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How do u feel right now ?

N

NowClosed11

Well-Known Member
Messages
348
Location
london
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
I wish I could sleep ... But am losing it at mo - I just can not seem to get happy- nothing I do at mo is Woking

And all I can think of is nothing
... I try an look inside an I see nothing - hear nothing and for last week- kinda not feeling anything - sh&t even chocolot and sex don't rase an eyebrow at mo

And now as I don't have a D team - been a masive argument With them and me- so they just discharge me...... So if u can not win a fight u cheat - anyway that's not what bothers me ....

In fact I don't what it is that is bothering me...
Is it the fact the RA has left me unable to do any good sports or unable to stand for hours at time dj'ing - use chair and stuck on radio ....and no dancing and ...***
Or that am still stuck on a fixed rate of 12 units a day (bring 1u/10g carbs is 3bg) so only have intake of 120g carbs a day and always so bloody tired ....
Maybe it's the fact that I just still after five months, accepted it... I mean ... I got basics on how not to kill Ya self and best way to keep trim ( eat an no insulin seems to work for me ) still only 10:4st was 13 before ...maybe

Oh sh&t I don't know
All I know is I am no longer me .... I feel like he died in the ward once He was told
Now this thing I see each day in the mirror ( by way took that down two weeks ago ) I wanna find a baseball bat and drive in his face - ruddy hard and I know why I want to and I know why is stupid
But make me angry to see my own face at mo

I know u guys are used to my rants on here .... But I think this is my human traffic ( film ) moment and I think it's going to go ether way ....

I normally laff in face of this stuff make a joke and laff at it

But this person who is left
Don't see the funny much more
But gets angry - hates with pure boiled blood and would happily watch the world burn around him

So here after all this **** I have just wrote and will fully regrade in morning
But sometime u just have words
And here is some

What a load of bolly'ericks that lot was
An as this took over 49 min to get out of me
Now am
Tired
Night all
 
Hugs. Thinking of you.
 
I wonder if getting discharged from the diabetes service has triggered a low mood. Maybe seeing your GP or the DN at the medical practice might help you feel a bit more supported.
 
I agree with catlady, you need support, it's good to come here and off load, but ultimately you need to get back on side with your team and eat some humble pie. They are there to do their job and although you now face a lifetime of injections you still need their knowledge and guidance to stay on track. Anger is a by product of grief and it sounds like your suffering from what I had when I was diagnosed, I have a daughter and felt I was failing her as I was getting cross at everything, I tried pills and meditation and altho the pills helped for a while it only masked my feelings, medititation gave me back a bit of my old self and I knew I could cope better. Your not alone I think anyone reading your post will relate to how you are feeling, hope you are feeling better when you read this x
 
CatLadyNZ said:
I wonder if getting discharged from the diabetes service has triggered a low mood. Maybe seeing your GP or the DN at the medical practice might help you feel a bit more supported.
Click to expand...
nar...been in this mood for a few weeks now ...and to be honest i been hiding it ...however it just all came out in the post ( i knew i would regret it as said in post lol) but was not the D team thing that bust the back....i meet a gent who is a T1 as well...first i have proper meet and had chat with ...and when he asked me what rate was on and i told him ...he looked at me as if i was joking ...5u-5u-7uF and 7u morning and night slow ( injections) then when he told me tat his daily amount is near 160 units to eat .....that as it.... heart went bang mind went --"screw this for a game of laffs"
i dont want to be like that - you could see in his face that he was beaten - turns out he had depression for 20 years of the 30 he been T1
why the FeC@ would i want to hang about if that was to be the out come of T1s .....
and the thing with the D team ....was not my fault ...i just reacted to a impossible moment of pure bloody middeness by them
( they wont hear the fact - and true as GP has sent em letter saying its true. with evidence...that i have a control over my body that is rather unique ....but that has come from years of Jiu-jitsu - NinJitsu and Gymnastics ....i can tell you my BG within .03 of a margin now...i can move any part of my body ...i know my sodding body !!!! way better than any dam Doc or D team member
so when i told them i was having a hypa honeymoon and wont last more than 5 days ....tey just totaly dismissed me...and said i would have to wait another 6 months for DAFNE an booted me off it as i could not know that !...
and the course was not for another 2 weeks !!! but still now have to wait ...so some hand picked words from the vault...... and they took that as me saying i wanted never to come back...in fact what i said was i dont see a point in coming back unless i am on DAFNE.....yer ...am some other words too..... but as this was the 2nd one they had cancelled on me..... i lost it with em ...so they discharged me
....... i even had the data to show them after that, i was right and that my prediction of levels where right and GP backed this up .....but work will not have me back till i do DAF...and i dont want to wait 6 more months to go back to work... ( other meds stuff but this is what is preventing me form going back to work )


so yer .... i think the term is fiscally challenged ...an why i got my back up


so no ...there will be no going to eat humble pie.... i did not bake the pie nor am i going to eat it

sorry ...hence the name i can live up too .....Mr Blooming Grumpy...thought, still...no one had got the name Mr "B" "G"...blood sugar Blooming Grumpy !?!>...waste of a good name lol
 
Last edited by a moderator:
MrBloominggrumpy said:
do you mean district nurse by DN ?
Click to expand...
I meant diabetes nurse at the medical practice, if there is one. I don't know what kind of services there are where you live.

I think you are entitled to support... from somewhere. Do you live in a place where there is another diabetes team you could be referred to? Discharging someone because of a disagreement is not on.

Have you told your GP about your low moods? He might be able to do something to help.
 
CatLadyNZ said:
I meant diabetes nurse at the medical practice, if there is one. I don't know what kind of services there are where you live.

I think you are entitled to support... from somewhere. Do you live in a place where there is another diabetes team you could be referred to? Discharging someone because of a disagreement is not on.

Have you told your GP about your low moods? He might be able to do something to help.
Click to expand...
I have asked my gp if there is another near me ...but not sure if is ....
Gp is a bit pants ...she only cares for type twos really as knows nowt of t1 but she dose back me up an help us ..an no ..no DN at my gp s....
Thank you ..for comment thought ....I am dealing with it ...but mirror staying down for now
 
When I was fed up with my diabetes team, my GP practice took me into their care, even though they usually only do Type 2s. That can do you for a while, until you can get your feelings under control. Maybe for years, as I did.

I agree that your martial arts is probably making a huge difference. Basically it burns so much in the way of carbs that you may need only tiny doses of insulin. So you may appear to be in the honeymoon period, even though in fact you are not. So in a way, your consultant may be right, which he may know from blood tests. But you are right, because you know from your own testing that you hardly need any insulin at all.

I also had this experience with my diabetes team when I was young. And I realize now that it was also because I did martial arts (and I went everywhere by bike). Basically, diabetes teams concentrate on carbs and insulin. They never even seem to ASK about sports and exercise. Or if they do think about it, they don't ask enough questions, and they assume you do half an hour's brisk walking a day, or something very "moderate" like that.

What I suggest is that you get your hands on Think Like a Pancreas by Scheiner and then, especially for you, Diabetic Athlete's Handbook by Sheri Colberg. that will be brilliant for you. Then you can collect all the evidence you need to prove your low requirements for insulin (you would record, insulin, carbs and exactly how much exercise you take on which days etc) and either go on to look after yourself under your GP, but with more skill, or go back to to the clinic and show them. Actually, diabetic clinics need to know this stuff. And they need to spend a lot more time actually asking a whole set of very precise questions about an individual's regime. They just don't do it. And ironically, the diabetics who have the MOST potential to be fit and healthy all their lives can be the very ones who get into the problems with them.
 
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