Just been diagnosed

[JoKalsbeek]

I was diagnosed type 2 in August.
Was all fine then miserable and cried then fine and the circle continued.
Then it stopped and I just got angry, with everyone and everything (that’s not quite over yet).

My mother last week very helpfully told me it’s all in my head, it’s mind over matter. If you feel ill you can stop feeling ill by talking yourself out if it.

Had a couple of ace days. Felt more energetic than I have for months.

Went to gig in London tonight, left before encore as started to feel tired, by tine got to tune had stomach pains, felt sick and then got angry with the world again and cried!!

Then felt bad because maybe it is all in my head then thought no. I feel how I feel.

Then got angry again

Crying is fine. I’ve decided the more I do it the better.

It is extremely overwhelming and there is so much conflicting advice which is so confusing and stressful. I’m still finding my way round it all (mostly by avoiding the doctor and nurse who just confuse me more).

Have a biiiiig hug from me. We can cry and be angry together!!

It's not in your head. Pain, fatigue, stress, they're all real, they all have an impact on you, mentally and physically, and need to be acknowledged and dealth with. Otherwise it's just sweeping it under the rug, not taking yourself seriously, and that usually just makes matters worse. Anger is one of the Kübler-Ross stages of grief, and when I was dealing with a death, knowing what I was feeling was perfectly normal, made me feel a little better. Especially the bit that there were several stages to go through and then, life would resume with some semblance of normalcy. I couldn't imagine it then, but she seemed to know what she was on about. I held on to that for dear life back then, all too literally. Liz Kübler-Ross was right, and also about another thing: It's not just death we grieve over. The same applies to stuff like, say, a life-changing diagnosis. You do and feel whatever you need to do and feel to take better care of yourself. If that means a good cry, or leaving a concert early, then that's what you do. We drove a long way for an event once and I never even made it onto the parking lot. Just drove home in tears until Kornelis decided he wanted to cheer me up somehow, took a turn on a rotunda, and took me to something else instead, which he knew I could handle that day, and even enjoy. Thankfully I have a very understanding husband who didn't get angry over the fuel and wasted (bl**dy expensive) tickets. Not just that time either. Sometimes... You just have to look after you. No, scratch that. Make that all the time. You're your Nr 1 priority. You have to be, because no-one else can take care of these things for you. And if people don't understand that, well... Then they probably never had a chronic illness. Lucky them. But this is our reality, our day-to-day. It's real, and we deal with it any way we can.