Is this burnout?

[tigger]

I can't seem to stop feeling like I'm failing at this all the time. I've been up and down for quite a while as a result of breastfeeding and not being able to properly basal test. I have some days which are very good and others which are not both hypo and hyper. I have a (working) libre at the moment and while I find it helpful I also find it very stressful as I can see quite clearly when things aren't working. It also makes me want to remain perfectly in the target range and makes me very nervous when I start going above it.

I'm having site issues with my sets which I'm not sure is due to the area being too used up (I rested it for 6 months) or too much fat there. I haven't exercised in ages because the only time I can do it is the evening and my husband is out the country and I'm not confident about doing it and not having a bad hypo overnight. I have 4 kids and a full time job.

My last hba1c was 6 so I can't be doing that badly but I just feel like I'm never getting it right, that I'm having to think about it way more than I used to and I'm continually worried about highs, lows and non-working sets.

I know I'm lucky. I've been type 1 for 33 years, have no complications, have a pump, have 4 children but I feel like everything is being affected at the moment and I can't seem to stop it. I've tried taking breaks from the libre but it doesn't seem to help much, particularly at the moment where I've just gone back to work after maternity leave and am trying to make sure my basal is right. The hospital's advice is always "relax a bit" which I never find helpful as if I'm running high I feel rubbish, if I'm low I feel rubbish and there's always the fear at the back of my mind of complications.

Does anyone have any tips for how to get out of this rut?

 

[rockape37]

I'm afraid that i really don't have an answer but felt i should say something.

I too am struggling with basal testing and on a pump and this is partly due to bad timing on my part as the warehouse I'm working in is rather busy so I've put it on hold for the time being.

You have to remember that you are human and have a household to run so do your basal testing when YOU feel that you can fit it in. In other words if you would rather sit back and relax with a slice of cake rather than basal test then do so, give yourself a break. Bringing up a family with your partner working away can't be easy so that tiny bit of ME TIME is even more important.

I too run a little high or low somtimes even though I'm on a pump, these things happen its part of life in which we don't always have full control no matter what.


Take care

Martin

 

[himtoo]

Hey @tigger
it does sound as though you are having a rough time of it right now...........with all you have going on it does not sound too surprising.
I hope this next bit helps .......try to be kind to yourself !
reading your topic you sound like SUPERMUM to me

I am tagging somebody that should be able to give you a good perspective and perhaps a different way to approach
@Snapsy ( she is brilliant )

 

[azure]

Hi @tigger

Never ever underestimate the effect a young family can have on your diabetes. - and how well you're doing to manage

At the best of times, Type 1 can throw us curveballs, but when you have your schedule dictated by very young children, then you'd have to be some kind of superhero to get perfect sugars all day every day with no adjustments necessary.

So please don't think that other Type 1 mums are skipping about with only the occasional thought to their blood sugars! I test a huge amount and make adjustments as needed - that is, eat extra food or correct if my plan for the afternoon has had to change, etc. That's not 'failing', it's being pro-active and adjusting to what's necessary

Your HbA1C is very good

An admission here: I haven't done a basal test since before I was pregnant. It's not possible when pregnant or breastfeeding and certainly not advisable. All I've done is try to make sure my BS is in range as much as possible. So maybe I adjusted my lunchtime ratio when I should have tweaked a couple of hours of basal rate there - who cares? The end result is the same if I get my sugars in range. Don't stress yourself about doing things 'perfectly'. You have a huge amount going on and it sounds like you're doing very well. Remember that

The pump sites issue is annoying and I sympathise. All I can suggest is trying various length cannulas and different sets. Over the years, the sets/cannulas I get best results from have changed. I think that's normal, especially if you've been pregnant and breastfeeding. Also, I think the sets themselves affect body areas so where one type of set worked before, it may now need a rethink.

You have four children and you work full time. You're doing a fantastic job

If the Libre is stressing you, then don't use it for a while. Why put extra pressure on yourself? You know you're aiming to be in range anyway so why up the pressure like that? Indeed, the stress you say it's causing could be counter-productive anyway.

 

[slip]

@tigger how the hell do you manage? Ah yes people have already said, you are supermum!

You probably worked really hard to get your hba1c to 6 (I'm guessing due to pregnancy), you look after 4 kids (Ones enough for me!), you run the household and hold down a fulltime job - just stop and think about that for a minute.
Something has got to give a bit, and it ain't gonna be the house or the job or the children is it? You worked hard for the hab1c 6 result, you can do it again when the time is right, now isn't the time, give yourself some breathing space - you need it by the sound of it.

Once the ol'man gets back make sure he takes you away for a weekend break somewhere without the supermum hassles!

 

[tigger]

Thanks @azure I've got a new box of sets coming today with a longer canula after neither of the 2 types I'd used there before worked.

That's very encouraging. I just have to make myself believe it now

 

[tigger]

@slip - current hba1c is 6 but with quite a lot of hypos

 

[Snapsy]

@tigger I'm exhausted just thinking about everything you've got on your plate at the moment - and that's really speaking to me, because very often in my case it's just one extra thing to do, one extra commitment, one ball in the air too many and BOOM suddenly nothing seems to work.... You've just gone back to work - and that extra ball has knocked you. The ball will find its way back in with the other balls, and you'll be a tiptop juggler again - but it's going to take just a little while.

Give the balls a chance. I'm wondering whether your feelings of failure are because of your - shall we say - zealous concern about your control, when I feel that perhaps that concern is a symptom of the overwhelm, rather than the cause? I'm sort of looking at it from the other direction, if you see what I mean.

I have always really overdone the control thing - it's always been the 'be all and end all' of my three decades of diabetes existence, and it's only in the last 10-13 months that I have felt that control will be better...... IN THE FUTURE. My control is never perfect 'now'. Every test it's like 'hmmmm, could do better', or 'hmmmm, why is that high/low/not high/low/*** is going on?' - take your pick.

The whole not being hard on oneself thing is, I feel, the hardest. I mean, we've both had it drummed into us, haven't we, since the 1980s, that we need to do this, do that, keep between two lines, etc etc, to avoid all the potentially lurking complications...... but what we are not told is that at the same time we need to operate as real people, as human beings, as normal members of society, with partners, families, jobs, commitments, nights down the pub, the odd curry. It's a paradox - be hard on yourself to 'succeed' diabetically - but at the same time don't be hard on yourself. If anyone has the answer to that little impossible equation then I'd be very grateful! Frankly it does my head in when a member of my diabetes team tells me not to be so hard on myself. Talk about mixed messages!

Back to the specifics (sorry, I love an essay) - your sites are being troublesome - sorry to hear that. I've not been pumping long, but found very quickly that the right-hand side of my tummy is a total no-go zone for my cannulas - so I've been rotating around the left side, but also using my spare tyre around the back. Although I'm slim I do have a spare tyre, and I go right down to below waistband level to sometimes right up on my actual waist (it smarts a bit on entry when it's that high, but oh boy the absorption rate is good) and I alternate sides. And having it round the back means it's waaaaay more out of the way than I was finding it round the front - much less risk for me of tripping over the hosepipe. And because I'd never injected round the back (despite having an amazing osteopath I fear the resulting cricks in having to 'pinch and stab' at those angles would be beyond even her!) it's pretty much virgin territory for shoving insulin into.

Despite basal testing not being an option for you at the moment (btw I've only ever done ONE lot of basal testing - shhhhh - and that's not because I'm perfect and nailed everything first time, it's because life's got in the way, and hey, I've not managed it) it might be the case that you can recognise patterns without doing basal testing, and make little adjustments to either your basal or your bolus and then see how that goes. That's what I've been doing - the Libre is a Godsend for seeing where you're at, and recognising where the patterns are, but goodness me like you I get SO SICK of wanting that line to be flat the whole time. Is my line ever flat? Hmmm, let's count some flying pigs and some blue moons....

I think you're doing an incredible job. Four kids, including a brand-new one - huge respect! Your husband's away. You've just gone back to work.

And you know what? Even though you're not happy with the Libre line, your HbA1c is spot on. I know you'd like to have fewer hypos and hypers, and a steadier line, but small steps to gradual changes will get you there. I know how hard this is. I know how hard you're working. And I know you're doing an incredible job. Just remember to be kind to @tigger.

Love Snapsy x


PS Don't forget - to quote A A Milne - that the wonderful thing about tiggers is that tiggers are wonderful things!

 

[tigger]

Thank you so much @Snapsy . That really cheered me up.

 

[AmandaD]

when I had kids I found I couldn't use my stomach anymore for infusion sets or my cgm. Moved the sets to the side and cgm to my arm. Breastfeeding caused havoc with my blood sugars I'd fall very quickly so I tried to make sure I always had something to nibble on if I could see that a drop was imminent. after a few months it eventually settled down to where they were no more hypos whilst feeding. Your HbA1c is brilliant and whilst your day to day seems crazy ur obviously doing something right. I was the same and my consultant told me to take it easy on myself I had two babies a full time job a long commute and was trying to be supermom diabetic on top of it all something had to give and I did. Basal testing is nightmare for me only done it about three times in 11 years on a pump. Go easy on urself take baby steps get one part of the day good rather than focusing on the whole lot and trying to change everything at the same time. My cgms graphs looked like a spider had danced all over the page up and down for the two years after my babies were born but now they've settled. I found by getting the day good in steps meant there were less problems later on. My consultant said to me, despite the mess that ur graphs are, U are trying, u still wear the cgm, you still do blood sugars, u try and fix it and live the life you have, that to him was good enough. And like Snapsy said Tiggers are wonderful things x