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I just can't do it anymore, it's been nearly 10 years... I have suicidal thoughts

levis95 said:
Hello everyone, I'm newly registered here but I've been following this forum for a while. I don't know where to start. In october, it will be 10 years since I'm a Type 1 Diabetic. I'm 20 years old myself. My whole childhood was nothing but a nightmare. I want to talk to somebody because I'm in that stage of my life where I just can't move on.... The problem is, I would need like 20 pages to write my life story. So what should I do? I don't wanna bore anybody, I want to get a lot of replies.
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Hi there,

I am currently in the same position as you. I've had diabetes for 17 years and I am completely depressed with it. It's very difficult sometimes and I am suicidal a lot with it. I completely know how you feel xx
 
I get some feelings ever now and then but I had my feet checked properly for the first time this month. I have a good healthy supply. Try some walking you would be surprised how good this is for you. I easily do between 10k and 25k steps per day and I am in IT sat down for most of the day.
What I am saying is get the blood pumping down there. Also can also try acupuncture I have had this for other injuries and I swear by it now. It will encourage the blood flow. Stop worrying about things that may be wrong with you and focus on how you can have some fun and get fitter. It's a big world out there.

Nice to see you are feeling more upbeat you had us worried.
 
Hello everybody, some days have passed since my last reply. I'd like to thank you for the positive feedback you have given me, and I feel like posting again..

I feel so bad these days, mentally speaking. I'm in that state of mind again, where my self-esteem is at a very low level. I regret the mistakes I made in life, and I keep looking back. Right now, I feel as if my existence in this world is worthless, because I'm not doing anything good. I'm just poisoning the athmosphere even more.

I hate the fact that my life isn't going the way I wanted it to be, and that most of my dreams have been crushed due to this disease.
 
levis95 said:
Hello everyone, I'm newly registered here but I've been following this forum for a while. I don't know where to start. In october, it will be 10 years since I'm a Type 1 Diabetic. I'm 20 years old myself. My whole childhood was nothing but a nightmare. I want to talk to somebody because I'm in that stage of my life where I just can't move on.... The problem is, I would need like 20 pages to write my life story. So what should I do? I don't wanna bore anybody, I want to get a lot of replies.
Click to expand...

I am 10 years to the day (29th March 2006) and also 20 years old. I have no diabetic friends, did the DAFNE course when I was 17 but nobody else was under the age of 30. I have early stages of retinopathy. I have felt isolated and terrified for as long as I can remember. I've been in and out of therapy since I was 13 and on medication for depression and anxiety since I was 16. I opened up to a close friend who is now researching to understand diabetes, I tell him (as often as I remember) every blood sugar, every injection. Rather than feeling trapped in myself I share everything with him. And I don't feel as alone anymore.

Also I've started using the mySugr app, it has a really clever bolus calculator that makes my doses feel less like a stab in the dark because most of the time it agrees with what I was already thinking!
 
levis95 said:
Hello everybody, some days have passed since my last reply. I'd like to thank you for the positive feedback you have given me, and I feel like posting again..

I feel so bad these days, mentally speaking. I'm in that state of mind again, where my self-esteem is at a very low level. I regret the mistakes I made in life, and I keep looking back. Right now, I feel as if my existence in this world is worthless, because I'm not doing anything good. I'm just poisoning the athmosphere even more.

I hate the fact that my life isn't going the way I wanted it to be, and that most of my dreams have been crushed due to this disease.
Click to expand...
Levis95 Never look at life as a series of mistakes. You make choices some good some could be better. That's how we learn.

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. - Albert Einstein
 
Nuck said:
Levis95 Never look at life as a series of mistakes. You make choices some good some could be better. That's how we learn.

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. - Albert Einstein
Click to expand...


This is on my tea cup I am drinking from - 'It is human to err' Le Corbusier ( 1887 - 1965)
 
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