Helping diagnosed family members?

[PenfoldAPD]

So my father has now been diagnosed as type 2. I feel immensely sad for him but want to help. He is rather confused about what to eat - he has seen the diabetic nurse who basically said 'eat a good diet' ... the old Eatwell plate.

Would be interested to know how others have handled family members been diagnosed. Did you jump in and push low carb (if you follow it). Or tread slowly so I don't scare him.

My Father is approaching 75 so I want to make this easy for him and help him. Gosh, life is tough at times isn't it?

 

[bulkbiker]

I would just show him your results and tell him what you did to achieve them. After all you are now an unmedicated diet controlled Type 2 so who could be a better example?

 

[PenfoldAPD]

I would just show him your results and tell him what you did to achieve them. After all you are now an unmedicated diet controlled Type 2 so who could be a better example?

You are very kind @bulkbiker and a good friend. Thank you. I'll give him a few days then go see him at the weekend.

 

[BrianTheElder]

So my father has now been diagnosed as type 2. I feel immensely sad for him but want to help. He is rather confused about what to eat - he has seen the diabetic nurse who basically said 'eat a good diet' ... the old Eatwell plate.

Would be interested to know how others have handled family members been diagnosed. Did you jump in and push low carb (if you follow it). Or tread slowly so I don't scare him.

My Father is approaching 75 so I want to make this easy for him and help him. Gosh, life is tough at times isn't it?

Hi
My sympathies to your father. However, I am 74 this year and I'm sure he doesn't need treating with kid gloves. In the prime of life in fact. I would encourage him with your own example, could be a really good bond between you.

 

[Jaylee]

Well? My T2 dad had dementia.. My mum was his primary full time carer.. I just pointed out how certain foods work to my mum. & why I avoid them as aT1.
He had a meter on prescription & was on Metformin.
The "irony" was toward the end of his life, he was pulled off the met by his doctor.. He kind of went from consistently testing in the early teens, to dropping as low as the mid 3s.

 

[Diakat]

I punted my MIL to this site then stepped back.

 

[walnut_face]

@PenfoldAPD sorry to hear that, you are living blood relative proof that it isnt the end of world, use it to your mutual advantage

 

[ickihun]

Tell him what I told you.
Luckily he doesn't have to struggle without meds. Especially if he's fragile. Younger and stronger newees can tackle it head forward like a war. Some haven't that fight in them. No matter how much you explain it. You are either a warrior or not. Not everyone is.
Is your father a warrior and a disciplined person? They seems to fair better without meds when newely diagnosed, in my experience. I see it everyday at my appointments.

 

[ickihun]

I punted my MIL to this site then stepped back.

I think I'd do the same.
Its a personal journey, isn't it.

 

[Diakat]

I think I'd do the same.
Its a personal journey, isn't it.

Yep. We all have to find our own way (sadly,).

 

[AndBreathe]

Personally, I would be inclined to empathise with him, and reassure him that whilst it's a blow, it can be handled.

I'd ask him if he wants any help or if he'd like to find his feet a bit first. Just make him aware you're willing to help if he wants it, but at diagnosis we all handle it differently, and he may want or need his space.

If he's internet savvy, then you could leave him with a few urls or YouTube videos if he's more a watcher than reader.

 

[PenfoldAPD]

Hi
My sympathies to your father. However, I am 74 this year and I'm sure he doesn't need treating with kid gloves. In the prime of life in fact. I would encourage him with your own example, could be a really good bond between you.

Thanks for your comment. I don't want to treat him with kid gloves, I just want this to be as easy as possible for him - guess we'd all want that for our family.

Some great suggestions here and thank you everyone who has helped. Think I'll go see him at the weekend with a low carb lemon cake - show him that he doesn't have to give up eating cake

 

[Element137]

Sadly- I have faced a similar situation to what you find yourself in and I have still not resolved it - my brother was diagnosed T2 about 3 years before me - until I was diagnosed August last year I didn't really pay any attention to how he was dealing with it - (shame on me ) - we only meet up a couple times a year - met up just before xmas and now armed with a bit more understanding asked how he was getting on dealing with being T2 - his view is that the Metformin takes care of the issue, as long as he takes the tablets then life is pretty normal. His Hba1c at last test was 100 - and he had received two letters ( both ignored ) from his GP to go in and discuss - I tried to explain how I was concerned for him and that I had gone very differently by going down the LCHF route - after 20 mins of trying to convince him he is rolling his eyes to my other brother and commenting ''when did you become a doctor'' - this is despite us losing our mom when she was only 52 due to T2 complications - I have been wrestling with my conscious ever since as I worry about him - but clearly don't want to force my views on him. I hope you find a way of helping your father.

 

[PenfoldAPD]

Sadly- I have faced a similar situation to what you find yourself in and I have still not resolved it - my brother was diagnosed T2 about 3 years before me - until I was diagnosed August last year I didn't really pay any attention to how he was dealing with it - (shame on me ) - we only meet up a couple times a year - met up just before xmas and now armed with a bit more understanding asked how he was getting on dealing with being T2 - his view is that the Metformin takes care of the issue, as long as he takes the tablets then life is pretty normal. His Hba1c at last test was 100 - and he had received two letters ( both ignored ) from his GP to go in and discuss - I tried to explain how I was concerned for him and that I had gone very differently by going down the LCHF route - after 20 mins of trying to convince him he is rolling his eyes to my other brother and commenting ''when did you become a doctor'' - this is despite us losing our mom when she was only 52 due to T2 complications - I have been wrestling with my conscious ever since as I worry about him - but clearly don't want to force my views on him. I hope you find a way of helping your father.

Sorry to hear this. I have experienced the same with friends though, I'm fairly vocal about my 'achievements' in the hope others might be inspired, friends have said they just take the pills, it'll be ok.

Sometimes, however selfish, I guess we have to take care of ourselves.

Best regards to you, thanks for your honest reply.

 

[Enclave]

Sadly- I have faced a similar situation to what you find yourself in and I have still not resolved it - my brother was diagnosed T2 about 3 years before me - until I was diagnosed August last year I didn't really pay any attention to how he was dealing with it - (shame on me ) - we only meet up a couple times a year - met up just before xmas and now armed with a bit more understanding asked how he was getting on dealing with being T2 - his view is that the Metformin takes care of the issue, as long as he takes the tablets then life is pretty normal. His Hba1c at last test was 100 - and he had received two letters ( both ignored ) from his GP to go in and discuss - I tried to explain how I was concerned for him and that I had gone very differently by going down the LCHF route - after 20 mins of trying to convince him he is rolling his eyes to my other brother and commenting ''when did you become a doctor'' - this is despite us losing our mom when she was only 52 due to T2 complications - I have been wrestling with my conscious ever since as I worry about him - but clearly don't want to force my views on him. I hope you find a way of helping your father.

I have the same problem with a good friend ... they still think their dr knows best

 

[Brunneria]

Well, I have made some mistakes that ended up distressing me far more than my father.

We were visiting my parents and they saw me testing expressed an interest and I tested my father. He was 9mmol/l after a low carb meal that had me at around 7mmol/l. So I lent him a meter, and suggested he go to the docs. And I sent him a couple of books.

He skim read the books, dodged the testing and the doctors, and pretended it hadn't happened.

Family members started noticing brain fog and vagueness. Attempts to discuss it with him failed, until I lost patience, blew up at him, and stepped back.

2 years pass. Whenever I see him, he says things like 'don't worry, I had that hot chocolate to keep my blood sugar up, so I'll be fine to drive', and 'just one won't hurt', as he tucks into a roast dinner with mashed potato, sticky toffee pudding and custard, followed by coffee with sugar and chocolates.

Things worsen. Still no visit to doc. Brain fog increases. Navigation skills deteriorate.

Last I heard he has started to control his diet better (after getting lost one time too many), but still won't go to the doctor. As a result we have no idea whether we are seeing the slow start of Alzheimers, or brain fog, or just gentle deterioration due to being 80+.

 

[Chook]

After watching several friends and workmates really suffering with the symptoms of high BG, who then get diagnosed and DN recommending the usual carby 'balanced healthy diet' and their symptoms getting worse, I have always offered to run through the low carb option with them. They listen politely and then, without fail, say 'I couldn't live without my bread / chips / sweets'.

So, if I were you, for your own peace of mind, I'd volunteer the information or assistance, but don't be surprised if he doesn't use what you've told him. At least, then, you know you've done what you can to help. At the end of the day he's an adult who will make his own choices, no matter how frustrating it is for you.