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How do I help?

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concerned86

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Hi, my name is Emma and I'm here to find out how to help my neighbour.

I will state that I am completely blind on this subject, I honestly don't have a clue.

My neighbour has Type 2 diabetes, takes Metformin, is unable (also kinda refuses) to exercise to a good standard, is obese and from what I've read on a few site, eats mainly what she's not supposed too.

There are a few things I'd like to know. For exmple, how does eating roughly half a tin of Quality Streets count as self control (Pre-medication) and really what does "being allowed certain types of sugar" mean?

What are the main things that she should stay away from?
What can I do to help her? Conversation and advice wise?

Help.
 
It is my experience that you cannot help a person to good health, only they can choose to go there.
It sounds like your neighbour has an idea what is helpful but does not want to go there. Leading by example seems to be the best option and lecturing might be the worst.
In a way, you would probably help them as you would an addict. Do not enable them by giving them food items you know to be unhelpful for their condition. Refuse politely to eat the same unhelpful foods if offered by the person as they often need to complicity from others to make their "habit" seem OK.
Alison
 
Hi Emma and welcome to the forum. :) Your neighbour is lucky to live next door to someone who cares like you do. To help you to understand how to help your neighbour if she will let you, here is some basic information on managing diabetes the forum monitors give out to new members. I'm afraid your neighbour is not looking after herself at all well at the moment and also probably knows she is doing it all wrong so you may find it difficult to help her. Be patient with her and she may appreciate your help and understand in spite of initial resistance. Good luck and I hope you can make a difference. :)

Here is the advice we usually give to newly diagnosed diabetics. We hope that these few ideas gained through experience help you to gain control and give you some understanding of Diabetes. This forum doesn't always follow the recommended dietary advice, you have to work out what works for you as we are all different.

It's not just 'sugars' you need to avoid, diabetes is an inability to process glucose properly. Carbohydrate converts, in the body, to glucose. So it makes sense to reduce the amount of carbohydrate that you eat which includes sugars.

This is NOT a low carb diet suggestion, just a reduction in your intake of carbohydrate. You have to decide yourself how much of a reduction will keep your blood glucose levels in control.

The main carbs to avoid OR reduce are the complex or starchy carbohydrates such as bread, potatoes, pasta, rice, starchy root veg and also any flour based products. The starchy carbs all convert 100% to glucose in the body and raise the blood sugar levels significantly.

If you are on Insulin you may find that reducing the carb intake also means that you can reduce your dose of insulin. This can help you to keep weight gain down as Insulin tends to make you put on weight and eventually cause insulin resistance. This should be done slowly so as not to cause hypos.

The way to find out how different foods affect you is to do regular daily testing and keep a food diary for a couple of weeks. If you test just before eating, then two hours after eating, you will see the effect of certain foods on your blood glucose levels. Some foods, which are slow acting carbohydrates, are absorbed more slowly so you may need to test three or even four hours later to see the effect that these have on your blood glucose levels.

Buy yourself a carb counter book (you can get these on-line) and you will be able to work out how much carbs you are eating, when you test, the reading two hours after should be roughly the same as the before eating reading, if it is then that meal was fine, if it isn’t then you need to check what you have eaten and think about reducing the portion size of carbs.

When you are buying products check the total carbohydrate content, this includes the sugar content. Do not just go by the amount of sugar on the packaging as this is misleading to a diabetic.


As for a tester, try asking the nurse/doctor and explain that you want to be proactive in managing your own diabetes and therefore need to test so that you can see just how foods affect your blood sugar levels. Hopefully this will work ! Sometimes they are not keen to give Type 2’s the strips on prescription, (in the UK) but you can but try!!

If you are an Insulin user in theory you should have no problem getting test strips.

The latest 2010 NICE guidelines for Bg levels are as follows:
Fasting (waking).......between 4 - 7 mmol/l........(Type 1 & 2)
2 hrs after meals......no more than 8.5 mmol/l.....( Type 2)

2hrs after meals....... no more than 9 mmol/l ......(Type 1)

If you are able to keep the post meal numbers lower, so much the better.

It also helps if you can do 30 minutes moderate exercise a day. It doesn't have to be strenuous.

The above is just general advice and it is recommended that you discuss with your HCP before making any changes. You can also ask questions on the forum on anything that is not clear.

Sue/Ken.
Click to expand...
 
Hi Emma
i think you should ask your friend to see a Dr .This sounds like a typical case of denial . But your friend has to make a start by seeing a Dr. This would give your friend a reality check and possibly a shock enough to get back on the wagon . :D
JF.
 
if she is in denial then telling her directly what she 'ought' to do may actually drive her further away from turning things around - depends in what state she is in in her own mind.
However you could perhaps talk about healthy eating in terms of yourself. Eg say that you had heard that the diet recommended for diabetes is extremely good for you (which is true) and therefore you want to understand why it is good and what you should be doing in your own diet to become healthy. That might help her confront some of her own misunderstandings/problems with diet without it feeling like an attack?

re: the different types of sugar, things like fruit sugar are slightly easier to metabolise because they are slower acting. HOWEVER they still contain carbohydrates, and believe you me, tins of quality street don't contain fruit sugar - they contain honest-to-goodness blood-glucose-up-into-the-sky kind of sugar!
 
Thank you everyone.

I understand that she may be in denial. I can't imagine the news went down well when she was told in the first place.

I don't mean to sound like I'm in to do nothing but insult the woman but she can drive me a little crazy at times.

As for the exercise I've tried encouraging her to buy herself a mobility walker as she relies on a mobility scooter to get herself around town and back. The downside is that she is disabled and as I mentioned obese. So she has issues about people seeing her out of her home or even on her cart. From what I can tell lately though she's going ahead with getting the walker, so soon she should be on her feet for longer periods of time. Which I hope will, in turn help with the people issues.

I've also started to refuse any food she gives me that I feel is unsuitable for her, however, I'm still not sure how to go about asking her the dreaded question... Is it suitable for you?

My biggest worry is that she just doesn't care, I mean, I can see it's sunk in... But I would've thought that information like that would kick start an overdrive into healthy eating and living? Or am I just assuming that's what I would do in her situation?
I am concerned that she's going to wait until it gets worse before she seriously does anything about it.
 
I hate to say this, Emma, but being obese and disabled and having such a poor self-image of herself as your neighbour obviously has, can easily lead to depression in a person who is isolated. A diagnosis of diabetes may be the final straw to her - "I've done this to myself and I'm going to die anyway, so what the heck! No-one will miss me." Instead of kicking her into doing something, acceptng the diagnosis can have exactly the opposite effect - "there's no point to anything".

You are obviously doing a great deal for her, but make sure that you bolster her self-image as well. Give her the idea that she is of benefit to you, that you value her friendship/advice and enjoy her company. Could you take her out for the occasional short trip when the weather is better? Something to look forward to always helps. Encourage her to sit outside, too, and get the sun on her skin - boost the old Vitamin D levels!

I think you're wonderful to be putting so much thought and effort in to helping your neighbour, and you seem to be doing it so tactfully! I'm impressed! If she's anything like me, a hint of nagging would finish off the whole tin of Quality Street! It's a lot of 'giving' on your part at the moment, but it's a great thing that you are doing.

You could try suggesting low-carb for weight loss, if the conversation goes that way, without even mentioning diabetes. It will work on both counts!

Let us know how she - and you - get on.

Viv :D
 
:D

I've made little headway since logging on last, however I have managed to ask the dreaded question once or twice. The talks about getting out and about are becoming more frequent and (thankfully) with the weather getting better, trips outdoors seem to be happening more often.

I've noticed the main conversation is food, mainly how bad the microwave "healthy eating" meals are. I've also noticed that they seem to be mostly pasta meals. But I though that pasta was one of those ingredients that needs to be limited due to the carbohydrate content?

To be fair, she's stopped taking sugar in her tea and coffee, everything treat wise is low-sugar and in limited supply.

I have built the courage to question her about the meds, as well as doing a little online research myself, mainly as an attempt to get the ball rolling on the whole thing. But it didn't work sadly. It seems she's not ready to open up to that yet.

As for the depression, I am well aware of her being depressed, it's not obvious to outsiders really but I know some of the signs that are similar to others. I'm hoping, as said before, that after getting herself a walker the confidence will rise.

I know I may never fully understand or even know exactly how she feels. Sometimes it feels like I should just put my foot down and tell her exactly how I feel and what I think she should be doing, demanding almost, but she's a fully grown woman and I'm basically young enough to be her daughter, so it wouldn't happen out of respect.

It's just starting to get a little frustrating, mainly I suppose, because I still don't know much about her exact situation.

Still, I shall persevere!

(Any hints and tips would be greatly appreciated!)
 
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