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im feeling hopeless

Discussion in 'Diabetes Soapbox - Have Your Say' started by teeekilicious18, Feb 11, 2018.

  1. teeekilicious18

    teeekilicious18 Other · Well-Known Member

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    As you all know about my kidney issues, no matter what I did try to give kindness to the people I know and sympathy to people who are in critical condition worse than me, with sincerely, I don't mean to say this but it kills me, my own mother still blames me that my immune system is weak because of me. I'm telling you guys, my old friends and my family do not support me but my friends & my aunt (whose a survivor) did support me mentally but financially, how so? I still need my own family and old friends. Everybody kept blaming me for my bad habits, but who doesn't have it? It's been third round of antibiotic therapy and it did not work at all. I kept getting death slams all over and over. It's either about how bad antibiotic can get to you OR its about your bad habits, like you couldn't get up early cause you feel nauseas from urinating alot at night....

    The question here Is it really your fault if you can't heal yourself?

    But the good thing, I'm blessed that my new friends supported me through the good and bad, especially when I'm breathless. I don't see the point of living here tho, if I keep suffering and gets nothing in return. But I still do enjoy doing good things for people. Do you guys see my point?

    I can't really express my feelings if people I knew well mock my feelings every time you guys omg
     
    • Hug Hug x 6
  2. Contralto

    Contralto Other · Expert

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    I think sometimes it is like being in a forest of negativity when the people around you cannot understand what you need. During these times, it is important to gain joy from small things you can control whether it is getting away to some quiet place and listening to different kinds of music or just reading a book and getting your mind somewhere else.

    One friend when she was going through chemo and was too weak to move painted landscapes in her imagination, trying to memorize each part of the imaginary canvases. She had the will to finish these canvases and start new ones. She had no art talent! But when it was over, she had planned and accomplished a lot, conquering much illness and eventually took a class. She had to learn to be creative in order to conquer her circumstances
     
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    • Agree Agree x 1
  3. DCUKMod

    DCUKMod I reversed my Type 2 · Moderator
    Staff Member

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    @teeekilicious18 - I may have missed something, but is your kidney issue diabetes related?
     
  4. rmz80

    rmz80 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Most people simply don't know really what to say because they've not practiced enough. With young children people know not to say; for example "your rubbish at drawing!" but use phases like "thats a very good try and you'll do even better next time".
     
    • Hug Hug x 1
  5. teeekilicious18

    teeekilicious18 Other · Well-Known Member

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    Wow, thank you, thank you I love this. Bless your friend so much!! I'm Mind blown tho. Yeah, I've been sticking with positive people in my life, my new friends have been giving me prayers that says, "Do not wish for death when god, or even spiritually, didn't give us enough fate that we wanted and as a child, so long we didn't do anything mean to our parents, we have done our part. If our family isn't happy with us, let them be. It's never your fault for anything. We can't beat ourselves up. When you're suffering later, it shall be for good reasons that it is to make your family feeling guilty for you."

    I've been doing on my portfolio work as well :) At home.
     
  6. teeekilicious18

    teeekilicious18 Other · Well-Known Member

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    nope. it's pyelonephritis, confirmed. it's my 4th round of antibiotics. It's been so hard to remove the bacteria and my white blood cells still high.
     
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  7. Contralto

    Contralto Other · Expert

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    That seems very beautifully positive. I think sometimes we can contemplate something like "Judge not that ye be not judged" and get to the point of understanding that it is only a creator who can judge but forget that we can't judge ourselves, either and that includes judging ourselves unworthy of existence. We hear an ancient hymn like "How glorious are thy works, O Lord, in wisdom hast Thou made us all" and forget that we ourselves are glorious
     
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