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Living with a partner with uncontrolled type 2 diabetes

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Enclave that's very similar to my oh too. Same with heart problems and 17 years and 1 child later...
We're all stronger than we realise but Sometimes we need something to fight for to turn the situation around.
 
Pip16 said:
Enclave that's very similar to my oh too. Same with heart problems and 17 years and 1 child later...
We're all stronger than we realise but Sometimes we need something to fight for to turn the situation around.
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Yes it's funny how we can see ourselves in others .. I can completely shut down and sleep in an effort to avoid admitting I have a problem. Lucky the wife knows this and now seems to have ways of stopping me doing this. Molly needs to find a way into her OH's problems .. Untill he's ready to fight for his health there little Molly can do. The wife call my shutdown moods as the great give up ... That's it I just get overwhelmed and give up ... Only when I am shown that the problem can be broken down in to small achivable chunks, can I come out of my shell and fight ... Rather than sleep away the problem
 
Seems a bit better today....more like himself...latest blood sugar reading was 13.4 so has come down from extremes of yesterday.....panic over for now at least....
Spoke to pharmacist for advice....will keep an eye on situation over the next few days and discuss with diabetic nurse at appointment already booked for middle of next week...
Thanks for all the messages, advice and support....:)
 
Molly56 said:
Seems a bit better today....more like himself...latest blood sugar reading was 13.4 so has come down from extremes of yesterday.....panic over for now at least....
Spoke to pharmacist for advice....will keep an eye on situation over the next few days and discuss with diabetic nurse at appointment already booked for middle of next week...
Thanks for all the messages, advice and support....:)
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Hope the DSN can help on Weds...
You are having a tough time supporting OH but like others have said.. It looks like he is realising his predicament.

Out of interest Molly.. Did you give an answer to his proposal?
 
:bag: Out of interest Molly.. Did you give an answer to his proposal?

:cool::p:rolleyes:
 
Just got home at 2pm after being out this morning ....and he is still in bed....says he can't get up....won't have blood sugar levels checked...
....he reckons it is because he ate a couple of cakes last night (purchased because my mum and dad popped round....don't usually have cakes in the house).....also found remnants of chocolate bar (.....have now moved location of my chocolate treats)
.....so basically self inflicted........current sympathy level is at rock bottom:(....but determined not to get stressed over it...:(
...and to add to that he has not had his medication for this morning....:(......
Getting to the point where I don't know what to do....other than just let him get on with it....
 
Sadly he's hit the self-distruction button ... I do this some times when overwhelmed by a problem. Just think o lets get it over with there's no way out of this .... The wife knows this and shows me the way out .... Why not chat to him about getting married .. And how he will need to get his health back on track to be match fit for your wedding night with him. Let him know he has the power to turn his ill health around ... And your there with him ready to celebrate his new found health .. When he's done the Hard work of turning things around .... Let's face it .. You have tried almost everything else :bag::bag::bag::banghead:
 
Molly56 said:
Just got home at 2pm after being out this morning ....and he is still in bed....says he can't get up....won't have blood sugar levels checked...
....he reckons it is because he ate a couple of cakes last night (purchased because my mum and dad popped round....don't usually have cakes in the house).....also found remnants of chocolate bar (.....have now moved location of my chocolate treats)
.....so basically self inflicted........current sympathy level is at rock bottom:(....but determined not to get stressed over it...:(
...and to add to that he has not had his medication for this morning....:(......
Getting to the point where I don't know what to do....other than just let him get on with it....
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Sounds like the best idea, let him get on with it, tough love and all that.

I have never replied to this thread before( hello and nice to meet you Molly) don't think I could cope with that at all :banghead: I'm afraid, At the end of the day he is an adult and should take responsibility for himself, it's very sad reading indeed:(

Do make sure you look after your self though.
All the best RRB
 
Hi Molly, I understand the 'self destruct button' it can be overwhelming, it can make people very selfish and self centered as he seems to be.

Is he aware of all the posting on this site and messages about him and the worry & problems he is causing you?

Maybe if he isn't aware, he should be made aware of all the distress and shown a few of the postings, just a suggestion.

It is all very sad, stay in there...................

Neil
 
daddys1 said:
Hi Molly, I understand the 'self destruct button' it can be overwhelming, it can make people very selfish and self centered as he seems to be.

Is he aware of all the posting on this site and messages about him and the worry & problems he is causing you?

Maybe if he isn't aware, he should be made aware of all the distress and shown a few of the postings, just a suggestion.

It is all very sad, stay in there...................

Neil
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I would say he was aware :eek: and fully aware at that............................... so shocking, poor Molly :bigtears:
 
Robinredbreast said:
I would say he was aware :eek: and fully aware at that............................... so shocking, poor Molly :bigtears:
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I believe Molly has elected not to share this forum with her OH. There is a good chance he feels so overwhelmed with his health problems he's not able to think how Molly is feeling. Therefor he's not being anything other than overwhelmed with his failing health.
I worry Molly, that he has said he cannot get up ... Is this due to his state of mind or pain ?
 
Enclave said:
I believe Molly has elected not to share this forum with her OH. There is a good chance he feels so overwhelmed with his health problems he's not able to think how Molly is feeling.
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Hi Enclave, I probably agree, but until Molly replies this is just speculation.....I am at a loss as to what would start this man on the road to recovery. He is obviously, or appears to be, very depressed and maybe that's the area that needs treating first, before he will make any sense of anything.

Neil
 
It's poor Molly I feel for, sometimes a good sharp shock can do it. How many times has a female partner been on here asking for help because of exactly the same situation, I know there have been a few in the past.

Like children, if a child repeatably hurts another child/sibling or is mean or a bully, then give all the attention to the hurt child and no response to the child who is causing the problem. Might work with Molly's partner. Poor woman :(

Best wishes RRB
 
daddys1 said:
Hi Enclave, I probably agree, but until Molly replies this is just speculation.....I am at a loss as to what would start this man on the road to recovery. He is obviously, or appears to be, very depressed and maybe that's the area that needs treating first, before he will make any sense of anything.

Neil
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I fully aggree, Molly is facing a huge challange to pull her OH out of the decline he is now in.
 
Hi Molly, if he has arthritis (or even thinks he has) the "cure" is exercise. Could you speak to the Dr and get him to refer your OH to physio and they will give him exercises that will be OK for him to do? I have osteopaenia and osteoarthritis and was recently diagnosed as type 2 after my free NHS health check - a complete shock to me as I had no symptoms. I asked to be referred to a physio for my osteoarthritis rather than a hip replacement which was the other option and the exercises to strengthen my core muscles have made such a difference to me. I know I was starting from a fairly active point but he can start from where he is and gradually increase his level of activity and it may be the spur he needs to become a bit more active. I went three times at two week intervals, then after a month and it is now my last visit at two months at the end of December and we will assess whether I need a hip replacement now.

Good luck, it must be so frustrating for you. I know as my husband drinks too much, gets very little exercise, eats all the wrong things etc and won't go for his free health check so now I just let him get on with it; I am sick of hearing myself saying he should cut down his drinking etc. At present he appears to be fine but then I thought I was until I had my health check!
 
Arab Horse said:
Hi Molly, if he has arthritis (or even thinks he has) the "cure" is exercise. Could you speak to the Dr and get him to refer your OH to physio and they will give him exercises that will be OK for him to do? I have osteopaenia and osteoarthritis and was recently diagnosed as type 2 after my free NHS health check - a complete shock to me as I had no symptoms. I asked to be referred to a physio for my osteoarthritis rather than a hip replacement which was the other option and the exercises to strengthen my core muscles have made such a difference to me. I know I was starting from a fairly active point but he can start from where he is and gradually increase his level of activity and it may be the spur he needs to become a bit more active. I went three times at two week intervals, then after a month and it is now my last visit at two months at the end of December and we will assess whether I need a hip replacement now.

Good luck, it must be so frustrating for you. I know as my husband drinks too much, gets very little exercise, eats all the wrong things etc and won't go for his free health check so now I just let him get on with it; I am sick of hearing myself saying he should cut down his drinking etc. At present he appears to be fine but then I thought I was until I had my health check![
As I have only read a few posts being new to the forum I just read the post where he suggested you marry him.

If it is what you want throw your arms around him and say "yes, yes, a thousand times yes" and then you can start to plan. Does he need to lose weight, if so, start his diet without him realising too much? Tell him he needs to fit for the big day. Leave him a heat in the microwave lunch which has no carbs but meat and green veg or a chicken curry (low sugar sauce) and vegetable side dish. Nuts are a great snack if he doesn't eat too many, healthy and stop hunger, just don't eat too many.

Let us know how you get on this Wednesday.

I have just sent off for some Syntra5 tablets from the US having read a lot about them and their amazing effects on diabetes as I would like to turn my diabetes around and get off meds. I realise I am in a different position from him but I will let you know how I get on with them and if they do what it says on the tin!
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Have been trying to work out how is the best way to say this to put an end to any speculation without it sounding wrong...so here goes...

If I ever decided to get married again it would have to be right for me and for the right reasons....at the moment I don't feel that this is either the right time or the right reason to consider going down that route...

Hope that answers the question and sorry to all those who were expecting wedding bells....
 
Enclave said:
I believe Molly has elected not to share this forum with her OH. There is a good chance he feels so overwhelmed with his health problems he's not able to think how Molly is feeling. Therefor he's not being anything other than overwhelmed with his failing health.
I worry Molly, that he has said he cannot get up ... Is this due to his state of mind or pain ?
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@Enclave ....I believe his reason for saying he cannot get up is that he generally finds it difficult to wake up in the mornings.....I know he often gets up in the night because he says he can't sleep and then really goes to sleep in the early morning and sleeps through till about 11....am guessing this is partly due to badly controlled sugar levels...
.....today's episode was due to the fact that he had eaten cakes and chocolate whilst up during the night and I was in bed...he knows this and knows he shouldn't have eaten them - the cakes were only in the house because my mum and dad had been round, in hindsight I should have hid them...

I do feel that he has got into some bad habits with regards to sleeping like getting up during the night and coming back downstairs and not planning to get up at a regular time or what people expect as a reasonable time but it is a hard cycle to break....if he sorted this out I think it would help and would also ensure that he took his morning medication at the correct time and didn't skip breakfast...

His state of mind does seem a bit worse over the last week but am wondering if this is in part due to a change in pain medication...or as you say him being more aware of his failing health.....will discuss with nurse on Wednesday..
 
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