I have screwed up..................

[xendistar]

Had to go for my annual eye test which included a retinopathy test a weeks ago today, result came back yesterday and I have background retinopathy. Now in its self it is not to bad (I understand what it means etc.) but I feel like somebody has kicked me in the delicates, I actually feel worse about this than I did being told I have diabetes (type 2) 15 months ago.

I felt I had managed my first years of diabetes quite well, I had a check up in November and everything came back OK (no eye test that was done in Jan 2015 which was ok) but it is not good when I have put on 5kg since November.

I know I have nobody else to blame but myself, but I have made a big effort to eat correctly since my diagnosis and compared to what I used to eat I can honestly say I am (at least I thought I was) eating correctly but after this I don't know. I am wondering if it was worth the effort (yes I know it was but I do really wonder), I just feel empty.

For most of last year I struggled with tendinitis of the achilles which was eventually traced to taking Simvastin, stopped taking Simvastin and within a couple of weeks my achilles was 100% better. I am still suffering with flu\colds which started on Christmas eve so I have done virtually no exercising.

Doctor want me to get join one of the diet groups, Weight Watchers\Slimming World etc. I used to go to Slimming World pre diabetes but dropped out after my weight stalled and I was going no where. I can't honestly can not see slimming world helping when they push baked potato’s (which I love and have not had since being diagnosed) pasta and rice, is it me or am I being negative?

At the moment I know I have to loose weight but I just can't seem to find the way to do it.

 

[Liam1955]

Hello @xendistar - I have had 15 Retinal Screenings over a period of 15 years and all except 1 result stated I had background Retinopathy - and that was 2 years as go. But, now I don't have it anymore. Taking control of your Diabetes is in your hands - you need to test your blood sugars daily: before and after meals to check the effect that foods have on your blood sugars. Foods such as: White Bread, White Rice, Pasta and Potatoes ought to be replaced by Wholegrain varieties because they are broken down slower. Portion size too is important - smaller portions are better. On This Forum there is information about Foods and NUTRITION that you could read.

 

[muzza3]

Don't be too hard on yourself. Take that disappointment and use it to drive yourself forward. I totally agree with Liam that you need to take control of your diabetes something that we all come to realise. You don't mention blood testing and this is where the improvements all start. Use this website for any questions you have as I have found it to be a great resource

 

[Liam1955]

@xendistar - Also I forgot to say (like @muzza3 has already said) use this forum to ask questions now matter how minor you may think they to be. Everyone on here is helpful, supportive and friendly - someone will come along and answer.

 

[ickihun]

@xendistar I have been there and once I started seeing good bg levels on my meter and even bad ones it reminded me that my body was reacting to certain foods which don't agree with my diabetic system.
Everyone has different spikes for different foods. Collectively we type 2s have a problem with sugar and other carbs. Our system doesn't like them and these items can cause us harm. Don't eat them if you can, to reduce risk of harm to your eyes and vital organs.
We are all here for you. Fighting the same fight. Some fantastic success stories.
I one day want to be one of them.

 

[amgrundy]

Hi xendistar, I to agree with others on this site, don't let the diabetes rule you , you rule it, that's my philosophy anyway. Do take care of your diet and you will get there in the end, I know it has its ups and downs believe me I have been there too, I just take a deep breathe and either have a cry or get angry with myself then start again. You are never alone we all know what living with Diabetes is like. Only wish the medical profession knew a bit more too.

 

[zand]

I went to Slimming World because my GP referred me. I had 2 x 12 sessions free. Like you I found their diet to be unsuitable so I just went for the weigh-in and started a thread here to help motivate me.

http://www.diabetes.co.uk/forum/threads/help-i-have-so-much-weight-to-lose.55901/

I followed LCHF and lost over 10% of my bodyweight. The Slimming World rep was very pleased, but it wasn't her diet that helped me. It was good to be weighed every week though; that kept me disciplined.

Stop blaming yourself. It's not your fault, we all have blips. Now you've confessed it you can get on with sorting it out. The background retinopathy can get better if you start again right now.

 

[Sean01]

Hi Xendistar.
Formalities/Credentials: T2 diagnosed Oct 15. 50 years old, Also taking Simvastatin. I have joint and tendon problems but for other reasons. Also asthmatic so I have trouble with colds and flue and this can cause blood sugar levels to spike (stress, comfort food and lemsip - cause no end of blood sugar spikes.
Empathy: You paint a bleak picture, but,and this may sound corny and straight out of Batman: We fall down so we can learn to pick ourselves up. 1986 run over, broken leg - prognosis: you may never walk again without a limp. Outcome: returned to playing club rugby as a prop, competed in a Highland Games 2007: torn ligament, on crutches for 3 years. Outcome: LochNess Marathon twice - brave 1st attempt, medal for finishing on the second attempt 2015: diagnosis Type 2. Next day: seriously upset. day after that: I came out fighting .
Suggestion:
1 - stay away from weight watchers. Everytime my wife goes, she comes back bigger.
2 - Not all exercise requires walking/jogging. If you have tendon problems - try swimming.
3- tackle this problem like you would eating an elephant - in small measurable pieces.

My best mate broke his back in 2010 and was told he may never walk again without assistance. He was a fanatical rugby player, so I arranged for him to take his son to Twickenham and do a few drop kicks over the posts (Rugby World July 2012). He did it.
Set yourself some small measurable goals - things were you can see daily improvement - I use a treadmill and measure everything, but swimming will work too. This is not the end of the world, just a new beginning.

Good luck

 

[ladybird64]

Hiya. I felt compelled to answer your post as I'm in a very similar situation with my weight, although the diabetes is pretty well controlled. I have been struggling like mad with the carbs vs cals thing, which you obviously know about too. I lost a lot of weight over a two year period, partially due to low carbing, partially due to serious illness.
The past 18 months have been incredibly tough and I haven't been as vigilant and in the past 6 months, I've gained approx 6/7 kgs - as someone with a binge eating issue, that's really bad news. But I think the way forward - for you and me - is to approach each day with hope that today it will be better, today we can manage to eat the right foods. My family don't eat the way I need to, and that's where I've slipped up, eating the same stuff as them because my mind has been on other things.
I feel empty too, I wouldn't dream of WW or SW, so it's down to me. Let's be mindful of what we are eating, do the best that you can. Motivation is difficult, when mood isn't great, time can be seriously wasted looking for motivation that just won't come. Forget motivation, just get out the front door and walk. 5, 10 mins is something, any exercise is something, will make you feel better too.

Take heart. Be kind to yourself and don't look backwards, concentrate on today.

Lots of luck

 

[Catlady19]

Hi @xendistar, I was diagnosed T2 similar time to you and I am having trouble losing weight too, it just doesn't want to shift! I also keep getting colds/coughs (I have had 3 since September) which push my BGs up and make it harder to exercise.

Out of interest what was your last Hba1c?

 

[Stallen]

I felt bad the first time I was told I had background retinopathy, less so now as over the years my annual check seems to dip in and out of diagnosis of background retinopathy, most years it's ok, then the odd year I get sent a booklet it's been 2 booklets in 7 years last year I got one, previous booklet I had one 4yrs ago this year who knows.