Scandichic
Well-Known Member
- Messages
- 3,708
- Location
- Hampshire
- Type of diabetes
- Type 2
- Treatment type
- Tablets (oral)
- Dislikes
- Michael Gove and his insane educational? policies!
- FOR SALE : Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. Best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything.
- “When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.” Sacha Guitry
- “After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.” Hemant Joshi
- “By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” Socrates (Philosopher)
- “Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.” Alexander Dumas
- “The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is, “What does a woman want?” Sigmund Freud
- “I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.” Anonymous
- “Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.” Henny Youngman
- “I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.” Sam Kinison
- “There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.” James Holt McGavran
- “I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn’t.” Patrick Murray
- “Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming:
1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you’re right, shut up.” Nash - “The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.” Anonymous
- “You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.” Henny Youngman
- “My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.” Rodney Dangerfield
- “A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.” Milton Berle
- “Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.” Anonymous
- A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: ‘Wife wanted.’ Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: ‘You can have mine.’” Anonymous
- First Guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel!” Second Guy: “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.” Anonymous
