'Hidden' Diseases and Annoying People

[James2002]

Hello Everyone,

I have had insulin-dependant diabetes going on 21 years now and I'm sure many of you will understand that burning need to find a toilet when your glucose levels are just that tad bit high. Unfortunately I fell victim to this whilst driving across the UK today and stopped in what seemed to be a lovely eatery to use their facilities. Upon entering, I asked one member of staff if I could please use their toilet and without need of an explanation she simply pointed me in the right direction. Great! However, as I was leaving, another member of staff, assuming managerial due to their high horse shouted 'excuse me'. Now the whole cafe is looking at me and this bloke having a stare down. He proceeded to call me 'rude' and mockingly asked if I saw a public services sign on the door. Now, I'm not one for confrontation so I apologised and explained my circumstances. This chap then proceeded to say it would've been fine if I had explained it before (which I did to the nice member of staff), however, apparently this explanation wasn't as fine now, as he continued to belittle me in front of all of his lovely customers. I even offered to buy a drink, nope not good enough for ol' matey. So I ended up apologising and heading on my way.

I am certainly not one to complain, however, instances such as this have unforunately happened innumerous times in my life and I just felt like venting about this one. I personally believe Diabetes is often overlooked or people don't understand that a 'hidden' disease is as much an illness as any other. However, it will not stop me asking individuals to use their facilities as it only happens 1% of the time, but that 1% does always grind my gears!

 

[Jaylee]

Hello Everyone,

I have had insulin-dependant diabetes going on 21 years now and I'm sure many of you will understand that burning need to find a toilet when your glucose levels are just that tad bit high. Unfortunately I fell victim to this whilst driving across the UK today and stopped in what seemed to be a lovely eatery to use their facilities. Upon entering, I asked one member of staff if I could please use their toilet and without need of an explanation she simply pointed me in the right direction. Great! However, as I was leaving, another member of staff, assuming managerial due to their high horse shouted 'excuse me'. Now the whole cafe is looking at me and this bloke having a stare down. He proceeded to call me 'rude' and mockingly asked if I saw a public services sign on the door. Now, I'm not one for confrontation so I apologised and explained my circumstances. This chap then proceeded to say it would've been fine if I had explained it before (which I did to the nice member of staff), however, apparently this explanation wasn't as fine now, as he continued to belittle me in front of all of his lovely customers. I even offered to buy a drink, nope not good enough for ol' matey. So I ended up apologising and heading on my way.

I am certainly not one to complain, however, instances such as this have unforunately happened innumerous times in my life and I just felt like venting about this one. I personally believe Diabetes is often overlooked or people don't understand that a 'hidden' disease is as much an illness as any other. However, it will not stop me asking individuals to use their facilities as it only happens 1% of the time, but that 1% does always grind my gears!

Hi James,

Welcome to the forum.

To be frank, if I’m caught & had been in a situation where I need to correct.

I find a safe place to stop & use the privacy of my own vehicle. (Lay-by, or car park..)
In fact the back windows are tinted out giving even more seclusion…
But normally I hoik up my tee shirt & stay in the driver’s seat.

 

[James2002]

Hi James,

Welcome to the forum.

To be frank, if I’m caught & had been in a situation where I need to correct.

I find a safe place to stop & use the privacy of my own vehicle. (Lay-by, or car park..)
In fact the back windows are tinted out giving even more seclusion…
But normally I hoik up my tee shirt & stay in the driver’s seat.

Hi Jaylee,

Really sorry I think there's been some confusion I should have clarified. I was unfrotunately caught in the middle of a small town and I needed to actually 'use' the toilet. In terms of injecting I am very happy to pull over and proceed when possible.

 

[Deleted member 527103]

If I am caught short and need to use a bathroom, I will often discreetly ask to use the facilities because I have diabetes. This has never been an issue and preempts the awkward conversation.
Sadly, there are too many people who use the facilities as public ones which lead to misunderstandings. If anyone did try to pull me up, I use it as an opportunity for subtle (and I do mean “subtle”) education.

 

[JoKalsbeek]

Hello Everyone,

I have had insulin-dependant diabetes going on 21 years now and I'm sure many of you will understand that burning need to find a toilet when your glucose levels are just that tad bit high. Unfortunately I fell victim to this whilst driving across the UK today and stopped in what seemed to be a lovely eatery to use their facilities. Upon entering, I asked one member of staff if I could please use their toilet and without need of an explanation she simply pointed me in the right direction. Great! However, as I was leaving, another member of staff, assuming managerial due to their high horse shouted 'excuse me'. Now the whole cafe is looking at me and this bloke having a stare down. He proceeded to call me 'rude' and mockingly asked if I saw a public services sign on the door. Now, I'm not one for confrontation so I apologised and explained my circumstances. This chap then proceeded to say it would've been fine if I had explained it before (which I did to the nice member of staff), however, apparently this explanation wasn't as fine now, as he continued to belittle me in front of all of his lovely customers. I even offered to buy a drink, nope not good enough for ol' matey. So I ended up apologising and heading on my way.

I am certainly not one to complain, however, instances such as this have unforunately happened innumerous times in my life and I just felt like venting about this one. I personally believe Diabetes is often overlooked or people don't understand that a 'hidden' disease is as much an illness as any other. However, it will not stop me asking individuals to use their facilities as it only happens 1% of the time, but that 1% does always grind my gears!

Not a T1, but frequent loo user. The last time I went in someplace I didn't have the time to have a meal or a drink, and by the time I'd come back to that point (after a workshop fox photography), they were going to be closed. So I went to the counter and asked whether they could ring me up for the use of their toilet, or just, you know, a cup of coffee I didn't have the luxury to actually down at that moment. I was just about laughed out of there, said it was very sweet of me to want to pay, but nonsense... Just have a cuppa next time I'm there. (And I will, when we return next month). I have had bad experiences here and there because of my diet (which is how I control my T2), but those instances are vastly outnumbered by those where I am made to feel welcome. I tend to leave very positive google reviews with establishments that have been kind to me, due to the kitchen being nice and accommodating or the facilities being available to me. Including pictures, as those get more views. I don't have the nerve to leave negative ones, but... That is, indeed, an option. And maybe it'll teach them something about not being *******'s to people who are in urgent need of a certain kind of porcelain due to circumstances beyond their control.

All in all though, as grating as it is.... Most of the time, it goes well. Thank heavens for that! And when it doesn't.... Google Reviews might be your friend?
Hugs,
Jo

 

[Jaylee]

Hi Jaylee,

Really sorry I think there's been some confusion I should have clarified. I was unfrotunately caught in the middle of a small town and I needed to actually 'use' the toilet. In terms of injecting I am very happy to pull over and proceed when possible.

Ah,

OK. Being berated by a member of staff for using the convienice as intended in my view was inappropriate..

 

[James2002]

If I am caught short and need to use a bathroom, I will often discreetly ask to use the facilities because I have diabetes. This has never been an issue and preempts the awkward conversation.
Sadly, there are too many people who use the facilities as public ones which lead to misunderstandings. If anyone did try to pull me up, I use it as an opportunity for subtle (and I do mean “subtle”) education.

I fully agree, lots of people will just use facilities as public ones as you say. I personally always ask express permission to use a businesses bathroom. Was just shocked by the member of staff's behaviour as I too attempted to provide a subtle education.

 

[Jaylee]

I think it’s all about being reasonable @James2002 .

Years ago a group of us were in Edinburgh celebrating new year.
The bars were rammed to capacity & there was security not allowing people in.

Any hooo. My wife got “caught short” & she approached the pub doorman with a “request.”
The guy was an absolute gentleman. He explained due to safety reasons they couldn’t allow any more in.
Then said to my wife. “Looks like someone just left, I can only allow one in…”

 

[James2002]

I think it’s all about being reasonable @James2002 .

Years ago a group of us were in Edinburgh celebrating new year.
The bars were rammed to capacity & there was security not allowing people in.

Any hooo. My wife got “caught short” & she approached the pub doorman with a “request.”
The guy was an absolute gentleman. He explained due to safety reasons they couldn’t allow any more in.
Then said to my wife. “Looks like someone just left, I can only allow one in…”

Ah that's great. I do find way more often than not people will always be kind. Just seems to be the odd one likes to be a bit difficult lets say.

 

[Jaylee]

Ah that's great. I do find way more often than not people will always be kind. Just seems to be the odd one likes to be a bit difficult lets say.

I think unfortunately.

You had a run in with a pedant?

The thing is. By just one simple act of letting it go & “helping a brother out.”
They could have gained the custom? Or at least a positive experience for a future return as one….
It costs nothing.

Remember, you had one member of staff without quibble point the direction of the amenities..
I’m confident the “jobs worth” giving a hard time, looked worse than you did..

The pedantic call outer never looks great.

 

[James2002]

I think unfortunately.

You had a run in with a pedant?

The thing is. By just one simple act of letting it go & “helping a brother out.”
They could have gained the custom? Or at least a positive experience for a future return as one….
It costs nothing.

Remember, you had one member of staff without quibble point the direction of the amenities..
I’m confident the “jobs worth” giving a hard time, looked worse than you did..

The pedantic call outer never looks great.

Oh definitley. And I drive past the town often, so if they were kind I definitley would have made the stop for a coffee. I also like to think that maybe they were just having a rough shift.

Yes, catching a glance at the customers faces, they didn't seem amused, so I'm sure from their view I came out on the better side hopefully.

 

[Jaylee]

Oh definitley. And I drive past the town often, so if they were kind I definitley would have made the stop for a coffee. I also like to think that maybe they were just having a rough shift.

Yes, catching a glance at the customers faces, they didn't seem amused, so I'm sure from their view I came out on the better side hopefully.

I think you did. Certainly more appealed at the job’s worth pedant..

I’ve worked in customer service.
Seen some strange stuff. Someone simply requiring their dignity when in a “spot?”
Directions to the staff loos. Drop my name if you get questioned… I’ll deal with it later..

If nothing was reported more than a flushed cistern & a wash of hands. No issue.

 

[WhippetyGirl]

I regularly need to 'use the facilities' and sometimes even staff toilets in shops. I have a 'Just Can’t Wait' card from Bladder and Bowel UK which normally does the job.

Available free from https://www.bbuk.org.uk/just-cant-wait-cards/

 

[LancsCarol]

Hello Everyone,

I have had insulin-dependant diabetes going on 21 years now and I'm sure many of you will understand that burning need to find a toilet when your glucose levels are just that tad bit high. Unfortunately I fell victim to this whilst driving across the UK today and stopped in what seemed to be a lovely eatery to use their facilities. Upon entering, I asked one member of staff if I could please use their toilet and without need of an explanation she simply pointed me in the right direction. Great! However, as I was leaving, another member of staff, assuming managerial due to their high horse shouted 'excuse me'. Now the whole cafe is looking at me and this bloke having a stare down. He proceeded to call me 'rude' and mockingly asked if I saw a public services sign on the door. Now, I'm not one for confrontation so I apologised and explained my circumstances. This chap then proceeded to say it would've been fine if I had explained it before (which I did to the nice member of staff), however, apparently this explanation wasn't as fine now, as he continued to belittle me in front of all of his lovely customers. I even offered to buy a drink, nope not good enough for ol' matey. So I ended up apologising and heading on my way.

I am certainly not one to complain, however, instances such as this have unforunately happened innumerous times in my life and I just felt like venting about this one. I personally believe Diabetes is often overlooked or people don't understand that a 'hidden' disease is as much an illness as any other. However, it will not stop me asking individuals to use their facilities as it only happens 1% of the time, but that 1% does always grind my gears!

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You can just show them the notification badge that comes with the lanyard, which you can personalise before buying from the website