Managing Good Yet Feeling Tired.......type 1

[abcd99]

Dear friends,

As you all know from my previous posts that my son is diabetic type 1 since november 2017. Since then he has been managing quite well. His latest blood report was all normal. In Spite of all normal, he is feeling very tired. He was student of Physics but now he has left his studies as he feel stressed. He joined some course, but feels very tired..........I want to ask , if his blood report shows all well, then why is he so tired. Are the diabetic patients getting all the vitamins that body needs. why he has no energy.........as I had written in my past posts that he does not discuss anything with parents........I feel helpless .......please give me some information on this situation. Thanks a lot.

 

[DavidGrahamJones]

There are many reasons for feeling tired, some are not diabetes related and some are student related. It would be easy to say it's normal in that it effects a lot of people but it would be best to consult a doctor. There are many issues when starting college especially for a diabetic, but there's also a tremendous amount of support from the colleges themselves as well as organisations like diabetes.co.uk and diabetes.org.

 

[abcd99]

There are many reasons for feeling tired, some are not diabetes related and some are student related. It would be easy to say it's normal in that it effects a lot of people but it would be best to consult a doctor. There are many issues when starting college especially for a diabetic, but there's also a tremendous amount of support from the colleges themselves as well as organisations like diabetes.co.uk and diabetes.org.

Thanks a lot for your reply........yes there can be many reasons........I wish my son could sit and talk with us.... I just told him, may be he should ask doctor for some Tonic and he got angry.......it is impossible to discuss anything with him. This forum has helped me every time I looked for help. People like you come forward and help me to overcome my depression. I wish my son could understand this and discuss his feeling with someone.....if not parents.......I see that you have also gone through lots of ups and downs since 1971...wow!!!!........God bless you.

 

[Robin101]

Young adults are complicated. Very. As said by others this could be a medical issue. T1 brings many of those, it could be unrelated to T1, it could be the stress of college, or just that teenagers need much more sleep as their hormones rebalance and the structure of their brains changes.
Your soon probably does need additional support and guidance.
The trap is trying to guide your son in the path that YOU see for him.
It is probably initially more effective to support him in his choice.
You say he has dropped Physics but has started some other course. Which seems to say that you were OK with Physics, but you are so Not OK with his new studies that you aren't sure even what it is.
Maybe he found Physics too intense and correctly chose to drop this and change - which may be a good choice for him?
My honest advice, from experience is that you as parents seek guidance in how to connect with your son and support him in what he wants to do.
Learn to accept and work with his (in your view) wrong choices.

 

[DavidGrahamJones]

. . . .I wish my son could sit and talk with us . . . .

I wish I could give good advice. My only experience in dealing with young people is at the opposite end of the scale. My 18 year old nephew has aspergers and despite doing well at 'O' level and studying for 2 years for his 'A' level, just decided not to go into school to take the exams. As I say, the opposite end of the scale to your situation.

I can say that in my case, when my BG goes high, I'm not a very agreeable person, I have to make efforts to keep my mouth shut, especially with my nephew because I frequently want to tell him what for, but know that is pointless.

 

[Mbaker]

A couple of areas that will not cause harm are to look at after meal blood glucose readings at 30, 60 and 120 minutes to see if there is are major drops - if so perhaps some minor adjustments until this is smoother. Sleep is an easy one, ensure enough with quality, for me this is in the top 3 of variables for everyone.

 

[abcd99]

Young adults are complicated. Very. As said by others this could be a medical issue. T1 brings many of those, it could be unrelated to T1, it could be the stress of college, or just that teenagers need much more sleep as their hormones rebalance and the structure of their brains changes.
Your soon probably does need additional support and guidance.
The trap is trying to guide your son in the path that YOU see for him.
It is probably initially more effective to support him in his choice.
You say he has dropped Physics but has started some other course. Which seems to say that you were OK with Physics, but you are so Not OK with his new studies that you aren't sure even what it is.
Maybe he found Physics too intense and correctly chose to drop this and change - which may be a good choice for him?
My honest advice, from experience is that you as parents seek guidance in how to connect with your son and support him in what he wants to do.
Learn to accept and work with his (in your view) wrong choices.

No No.........I have no objection at all if he dropped physics..........in fact I told him do whatever you feel is good for you as long as you are happy. I am his mother and deeply hurt inside to see my healthy son turned into diabetic son....my tears don't stop......it is so hard when I see that he is now not free to enjoy food and drinks that he enjoyed , I don't feel like cooking any more..... he is so young and full of life and now turning into tired, sad ,lonely...........with rare smile............it is killing me........I am dying every day. I want to talk to him, I want to help him.....but he does not want to talk about it........what should I do.......I can suggest some help, but he does not want my suggestion.........believe me all that I want is to see him happy.........thanks for you reply.

 

[abcd99]

I wish I could give good advice. My only experience in dealing with young people is at the opposite end of the scale. My 18 year old nephew has aspergers and despite doing well at 'O' level and studying for 2 years for his 'A' level, just decided not to go into school to take the exams. As I say, the opposite end of the scale to your situation.

I can say that in my case, when my BG goes high, I'm not a very agreeable person, I have to make efforts to keep my mouth shut, especially with my nephew because I frequently want to tell him what for, but know that is pointless.

sorry to read about your nephew............there are so much suffering in this world..........I have really started to hate everything....I think we should stop bringing more children in this world..........the world is becoming hell. We give so much love to our children but life is so cruel........it gives pain and suffering.........the whole family of sick person is being punished........I feel so depressed.

 

[abcd99]

A couple of areas that will not cause harm are to look at after meal blood glucose readings at 30, 60 and 120 minutes to see if there is are major drops - if so perhaps some minor adjustments until this is smoother. Sleep is an easy one, ensure enough with quality, for me this is in the top 3 of variables for everyone.

Thanks for your reply Mbaker, yes you are right.........my son is not sleeping enough and we tried to tell him that. I hope God will help him to find someone who will be a good friend with whom he can share his pain and also a good advicor who can guide him in right direction...........all that I can do is to hope.........hope for something that will bring back happiness in my son's life.

 

[kitedoc]

Hi @abcd99, Perhaps first you need to see your own doctor to find help with your own grief and worry.
As powerless as you might feel about your son, your own health may be suffering.
Part of being a parent seems to be having to stay strong for when he might turn to you at some stage in the future for help or whatever.
And I wonder how his father is coping?. It may be that his father, an uncle, aunt, cousin is the one who might be able to find some common ground with your son, as much as that might feel hurtful to you.
Also there are often health and counselling services at colleges/universities and hopefully your son is aware of such services.
At his age you are not likely to have any right to access his health records or question his doctor about him.
Whether you can send a message about your concerns (what he has said, how he acts/behaves, ? sleep? mood etc) to his doctor/dsn and be prepared to leave it at that unless something significant comes to light ? e.g. new family history of illness etc?
Remaining open, seeking help/advice for yourself, keeping busy but not over-vigilant ?
My Best Wishes to you, your son and your family.

 

[abcd99]

Hi @abcd99, Perhaps first you need to see your own doctor to find help with your own grief and worry.
As powerless as you might feel about your son, your own health may be suffering.
Part of being a parent seems to be having to stay strong for when he might turn to you at some stage in the future for help or whatever.
And I wonder how his father is coping?. It may be that his father, an uncle, aunt, cousin is the one who might be able to find some common ground with your son, as much as that might feel hurtful to you.
Also there are often health and counselling services at colleges/universities and hopefully your son is aware of such services.
At his age you are not likely to have any right to access his health records or question his doctor about him.
Whether you can send a message about your concerns (what he has said, how he acts/behaves, ? sleep? mood etc) to his doctor/dsn and be prepared to leave it at that unless something significant comes to light ? e.g. new family history of illness etc?
Remaining open, seeking help/advice for yourself, keeping busy but not over-vigilant ?
My Best Wishes to you, your son and your family.

Dear kitedoc......thank for you reply.There was so much love and care in your few words..........unfortunately there is nobody in the family so close. We have not even shared this with anyone yet........because may be my son will not like it. It is completely up to him if he wants to take help from health and counselling services........his behaviour with his father is same as with me....we are parents who are just hanging in the middle..........neither can we see him suffering nor we can help him .......all this because he does not want ......... Yes I keep myself busy at work.........try to listen music .......so that I can feel better.....thanks again for your concern.

 

[kitedoc]

Hi @abcd99, Perhaps first you need to see your own doctor to find help with your own grief and worry.
As powerless as you might feel about your son, your own health may be suffering.
Part of being a parent seems to be having to stay strong for when he might turn to you at some stage in the future for help or whatever.
And I wonder how his father is coping?. It may be that his father, an uncle, aunt, cousin is the one who might be able to find some common ground with your son, as much as that might feel hurtful to you.
Also there are often health and counselling services at colleges/universities and hopefully your son is aware of such services.
At his age you are not likely to have any right to access his health records or question his doctor about him.
Whether you can send a message about your concerns (what he has said, how he acts/behaves, ? sleep? mood etc) to his doctor/dsn and be prepared to leave it at that unless something significant comes to light ? e.g. new family history of illness etc?
Remaining open, seeking help/advice for yourself, keeping busy but not over-vigilant ?
My Best Wishes to you, your son and your family.

And another thought is if he wishes to post on this site. His identity is protected, others have posted questions about tiredness and he can receive the experience of others, not, of course, professional advice, but even knowing that others may have similar problems is at least a recognition that he is not alone in this.
Strange is our situation upon Earth. However, there is one thing that we do know - that man is here for the sake of other men, above all, for those upon whose smile and wellbeing our own happiness depends and also for the countless unknown souls with whose fate we are connected by a bond of sympathy. Albert Einstein.

 

[kitedoc]

Dear kitedoc......thank for you reply.There was so much love and care in your few words..........unfortunately there is nobody in the family so close. We have not even shared this with anyone yet........because may be my son will not like it. It is completely up to him if he wants to take help from health and counselling services........his behaviour with his father is same as with me....we are parents who are just hanging in the middle..........neither can we see him suffering nor we can help him .......all this because he does not want ......... Yes I keep myself busy at work.........try to listen music .......so that I can feel better.....thanks again for your concern.

100s of hugs to you both !!!!

 

[Circuspony]

No No.........I have no objection at all if he dropped physics..........in fact I told him do whatever you feel is good for you as long as you are happy. I am his mother and deeply hurt inside to see my healthy son turned into diabetic son....my tears don't stop......it is so hard when I see that he is now not free to enjoy food and drinks that he enjoyed , I don't feel like cooking any more..... he is so young and full of life and now turning into tired, sad ,lonely...........with rare smile............it is killing me........I am dying every day. I want to talk to him, I want to help him.....but he does not want to talk about it........what should I do.......I can suggest some help, but he does not want my suggestion.........believe me all that I want is to see him happy.........thanks for you reply.

I get tired with diabetes. I was diagnosed late in life so I know what I was like before and I know it is harder now. It takes the body time to adjust and maybe it never goes back to how it was. We need to learn to live with how it is now.

It sounds like you cook for your son. So when you are cooking how about tasty low carb food that won't affect his BG levels? I hate it when my husband cooks and the food is full of carbs and sweet puddings which make me feel unwell. He doesn't mean it, he just tried to cook the same stuff we've always eaten - but I need to make adjustments.

All you can do for your son is be supportive and help him with the right kind of food to manage his disease.

 

[kitedoc]

100s of hugs to you both !!!!

Importantly do not blame yourselves for anything. But discuss with your doctor what is happening with your son as objectively as you can, not in seeking a diagnosis but so that your doctor , knowing your history, your family's history and your concerns can best advise you on anything you might need to observe unobtrusively about your son's behaviour and general health in your son's best interests. Professionals have experience in thinking about what things may cause what symptoms related to age, development, present illnesses, genetics and so on.

 

[DavidGrahamJones]

. . . . . . sorry to read about your nephew

Don't be, my wife worked with a guy with Asperger, and he had been to Cambridge got a good degree, married a lovely lady, has two lovely daughters and has a very good job. My nephew is a genius with computers and not just games, the nitty gritty stuff, he just needs to apply his talent, when he eventually listens to my brother.

I feel so depressed.

Please don't feel depressed. Easier said that done I know.We live in strange times and I my grandparents said the same. My grandad couldn't even tolerate the Beetles. There are too many people in the world, but that doesn't change the basic instinct to procreate. I don't have children myself, but I wouldn't think of encouraging anyone to follow suit.

 

[abcd99]

I get tired with diabetes. I was diagnosed late in life so I know what I was like before and I know it is harder now. It takes the body time to adjust and maybe it never goes back to how it was. We need to learn to live with how it is now.

It sounds like you cook for your son. So when you are cooking how about tasty low carb food that won't affect his BG levels? I hate it when my husband cooks and the food is full of carbs and sweet puddings which make me feel unwell. He doesn't mean it, he just tried to cook the same stuff we've always eaten - but I need to make adjustments.

All you can do for your son is be supportive and help him with the right kind of food to manage his disease.

Thank you so much for your reply...........all of you help me a lot to be strong..........I am trying........Hope someday God will forgive us and then there will be no more diabetes.........hope some day.

 

[abcd99]

Don't be, my wife worked with a guy with Asperger, and he had been to Cambridge got a good degree, married a lovely lady, has two lovely daughters and has a very good job. My nephew is a genius with computers and not just games, the nitty gritty stuff, he just needs to apply his talent, when he eventually listens to my brother.



Please don't feel depressed. Easier said that done I know.We live in strange times and I my grandparents said the same. My grandad couldn't even tolerate the Beetles. There are too many people in the world, but that doesn't change the basic instinct to procreate. I don't have children myself, but I wouldn't think of encouraging anyone to follow suit.

God bless you all.

 

[abcd99]

Importantly do not blame yourselves for anything. But discuss with your doctor what is happening with your son as objectively as you can, not in seeking a diagnosis but so that your doctor , knowing your history, your family's history and your concerns can best advise you on anything you might need to observe unobtrusively about your son's behaviour and general health in your son's best interests. Professionals have experience in thinking about what things may cause what symptoms related to age, development, present illnesses, genetics and so on.

Thanks for everything.

 

[JohnEGreen]

This is just a thought but your son seems to be exhibiting many signs of clinical depression. And if you think that may be the case then it may be that even though he has a negative reaction some gentle persuasion for him to seek counseling or just to talk it over with his doctor. May be indicated.

Some of the signs of depression can be:

Things you may do …

Stop doing things you used to enjoy
Have trouble getting things done
Are unable to focus
Remain in your home for long periods of time
Pull away from loved ones
Use alcohol or sedatives excessively

Things you may think …

“I’m worthless”
“I’m not good enough”
“I deserve to feel like this”
“I will never be happy”
“This is my fault”
“Life is not worth living”

Things you may feel …

Guilt
Irritability
Anger
Frustration
Unhappiness
Indecisiveness
Disappointment
Sadness
Things you may experience physically:
Lethargy
Feeling sick and run down
Having headaches and body pains
Having an upset stomach
Irritabile bowels
Insomnia or excessive sleeping
Extreme weight changes and appetite changes

https://beyondtype1.org/depression-and-its-relationship-to-type-1/