I feel like people feel pity for me HELP

rebetic

Active Member
Messages
37
nothing makes me angrier than pity like for gods sake its not necessary at all its not like it will fix my problems or even make me feel better , it hits harder when it comes from your loved ones , i’m really over my problems + diabetes i even feel that it made me appreciate the ability of being alive and feel things anyways usually no one feel sorry for me when they can relate to what i feel but they pity me for having diabetes cause they cant feel what i feel i know i cant control what they feel about me but i can control the way i react its just that i dont know how . I feel like i really need help with this cause now im trying to hide my diabetes even when i need to check my bg or take a shot or even treat a low and thats not good at all
Even when the closest people to me are around i feel like I’m making them uncomfortable by doing diabetes related things
My sister made it so clear that she feels that diabetes doesn’t make her feel bad for me and she feels like im strong and shes proud of me but i still feel like she finds it weird and i wish no one finds out about it which is impossible .

I seriously need your advise and thanks for reading
 
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M

Member496333

Guest
I don't get that sense in general, but what does amuse me is when folk reference my diet as "restrictive" and seem apologetic that I can't eat the alleged bounty of delights that they enjoy. The truth is my diet is very far from restrictive to me. I eat everything they [think they] can't with gay abandon, and I don't want what they eat.

I have a few keto/carnivore friends who have seen the change in me and adopted the same lifetsyle, but the majority simply cannot comprehend a life without crisps, crackers, bread, pasta and wine gums. Just the thought of it so alien to them that they cannot fathom a world without it. Mind blown, kind of thing.

So yes I suppose I get pity in that regard, but I just smile and carry on. You can explain stuff to people but you can't understand it for them. C'est la vie :cool:
 
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geefull

Well-Known Member
Messages
2,569
Type of diabetes
Type 2 (in remission!)
Treatment type
Diet only
Hi @rebetic :) - sounds to me like you have entered a stage on your journey where the storm has calmed a bit and you can see sunshine in the world. Your family are behind you on the journey but because they can't truly know how you feel they can only be taught by what you show them.
Perhaps thinking that you are their teacher and example in this would help, if you show them every day that you're celebrating life, diabetes is not a 'thing' and that it is only a part of your daily life that mindset will gradually become their new norm, it does take time though especially if you have struggled in the past.
 
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Tophat1900

Well-Known Member
Messages
2,407
Type of diabetes
Type 3c
Treatment type
Other
Dislikes
Uncooked bacon
I used to do similar things diabetes related and felt uncomfortable because I just wanted to be accepted as normal like everyone else, but it got to the point where I simply just stopped worrying what others think (Regardless of who they are). If they want to watch me check my bg level then fine, go ahead and watch, but you don't have. They have a choice. It did take time to get to this point.

Normal for me, is now doing what I have to do to keep healthy. If people think it's sad I can't eat what they eat, then they are mistaken. I have no desire to eat what is typically eaten by a lot of people. @Jim Lahey touched on the diet aspect rather well.

It's not like I can't do things that others do, I just require a bit of monitoring to make sure things are stable. Like I said, it took some time to make progress, but it's worth it to get to where you want to be. It sounds like you are making some progress and facing up to the obstacles along the way. Just take it all one day at a time.
 

NicoleC1971

BANNED
Messages
3,451
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Pump
nothing makes me angrier than pity like for gods sake its not necessary at all its not like it will fix my problems or even make me feel better , it hits harder when it comes from your loved ones , i’m really over my problems + diabetes i even feel that it made me appreciate the ability of being alive and feel things anyways usually no one feel sorry for me when they can relate to what i feel but they pity me for having diabetes cause they cant feel what i feel i know i cant control what they feel about me but i can control the way i react its just that i dont know how . I feel like i really need help with this cause now im trying to hide my diabetes even when i need to check my bg or take a shot or even treat a low and thats not good at all
Even when the closest people to me are around i feel like I’m making them uncomfortable by doing diabetes related things
My sister made it so clear that she feels that diabetes doesn’t make her feel bad for me and she feels like im strong and shes proud of me but i still feel like she finds it weird and i wish no one finds out about it which is impossible .

I seriously need your advise and thanks for reading
Hi. Good to hear that you aren't pitying yourself and perhaps are getting a great self image of someone who's strong precisely becuase they've struggled though some isses.
Don't wobble because some people haven't caught up with how you now see yourself. You can't change how they think. All you can do is be a lighthouse to show them how positively you're living your life.
I have had issues a while ago too and my dad continues to view me as someone vulnerable which hurts because I feel he is taking far too long to see me how I see myself.
Then there is the friend who told me that she rather her child had what he has (severe and disabling cerebal palsy) compared to diabetes! This is because she had a friend who died of a diabetic coma.
Your sister gets it. So will the rest or maybe some will never do so but this can't change how you see yourself.
 
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