when you could just do without the hassle and you just want to turn it all off...I know I'm guilty of turning it off...but if you turn it off for too long it starts to cause problems which is what you're seeing now with DKA...I've been there too and it's deeply unpleasant and not something I ever want to experience again. Perhaps you could show her this picture...introduce her to the forum...show her this thread...and let her see that she's not alone and what's she's feeling is normal and that you want to help her. She may or may not appreciate it...but maybe it's not the right time for her just now...we all deal with things very differently and in our own time but if nothing else she'll realise how concerned you are for her and hopefully that'll be enough to give her a bump in the right direction.

Best wishes to you both
 
Hello,
I was diagnosed in July of this year... and i was the same at first, i was very enthusiastic at first (i don't think it really sank in how much it was really going to consume my daily life, and the fact this was going to be forever)... at first i thought, well it's a good thing diet wise it will disipline me to eat healthy all of the time and exercise more etc.. and then as the weeks went by i started getting more and more complacent and unmotivated... not too bad though, I've not been back in hospital with Ketones yet or anything like that but i could just feel things slipping, my general outlook on it was bad i stopped carrying sugar around with me thinking i knew my body etc which i don't i am only 6 months into this condition and still learning!... Then recently i saw a guy on tv who was type one, 24 years old and had gone blind due to poor control.. and it scared the hell out of me. I thought to myself this condition does not come with choices, you get out of diabetes what you put into it, there is alot of help out there these days compared to years ago, granted we are the ones that have to live with it and deal with it day in day out.. but if you don't try and get some control, then it will control you. The less control you have the more depressed and unwell you feel. I was thinking about this 24 year old guy who had lost his sight and i thought, if that happened to me due to me not caring enough i would be absolutely gutted in myself. I have my whole life ahead of me, sometimes we all have off days where we want to throw in the towel, but it's not worth it! You can live a happy normal life and be in control of this, there's lots of help and so many of us all living the same life! Sometimes when we have a bad day, you have to get up dust yourself off and remember there's more to life! I totally get the feeling of wanting to give up... but if your partner would like to talk, tell her she can message me at any time. I'll be happy to talk. Sometimes when i'm fed up with it and start to get lazy i think of my family and friends that love and care about me and how they would feel if i let it destroy me and my health. She can get through this :) .. As i said i'm happy to talk, although i'm still learning about this condition myself, it's horrible to hear about others going through a tough time.
 
Hi and well done for coming here on her behalf.

Sadly it sounds like she is in denial, which goes hand in hand with depression, it's only something that she can ask for help with. Fluctuating sugar levels can play havoc with the emotions, so becoming more stable and controlling the levels will help with her mood and motivation but carrying on eating/doing same before diagnosis will not help in dealing with it. Are you in contact with her healthcare team to ask for help ?

It takes a very patient person to support someone in this position, but being there and listening will help - pushing or trying to control her behaviour will push her away.

Try learning or encourage learning - as with anything in life, knowledge is power, and will allow her to manage her condition better, there are some great books out there - 'Think like a Pancreas' as well as Dr Bernsteins book will be a wealth of knowledge. Acceptance will come in time but the sooner the better as this condition can be a burden on the body if left unattended, causing unseen damage, try and see if you can both take time out to discuss it openly and how you can both help each other, she may be concerned she is a burden to you but open communication will allow you both to work out the best way forward.

Good luck ;)
 
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