Hi,
I was looking around for some information, and found this forum, so I hope you can help! My husband has been diabetic since he was six years old, but he still doesn't seem to have great control over it. Before I met him I knew very little about diabetes, so I've read up all I can, and I really think he's keeping things from me. When I ask him about it, he gets angry and won't talk and says "now isn't the time", but there never seems to BE a right time to talk about it.
What confirmed my suspicions even more was a phone call I got from the diabetic nurse when he was away working. As she wasn't able to speak to him, she told me she was concerned that he doesn't seem to be controlling his diabetes well, especially considering how long he's had it. She asked me if he had a lot of hypos, and when I told her no (he has small ones occasionally, but hasn't had a big one for a few years now, and when he does feel funny he'll have some sugar water and then he's ok. But still, it's not all the time), she was even more unhappy as it seemed to confirm what she suspected and said he wasn't 'ok'. I told her she would be able to get hold of him on his way home the next day, and I gave her his mobile number, but according to my husband she didn't call back, and I honestly don't know whether to believe him or not, and when I told him what she told me, he didn't get mad, but seemed a little worried that I'd told her about him not having many hypos because he seemed to think they'd take him in, and he didn't want to miss work.
I suffer from ME (which I've only finally just started to get proper treatment for) so am not able to work as much as I'd like, so having enough money to make sure we always have enough food is a struggle, but I still try to make sure he eats properly, even if some days we don't have a lot. I always put him first because I know he needs it more, and I worry if he has not eaten properly.
He tells me that with his work (he works in show security) he'd rather his sugars were high because it's a stressful job, but I know that's not good for him at all, but he seems to think when we can't afford much, it's ok to buy cheaper, sweet things and live off those, because then at least he's not low. The stupid thing is I KNOW he knows better than that, having had it most of his life (he's nearly 28 now), but he just won't let me talk to him about it. Now he just seems depressed most of the time and there always seems to be something wrong with him. He gets quite a lot of pain, but he just puts it down to this, that and the other, but sometimes I barely have to touch him before he's yelling out that it hurt.
He takes levemir and novorapid, but he hasn't taken the novorapid for ages, saying he was told he doesn't need it anymore, which I think is c**p, and it's still on his up-to-date prescriptions. I doubt the doctor would prescribe something he didn't need. He also hardly ever checks his blood-sugar.
I'm guessing it's the lack of control he has over it that's making him snappy and defensive. He's usually a lovely guy, but if I try and talk to him about his diabetes, he completely changes, and now he's quite short-tempered.
When he's next at work I'm going to call the nurse myself and see what we can do. I can't see him willingingly going to an appointment that I've arranged for him, especially if I've done it behind his back (which I'd feel bad about doing), but he also won't go any other way unless it's his routine appointment, which he probably won't even let me come to.
When things have settled and we're earning more (the financial mess came when we moved away and the job he was originally supposed to have fell through), we want to try and start a family, but as much as I'm longing to be a mum, I told him I refuse to until he's sorted himself out, because if I can accidentally hurt him just by brushing past him, and the little things wind him up, how's he going to handle a baby with its crying and unintentional hair-pulling, and the child wanting to play and jumping on him?
He knows full well what the risks are, and how much long-term damage he could be doing to himself (he currently has his eyes lasered every few months because of blod clots). I don't moan at him, and instead try and talk to him maturely and calmly, as I've always done, and he knows I worry, but honestly, how can I get through to him? What's the best course of action?
Thanks for listening, and hopefully someone can give me some advice
I was looking around for some information, and found this forum, so I hope you can help! My husband has been diabetic since he was six years old, but he still doesn't seem to have great control over it. Before I met him I knew very little about diabetes, so I've read up all I can, and I really think he's keeping things from me. When I ask him about it, he gets angry and won't talk and says "now isn't the time", but there never seems to BE a right time to talk about it.
What confirmed my suspicions even more was a phone call I got from the diabetic nurse when he was away working. As she wasn't able to speak to him, she told me she was concerned that he doesn't seem to be controlling his diabetes well, especially considering how long he's had it. She asked me if he had a lot of hypos, and when I told her no (he has small ones occasionally, but hasn't had a big one for a few years now, and when he does feel funny he'll have some sugar water and then he's ok. But still, it's not all the time), she was even more unhappy as it seemed to confirm what she suspected and said he wasn't 'ok'. I told her she would be able to get hold of him on his way home the next day, and I gave her his mobile number, but according to my husband she didn't call back, and I honestly don't know whether to believe him or not, and when I told him what she told me, he didn't get mad, but seemed a little worried that I'd told her about him not having many hypos because he seemed to think they'd take him in, and he didn't want to miss work.
I suffer from ME (which I've only finally just started to get proper treatment for) so am not able to work as much as I'd like, so having enough money to make sure we always have enough food is a struggle, but I still try to make sure he eats properly, even if some days we don't have a lot. I always put him first because I know he needs it more, and I worry if he has not eaten properly.
He tells me that with his work (he works in show security) he'd rather his sugars were high because it's a stressful job, but I know that's not good for him at all, but he seems to think when we can't afford much, it's ok to buy cheaper, sweet things and live off those, because then at least he's not low. The stupid thing is I KNOW he knows better than that, having had it most of his life (he's nearly 28 now), but he just won't let me talk to him about it. Now he just seems depressed most of the time and there always seems to be something wrong with him. He gets quite a lot of pain, but he just puts it down to this, that and the other, but sometimes I barely have to touch him before he's yelling out that it hurt.
He takes levemir and novorapid, but he hasn't taken the novorapid for ages, saying he was told he doesn't need it anymore, which I think is c**p, and it's still on his up-to-date prescriptions. I doubt the doctor would prescribe something he didn't need. He also hardly ever checks his blood-sugar.
I'm guessing it's the lack of control he has over it that's making him snappy and defensive. He's usually a lovely guy, but if I try and talk to him about his diabetes, he completely changes, and now he's quite short-tempered.
When he's next at work I'm going to call the nurse myself and see what we can do. I can't see him willingingly going to an appointment that I've arranged for him, especially if I've done it behind his back (which I'd feel bad about doing), but he also won't go any other way unless it's his routine appointment, which he probably won't even let me come to.
When things have settled and we're earning more (the financial mess came when we moved away and the job he was originally supposed to have fell through), we want to try and start a family, but as much as I'm longing to be a mum, I told him I refuse to until he's sorted himself out, because if I can accidentally hurt him just by brushing past him, and the little things wind him up, how's he going to handle a baby with its crying and unintentional hair-pulling, and the child wanting to play and jumping on him?
He knows full well what the risks are, and how much long-term damage he could be doing to himself (he currently has his eyes lasered every few months because of blod clots). I don't moan at him, and instead try and talk to him maturely and calmly, as I've always done, and he knows I worry, but honestly, how can I get through to him? What's the best course of action?
Thanks for listening, and hopefully someone can give me some advice
