I Just Can't Do This Anymore, I Quit..

i totally understand, i feel like this often, then feel ok again, then feel like it again, the thought of doing this for rest of eternity it just dosent seem worth it sometimes, then feel all boosted up by something and feel like ive mastered it, to have your brother dieing on top phew, its hard to think of anything to say that could help you, id like to help but i get what your saying and almost agree, yikes someone punch me for saying that please, ok i find that if i throw in the towel and have say large quarter pounder cheese meal and nuggets (last night) i dont enjoy it, ok while im eating it i kinda do but feel pretty ****** afterwards when the bloods go up 10 points, where as i eat healthy (has to be tasty) i feel better so that in itself is therapy, maybee choose your absolute favourite healthy food and eat too much of that, one thing is certain, this will pass and you will feel better, its like ive started running and sometimes i would rather have my teeth pulled out than exercise and sometimes dont, but sometimes just grit my teeth and do it anyway and those are the times i feel at my best afterwards, when i really dont want to do it and really want to stop every step and find the strength to keep going one step after the other, look at this as your darkest days, this means you have brighter days to come, fight through the dark days knowing there is a light somewhere up ahead you just have to reach it, if you give in then your days will only get darker, giving in dosent really make sense in the cold light of day when your heads on straight because you are making things worse for you, go through it, not eating chocolate and drinking coke aint gonna kill you, its all in the mind anyway, its just food, eat it to stay alive, so dont worry about what youve done before, so slap yourself around the face, shake it off and start again from now, we need you to do this for all of us, we need the inspiration of you sitting here in 20 years with all your toes helping new folks get through the same stuff you once did.

Quitting's for losers. Don't give up.

Hi Q007, firstly you are not at all likely to develop T1 diabetes, T2's dont progress from T2 to T1 although some do progress through diet only to oral meds and then onto some sort of injectable med and a few will need to use insulin but that doesnt make them T1's it just means that they are T2's who are now using insulin.

Now onto diet, as others have said not everyone chooses a very low carb diet there are plenty of other ways open to you from simply a less restrictive low carb diet where you still eat potato and rice etc but in smaller portions to a combination of diet and meds.

Diabetic complications happen when bg levels are left out of control for long periods of time they are highly unlikely to occur over a few weeks or months especially if your levels are not totally out of control, if they are then talk to your GP about medication thats what drugs are for :thumbup:

Diabetics who take medication are not second class citizens or loosers they are simply taking advantage of a little help be it simply Metformin through other drugs like Gliclazide or at the other end of the diabetic drug scale, insulin. All these diabetic drugs are there to help and it depends on your individual diabetes as to which drug is right for you. None of us will have the same pancreatic function as each other neither will any of us have a similar amount of insulin resistance so no two T2's are likely to be exactly the same when it comes to diet or medication.

There are people who do very well on a very low carb diet but that way is not for everyone and youre not the first person to realise that it is not for you. You just need to find out what is the right path for you It could be as simple as a less restrictive diet or it may entail some medication but you are not alone and diabetes does not have to lead to every complication under the sun as long as you do something rather than nothing.

Honestly this is not the end of the road for you, I dont low carb, I do restrict the carbs that I eat but I would not call myself a low carber in the same way that some others on the forum do.

Its easy to get sucked into this feeling that you have to low carb and to become obsessive about it, many do, but its not necessary at all and you dont have to low carb unless you want to. The vast majority of well controlled diabetics do so by a combination of sensible diet and meds, and to qualify what I mean by a sensible diet it is one that is balanced and contains all the nutrients vitamins and minerals that your body needs but one that doesnt send your bg levels into orbit by substitution rather than exclusion. Like wholegrain bread for white bread, basmati rice for long grain rice etc and in small manageable portions.

Q007 said:

My brother just died 3 month ago, T1 and a two time amputee. But, my GP told me I will not go from T2 to T1 in my lifespan, it was just after then that I gave up and went back to my old ways.


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Hi Q,

You say that this is when you gave up. Can you tell us what you took from your G.P.'s statement that made you give up? Type2's do not morph into Type1's ever. They may end up on insulin but they will still not be classed as Type1.

I am so sorry to hear about your brother, it must be hard having to come to terms with his death. I think the grief you are feeling is very natural and your anger is part of the grieving process. You seem to be directing the anger at yourself in deciding not to try and control your diabetes.

How about starting again and not being so strict with yourself regarding diet. Have a day a week where you eat what you like for now and you will find that it is something to look forward to. Once you get over the grief, you will probably decide to look after yourself again.
Being a perfectionist over managing diabetes is not a good thing as it causes daily stress so I would advise that you take it slowly to get where you want to be and understand that a few higher readings are not going to do much damage in the grand scheme of things.
I am sure your whole family are feeling the grief and you will find that if you share your feelings with them it will become easier.

Take care and let us know how things are going. My thoughts are with you,

CC.

Hi Q, I totally understand where you are coming from. I am Type 2, and like you started on no meds, diet only, but I love sweet stuff. Had real problems controlling my Bgs, so was put on tablets. Took them for a while, and really tried to take control, but felt awful all the time. It seemed as tho the harder I tried to do it right, the worse I felt, so, like you, I decided I didn't want to be diabetic anymore, and stopped taking my meds, and ate what I liked, including sweets, biscuits and puddings, in large quantities. Felt great, and even lost weight, and kept it off, so was very smug around my constantly dieting friends. (Surprised I have any left!!) After 3 years, still felt fine, thirsty, but ok, and then got an infection in my left great toe, which didn't hurt, so I didn't take it seriously until it turned black. By then it was too late, and it was amputated, and I am now on insulin to bring my incredibly high HbA1c back down, (from 135 8 weeks ago, to 72 last week!) Answer to your question? Yes, you can ignore it, eat what you like, and you will probably feel OK for quite a while, BUT IT WILL COME AND GET YOU! Take a deep breath, bite the bullet, and eat sensibly, with the odd treat. I am sure your brother wouldn't want you to go down the same road that he travelled, because it means that you haven't learned anything. Do it for him, if not yourself. Everyone here will be there to listen and help, I find them great. And insulin isn't the worst thing in the world. At least I am still here! Good luck with everything. :thumbup:

I'm glad you have posted.
Since I had a friend take his own life 10 years ago,, I take "not another day" comments literally, and I'd been concerned.

Hi Q007, Do hope you are feeling a little more positive today, it's been a stressful time for you recently and you probably feel "what's the point.' Everyone on the site is routing for you and you will get back on track again. Give yourself time, as they say take it easy, have a naughty something each day (for now) providing it's not excessive but keep on track with the foods we diabetics know we should have if we want to keep smiling. I love the kinda foods you like too but I always think first, enjoy it in small doses and not all the time. I was told, don't punish yourself and not have at all, be sensible and think first how much you should have. It works. Take care, keeping working on it.

Mr Happy said:

The option after that is pain, dehydration, hypos, fear of hypos, amputation, renal or eyesight failure, death!

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True but what drew me to this was the irony of it being posted by someone with the name Mr Happy!

I am reminded of a Monty Python scene with Eric Idle singing 'Always look on the bright side of life' whilst being nailed to the cross.

Q007 said:

T2, on no meds hba1c results 71 through 58 to recent 43. I just can't cope with Diabetic regime anymore. My diet has crashed and burned, I don't smoke nor drink alcohol, never did like salads, nuts and oaty things. I like chips, pasta, rice and sugary things. I read the other day that prawns are not that good for us??

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Well whatever you did has been working and it is not unusual that, once a target is achieved, you feel at a loss when you have no new target to aim at.

Having got control, you could make a new target to find new foods that you enjoy whilst keeping your bloods the same. A bit of experiement, a bit of fun.

I like wholegrain pasta and brown rice by the way. I never tried them before. I found them a bit chewy to begin with but now I really think they are tastier.

Q007 said:

A huge thank you to everyone, I just wish the support in this forum was in real life. I realise that only I can do this but it's been a month now since I quit and went back to normal eating (don't do the cans of coke and chocolate though), I only decided, on impulse, to post the 'real me' just yesterday. I've learned lots from this site but none of it knits together so still don't understand what's gone wrong. Since I was diagnosed, I don't feel any better for the changes I've made. I was diagnosed through a routine check as the 'D' word is in the family. I didn't feel ill then and don't now? My Diabetes was brought on by a period of severe emotional trauma that hit me 6 years ago and lasted for a few years, no question - I won't have that Diabetes has struck as it's in the family.

My brother was undiagnosed for several years, he had a foot injury that the surgery just kept treating for months but the penny never dropped until a locum nurse rang the alarm bell but it was too late to save his foot, the primary care practice was dealt with through the courts of law, but it all spiralled down from there. I have a bowl of cornflakes with 2 or 3 heaps of sugar for supper, then test my BG 2 hours later and it comes in around 7.6 or 7.8?? - So, a low reading after such a huge dose of sugar started me off with slipping off the diet control. At my primary care practice there are 2 GP's that cover Diabetic matters, one of them is a nest of vipers and I just get handed loads of leaflets and reminded that we only have 10 minutes. So, the only support I have is you, not after a vote of sympathy, being told to 'man up' never works on me either but thank you for all the support indeed, thank you.

I didn't know that T2's could go on to insulin??? does that mean injections????

Kind wishes all,

Q..

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Hey Q keep your chin up - your brother was testament that there is always someone worse off than yourself but....you do need to keep on track. If you look after your condition you will be making the decisions.

I was touched by your wish that this support was in real life - hello - we are all real and we are all rooting for you to get back on the wagon chap - and the best bit is we will all still be here morning noon and night whatever the weather with some more support when you need it.


Diagnosed Type II 1998 1 x 80 mg Gliclazide, 4 x 500mg Metformin and 1 x 100mg Sitagliptin - HbA1c - 48 mmol/mol

Re: I Just Can't Do This Anymore, I Quit..

by Q007 » Today, 4:07 pm

I didn't know that T2's could go on to insulin??? does that mean injections????

Kind wishes all,

Q..

Hiya Q,
I am type2 and have to inject insulin, I am on NovoMix 30. My diabetes was initially being controlled by diet and meds (Metformin and sitaglyptin) unfortunately my sugars were poorly controlled with tablets and just over 12 months ago my eyesight started to deteriorate so much so that I had to wear 2 pairs of glasses just to get around the house. The reason for the change to insulin was twofold, firstly because the tablets didn't seem to be working and secondly because they where affecting my liver ( I have primary biliary cirrhosis), since starting the insulin everything is improving.
Injecting is sooo easy, I would be lying if I said I never feel a thing, but I do hardly ever feel a thing and when I do it only lasts a second or two.
I hope you're feeling better today, never give up, there is always a way of working things out.
Please keep us posted as to how you get on

hi
we all have times like that - for some of us it take longer than others to get through it.
I have been a badly controlled diabetic for many years and then one day I had a doctor who listen and understood and didn't think I was just being bad. I went to see the clinical psychologist who looked with me at why I do what I do.
now I have an insulin pump and things are better- so don't feel abnormal - because you aren't;
however only you can make your life safe and make it worth living
we all need to have the odd thing we shouldn't and to have the odd occasion of eating things we shouldn't but it needs to be n proportion. we have to like ourselves enough to want to live and be healthy- not always that easy.
it is good to have a forum of people here to help you and to be able to say I don't want to be diabetic anymore to people who understand.

Firstly I'm so sorry for your loss but you need a wake up call and I would of thought losing your brother would be it. I have type 1 and I'm only 21 and it's so awful, I feel like I can't live a full life or do what I want in fear of always being hypo. Unfortunately I can't get rid of my diabetes, ill always have it .. But you cn prevent yours! So do it for yourself but also for all of us who can't get rid of it illness. I wish you the best of luck.


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you WON'T become a T1. You may well become a T2 who is insulin dependent. It's not an option, I'd choose. I'm married to a T1, who has multiple complications including kidney failure.
I've learned from my years of watching and campaigning that fussy eaters do have the hardest time of it, but just because we get fed up with something, it won't just go away. Hunt round for foods you do like that won't hurt you and then build on your cooking skills. Have the stuff you like in very small portions. I chip won't hurt you, a bagful WILL.
We each have to find our own pathway through the forest, but it's not worth the alternatives. Uncontrolled diabetes is still one of the most common causes of blindness and amputations, as well as kidney failure. Amputations don't have very good survival times. about 5 years I believe.
Hana

Q007 said:

A huge thank you to everyone, I just wish the support in this forum was in real life. I realise that only I can do this but it's been a month now since I quit and went back to normal eating (don't do the cans of coke and chocolate though), I only decided, on impulse, to post the 'real me' just yesterday. I've learned lots from this site but none of it knits together so still don't understand what's gone wrong. Since I was diagnosed, I don't feel any better for the changes I've made. I was diagnosed through a routine check as the 'D' word is in the family. I didn't feel ill then and don't now? My Diabetes was brought on by a period of severe emotional trauma that hit me 6 years ago and lasted for a few years, no question - I won't have that Diabetes has struck as it's in the family.

My brother was undiagnosed for several years, he had a foot injury that the surgery just kept treating for months but the penny never dropped until a locum nurse rang the alarm bell but it was too late to save his foot, the primary care practice was dealt with through the courts of law, but it all spiralled down from there. I have a bowl of cornflakes with 2 or 3 heaps of sugar for supper, then test my BG 2 hours later and it comes in around 7.6 or 7.8?? - So, a low reading after such a huge dose of sugar started me off with slipping off the diet control. At my primary care practice there are 2 GP's that cover Diabetic matters, one of them is a nest of vipers and I just get handed loads of leaflets and reminded that we only have 10 minutes. So, the only support I have is you, not after a vote of sympathy, being told to 'man up' never works on me either but thank you for all the support indeed, thank you.

I didn't know that T2's could go on to insulin??? does that mean injections????

Kind wishes all,

Q..

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Hi So sorry to hear of your troubles and worries. Firstly I would say losing your brother has hit you for six, but you may not realise how badly it has affected you and I do feel for you. You won't and cannot turn into Type 1 but some Type 2's can and do go on to Insulin, but it's not the end of the world, honestly.

My 12 year old's dad died last year (she was 11) and the worry, and anger I felt because my daughter was suffering leading up to his death and afterwards was so traumatic and it did affect me and my diabetes, even though I told everyone I was fine.

You can get through this, but it may take time. We are here for you.

Can I leave you with this :-

No one can go back and make a new start. Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending


Take care of your self and I'm sure things will get better for you.

Best wishes RRB x

Hi q007 I think everyone has given you great advice and I don't really have anything to add except to say don't give up, take each day at a time and maybe try to have more healthy eating days than not so healthy. I think RRB's quote is lovely and completely appropriate. Do keep us posted on here as to how you are doing. Xxx


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Hey Q, so great you're back online. It a lonely place to be, any chronic illness does that, but you're not alone. You have the support of everyone who replied, and more, I'm sure. When you feel brave enough to get the meter out, don't be afraid to report back online, regardless of how high (or low) the number is. Baby steps will get you there, so please don't burden yourself with high expectations. Just take it slowly and gradually. You've done well in the past and you can do it again, but I said before, you need to be in the right frame of mind. It takes a lot of self-discipline to make those dietary changes, and when you are in the early stages of a major bereavement, it's much, much more difficult. So take it one small step at a time, and be forgiving of yourself. You will get through this. It's a difficult journey, but you will make it through.


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Q,

How about some figures to help allay the demons, as you consider that 2nd chip? You say your Dr is Dr Doom, perhaps the relatively low number of diabetic deaths might cause you to look at things differently?

There are approx 3m diabetics in the UK. In 2011, in England and Wales, 4893 people died due to diabetes. To take kidney complication as they were mentioned earlier, just 616 died due to renal complications. Of those 117 were under 70, and 504 were over 70. I know this will appear callous. but dying over 70 with diabetes seems good to me.

I also know the way diabetes runs in families we often know someone who has had complications. My brother died recently too, but he is just one of 2 people I know who died because of diabetes in the 44 years I have been diabetic. Both of those people were over 60, so I don't let it get me down.

Now off down south to a funeral of an ex-colleague who died from bowel cancer.

I'd happily chose diabetes over other ailments any day. (but then I have had 44 years to come to terms with it - perhaps you'll feel the same 40+ years from now