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Hypoglycaemia. No support from spouse.

W

waj

Newbie
Messages
3
Location
Hambleton
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Pump
i have had type 1 diabetes for 53 years and am on an insulin pump. I am having a problem with my husband and the times when I have a bad hypo attack. I keep telling my husband that I do not intend to be obstructive or awkward but I cannot help it when I am hypo.
My husband says that I do it on purpose and should not be like this. It is always my fault.
I have a bad hypo only once per month but my husband is getting very angry and just shouts at me instead of trying to help. He is now almost ready to hit me, which is quite frightening. I think I have enough to worry about when I am hypo and should not have to worry about his abusive ways.
I have shown him all the write ups on hypos but he doesn't agree and says it is just an excuse.
I have tries explaining to him that all I need is comforting and a nice bar of chocolate or similar. When he is shouting I just back off, which makes me worse.
What to do????
 
W
waj said:
i have had type 1 diabetes for 53 years and am on an insulin pump. I am having a problem with my husband and the times when I have a bad hypo attack. I keep telling my husband that I do not intend to be obstructive or awkward but I cannot help it when I am hypo.
My husband says that I do it on purpose and should not be like this. It is always my fault.
I have a bad hypo only once per month but my husband is getting very angry and just shouts at me instead of trying to help. He is now almost ready to hit me, which is quite frightening. I think I have enough to worry about when I am hypo and should not have to worry about his abusive ways.
I have shown him all the write ups on hypos but he doesn't agree and says it is just an excuse.
I have tries explaining to him that all I need is comforting and a nice bar of chocolate or similar. When he is shouting I just back off, which makes me worse.
What to do????
Click to expand...
Were you diabetic when you first met or did it only develop afterwards?
Frankly, it shows a remarkable lack of understanding either way. I am not sure what your answer is or that you'd like what I would suggest. How long have you been together.
Does he ever come with you when you go to medical appointments? Could you ask the doc to explain the facts to him.
Do you think he could be frightened by your hypos and that anger is his way of dealing with it?
Has he been abusive in other ways and over other issues?
 
Gosh this must be really scary for you. I think there are a few things that stand out for me in your post. I wonder why you are having so many hypos?
As for your husband, I agree with the post above when asking if he attends your appointments, could he? would he?
I worry also, you have said that when you are having a hypo he comes close to hitting you, not only are you at risk from him but also the hypo as you may not have what you need to get out of it (i.e. help from someone to get you the glucose you need - as I suspect you are not so able to get this for yourself).
I think it would be worth talking to your GP about all of the issues, you have to talk to someone who can help you, you can't do this on your own. Your GP should be able to refer you on to the right support based on what you talk about.
I wish you all the best, take care.
 
Is hubby good and reasonable at other times?

I know (never posted this info before)... Prior to hubby 2 I lived with an unpleasant guy... He threatened that if I had a hypo he would just inject me more and finish me off!!! And nobody would ever know he had done it.

This threat led to a friend in police force offering me a safe house etc.. Long story but with my mum's help I escaped...

Now, it may be entitely different for you.. But someone threatening and eventually not helping you when you need assistance is not good....

I still classify this "ex" as a psychopath...but my experience is probably very extreme...I have never heard of another T1 to experience this...

However, it leads me to say that something else is wrong....and for your health and wellbeing... Don't accept that this is normal behaviour.. It isn't.

I have the most wonderful hubby of 20 years and a partner before of 12 years and never had them scare the shi* out of me when hypo. They have kept me safe and looked after me.

I haven't got answers for you without knowing your situation but I suspect that tgere is more to this on his side...
 
My husband is really good all the time although he easily gets stressed. I already had diabetes when we met so he is used to it as we have been married for 48 years.
It's only in the last couple of years that he has got so bad.
I am hoping that he will get less stressed at some time, which may help with his temper.
Thanks for all your help and replies.
 
One rule .... Never share your life with someone your scared of ... @donnellysdogs my wife like you escaped a somewhat violent first marriage ... Its not an easy thing to do leaving someone who can be unpredictable when you need them most. But think waj needs to sit her hubby down and tell him straight his behaviour is not acceptable. Please don't say ...it's not his fault..he was stressed .... It's you that needs his support ..not the other way around. Or is he hiding a problem from you ?
 
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