Anonymous Question Is my flatulence to do with diabetes?

[gosling]

Best giggle I've had in ages.....
Felt it only fair to share...... Stories!!!!!!!!
One of the funniest stories I've ever heard was told to me about a friend of a friend and it goes like this.....
Petter and Ulla were going to a party and they had agreed to take dessert. They stopped at a patisserie and Ulla went inside to get a cake. No sooner had she got her ticket and was standing in the queue, then she had an overwhelming urge to fart. Unfortunately the queue was long and as the minutes ticked by, sweat began to pour down her face with the effort of holding it in as she shuffled slowly with both buttocks clenched. Finally it was her turn, so she pointed to the first available cake, grabbed the box, threw the money at the bemused assistant and shuffled out if the shop as quickly as possible. She wrenched the car door open, slung the cake onto the back seat, got into the car, sank down in the passenger seat, closed her eyes and let rip with the longest fart in history - only to open her eyes and look into the face of a complete stranger!!!!!!! Horrified, she left without speaking. When her partner asked where the cake was, she just yelled at him to drive the **** car.
What I find especially funny, was the thought of the guy who now had the free cake describing how he got the cake to his wife! Well there's good news and there's bad news........

OMG. that is hilarious, I can totally imagine the discomfort of the buttock clenching, since starting 500mg x 4 daily I do my own buttock clenching several times a day until I get home and walk the dog then I can get some relief! LOL

 

[lunarlinda]

Hubby-to-be is the most prolific farter I have ever met. Huge, enormous, gut-ripping, noxious fumes that could knock an elephant out cold. He thinks it's hilarious... but wasn't quite so amused when I introduced him to the lovely sugar-free thornton's chocolate. He wasn't so smug that day, when he wasn't quite sure whether it was entirely safe to break wind.

OOOO, pray tell me more about Thorntons sugar-free chocolates...mmmmmmmmm

 

[Scandichic]

I have never broken wind at school in all my years of teaching then managed to do this about 5 years ago 3 times. With 3 different classes. And got caught out 3 times. The humiliation! There was nothing I could do so just uttered the immortal line "better out than in! " and held my head up high whilst inwardly burning with shame. You can imagine the Micky taking! Some of the little gits even brought it up at parents evening - much to the amusement of their parents and my colleagues. Oh well! Always look on the bright side of life as Spike Milligan sang!
Last year I was out with a friend and our children, when one of the girls (now a grown woman) came up to me and said. Hello miss. Do you remember that time when you got up off the field on sports day, whilst we were watching the rounders and farted? C'est la vie!

 

[patjenkins1]

Try slow real ease metformin. The difference is unbelievable.


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[Gilsy s]

Thank you all for your "toilet humour" I've had the best laugh for ages I also belong to the farters club. I have type2 diabetes that is still not responding well to medication, have been told that if this latest increase didn't work, I would have to have insulin injections So finding this thread has made my day. Newbe to forum.

 

[martinsk8r]

Thank you all for your "toilet humour" I've had the best laugh for ages I also belong to the farters club. I have type2 diabetes that is still not responding well to medication, have been told that if this latest increase didn't work, I would have to have insulin injections So finding this thread has made my day. Newbe to forum.

At last I have found someone else with lack of response to tablets.
To keep with this thread, ALL the medication has side effeects of 'may cause flatulence' so I see it as a licence to fart. So there!
I am now type 2 on insulin and that is not working too well either. My readings are still over 10 with a 12.6 this morning before breakfast and I have upped my units from a start of 6 to 16 (in 12 days). The answer from the hospital is to keep upping it.

 

[CollieBoy]

I've only just found this thread, and it makes for hilarious bed-time reading.



Well of course they all knew it was the dog - not you!

I can relate to the doggy disgust stories: I had a dog once that could fart for England; the poor little dog was elderly ,quite ill, and on a fair bit of medication. It used to offend him greatly and he'd shoot across the room to get away from his efforts. I called him my methane propelled dog.

Robbity

Late to the (farty) party I know, but my collie is hilarious. You hear a hissing sound (she's silent but deadly) she wakes up looks dead ashamed, and slinks out of the room! Wonder if she could herd sheep by farts?

 

[blothom]

Been reading these posts, laughing with clenched buttocks (Type 2, insulin dependent, no Metformin, multiple trumpets all day, every day) and can't help wondering, what did 2Christine do with her first husband? I get the impression that he may still be with us, if not with her, but why would you get shot of a saint? Those sherbet dips must have been really precious!!! At least the second one can't sneak up on her and pinch them without her noticing

 

[Q007]

That happened to me once, I went into a phone box after waiting in this queue for ages, when it came to my turn this builder type man who was covered in paint (maybe he kept pigeons) ran out out the box, I thought 'funny'. Anyway, when I got it the box I could tell why he was in such a hurry, he'd dropped his guts (Welsh expression). It stank, I looked round and a drop dead gorgeous woman was standing next for her turn, she did give me a lovely smile. I couldn't breathe in there, I was asphyxiating fast.

I had the most difficult decision I think I'd ever had to make. Did I come out of the booth and this awesome woman would step in, smell the stench and think it was me. Or did I die from (coroners jargon here) inhalation of human anus chocolate starfish contents resulting in all bronchial charred lungus death.

I died, this is my ghost speaking (anyone want next Saturday's lottery numbers)

Jokes aside, it was true, I'm now on a ventilator. Q..

 

[Jim 007*]

Really funny thread makes you realise that you are not alone with the effects of metformin ...i thought it was just me who had a backside like a dragons nostril....or at best twitched like a rabbits nose..lol....sorry for being so crude

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[Andy12345]

yay! the flatulance thread rides again

 

[popsy]

Really funny thread makes you realise that you are not alone with the effects of metformin ..lol....sorry for being so crude

Sent from the Diabetes Forum App

Yahoo crudity rides again! We all need a little coarseness in our lives I reckon and on here we can say it! What a wonderfully diverse forum this is with humour "so sharp it looks like an Oscar Wilde quote that's been dipped in lemon juice and poked in someone's eye" ...Ace Rimmer, Red Dwarf.

I wonder if the original OP ever got any help from this thread, they certainly would have got some comfort in knowing that we are all members of the DCUKFC....work it out

 

[Pollylocks]

......the dog I used to have was quite old and often let out a fart when she was asleep.....it was like a high pitched squeak......she would jump up looking absolutely astonished and tear round the room sniffing as she never knew where it'd come from.....

 

[Scandichic]

I actually blow off far less now I eat LCHF and am on metformin too! Just shows what carbs do to you. In my younger days, when trying to lose weight and eating low fat I use to blow off like a drey horse. Before I became a teacher, I worked in an office. One of the girls was training to be an aerobics instructor so we all turned up to her class to give support. After an hour of jumping up and down, we had to warm down. This involved lying on our mats doing various stretches. Then we had to throw our legs over our shoulders and use the rocking motion to get up. Unfortunately I did a rip roaring blow off. Unfortunately the music stopped just at this point. There was mayhem. The girl was lying on the stage crying with laughter. When I went into work the next day, my desk was covered in cards featuring a woman blowing off whilst doing aerobics. Have just tried to find it on google images but can't. I was never, ever allowed to live this down.

 

[Andy12345]

 

[Bearz0410]

Is it honestly anything to do wit diabetes. Or just everything els it could be related to......help I'm getting kicked out shortly lol.

 

[Bearz0410]

I only seem to do it at bed time, surely mine is just related to what I have eat and drank in the day.

 

[alliebee]

Beans beans they're good for your heart
The more you eat the more you fart
The more you fart the better you feel
So let's eat beans for every meal!!!

Unless you low carb of course......

 

[Robbity]

Well as far as I'm concerned metfartin standard version is so called for a very good reason, but since going on to the slow release version I rarely have to blame the dogs any more for noxious fumes around the house....

Robbity

 

[alliebee]

Metfartin!!!! Love it. Laughing my socks off here