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Maybe I shouldn't be testing.........

C

chocoholicnomore

Well-Known Member
Messages
639
Location
Scotland
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Tablets (oral)
Maybe I shouldn't be testing after all. Maybe the NHS guidelines are right. Maybe testing just causes more problems. Maybe I should just shoot myself.........

I am fed up with all the swings and roundabouts. I am fed up with either being really good or really bad. I know I am the only one to blame and I know I am the only one who can take control. I just wish it was that easy.

That's me had another 8 chocolate digestives tonight and it's only 9.30pm! When I am really good I can't get my fasting level below 6. However, after eating 8 chocolate digstives last night and with no exercise I had my personal best FBG this morning at 5.5. So, tonight I think "well they didn't do me any harm last night". I know they will in the long term but it's so hard trying to convince myself. I originally bought the packet as I intended to reward myself with 1 each night but ONLY if my 2hr post meal reading was good. Thought that would be a good incentive. Best laid plans.............

Now I am beginning to think that if I don't test anymore then maybe the fear of my BG levels going high would stop me eating rubbish. Maybe me being able to see that it's not having the effect that I expected is a bad thing for me personally. Oh I don't know anymore........

I just can't seem to get back to the way I was before Christmas.

On Saturday night I was in alone and both kids were out. I decided to "treat" myself to some chocolate to cheer me up. However, just before I went out to drop my daughter at her friends, I read a really good post from Didie (can't remember the thread). Well, I stood looking at all the chocolate but kept thinking of her words. I ended up lifting a bag of nuts instead.

If you are reading this Didie, I am just wondering if you could move in with me for a few weeks to get me back on track :lol: :lol: :lol:

Seriously though, if any of you have any advice or thoughts or experience that you can share with me I would be so grateful.This forum has been a massive help to me so far.

Thanks.
 
I can't move in with you, but I'm at the other end of the phone anytime you want :)

When I'm tempted to munch I think to myself am I worth more than this - for example chocolate biscuit and I am, so I don't. The difference for me is that I've had my major diabetic complication before I even started and that's my incentive, along with being a bit of a control freak. I am sure that if I hadn't had my stroke and was just diagnosed with diabetes I'd find it hard to get to grips with.
 
Just a suggestion Marina, perhaps you should treat chocolate biscuits as something you have an allergy or intollerance to. Having this in mind, every time you look at them, you avoid them. Another thing I would suggest would be to leave them in the shop ...
 
That's a great idea :) I don't buy things that I might be tempted to munch on. This house is a Twiglet/crisp-free zone.
 
I feel for you chocoholicnomore and I really appreciate your honesty in the posts you make. Please don't give up.

I think you have to consider that if you just gave up testing one of two things would happen.

If you didn't "worry enough" then pretty soon you'd be down the slippery slope.

If you "worried too much" then the anxiety about worrying about your levels would pretty soon get to you and you'd be at the gp's getting tranquillisers to stop the worry and that would mean you wouldn't worry enough and you'd soon be down the slippery slope....

Trouble is once you've started testing I don't think any of us who do it can easily stop.

As didie says you are worth so much more than 8 chocolate digestives.

Please take care
 
Thank you all so much for your thoughts and advice. You really don't know how much I appreciate all your support. This is such a difficult time.

Thanks again

Marina
 
I feel for you too chocoholicnomore.

I've read most of your posts since you've been on here and I realize how difficult it must be when you love chocolate so much, but you're 'really' trying hard, and have been doing well, so don't beat yourself up if you have a few lapses.

You've also already helped alot of people on here, which is great. Keep trying, but be gentle with yourself. :)

Helena
 
Choco, you've got to stop fooling yourself. You said you had 8 digestives before bed and had a good FBG, but what was it all night? And if it was high all night, what did it do to your averages? All the time you're having them as treats, you're like a smoker having an occasional fag. The one fag soon becomes 10. You need to look at them as just something you can't have anymore; like peanuts to someone with a nut allergy. You did it before Christmas so you can do it again. Best wishes.
 
I've finally ditched the chocolate from my avatar. Just need to ditch it from my life.

Grazer, I never thought of it like that. Thank you for letting me see it from another perspective. I keep thinking I am "getting away with it" but you are right-I'm not.

Tomorrow is another day..........
 
Now then Missus..what's all this about eh? :wink:

If you stop testing I shall be on the first train North of the border..or else I shall ask Didie to sort you instead!
Seriously Marina..you know what's the right thing to do. I think it's safe to say that for both you and I, it is not really about the food but what is going on that drives us to eat.
I still think in terms of "treating" myself with something tasty and carby, then I get the hump because I'm an adult who can **** well eat what she wants..but we can't can we? We have got to change our way of thinking regarding food being a treat. I'm with you on this because I struggle every day but I can tell you that the meter is your best friend. If you weren't testing, out of sight out of mind is a trap all to easy to fall into..if you can't see the damage that's being done it's easy to ignore it. That's how I hit my first 17 bg a few weeks back.

Even if you are getting low bg's, you know they are going to creep up and kick you in the butt. I woulod concentrate your testing after your meals and keep looking at the site for support..maybe before you head off shopping post for some back up!

I used to do that on another forum when I packed in ciggies, it was the support of the people there that helped me through. Maybe try it?

By the way..you are not good or bad according to what you eat. We think you're great :D
 
chocoholicnomore said:
That's me had another 8 chocolate digestives tonight and it's only 9.30pm!
Click to expand...

I'm shocked and disappointed choccy. You wasted all those carbs on digestives when you could have been eating chocolate hobnobs! Everyone know that those are the diabetic binge biscuit of choice!

Seriously choccy, you've done really well. Don't throw it all away over a few biscuits.
 
borofergie said:
chocoholicnomore said:
That's me had another 8 chocolate digestives tonight and it's only 9.30pm!
Click to expand...

I'm shocked and disappointed choccy. You wasted all those carbs on digestives when you could have been eating chocolate hobnobs! Everyone know that those are the diabetic binge biscuit of choice!

Seriously choccy, you've done really well. Don't throw it all away over a few biscuits.
Click to expand...

Biscuits! don't waste carbs on those... cheese and onion pasties is where its at!!
 
Have you tried snacking on a few nuts 'chocoholicnomore'?

I was never one for eating nuts, but bought some almonds and walnuts, and I keep the bags in the kitchen on the work top, so if I get a craving, I take a small handful. It really works, as they're quite filling, and take the 'edge' off. And with almonds being sweetish, they're quite a good snack to have while watching tele at night. :)

Helena
 
Helenababe said:
Have you tried snacking on a few nuts 'chocoholicnomore'
Click to expand...

Don't tell anyone, Helena, but I had half a bag of peanuts before the digestive biscuits :oops: :oops:

Oh I feel so bad now seeing it written down. I am ashamed of myself. I think I should join chocoholics anonymous. I promise to be good from tomorrow......
 
Dont beat yourself up over a few chocy biccies we've all done it, finish the pack and then just dont buy them again if you feel the temptation too much. I'm like that with grapes :oops: So I dont buy them any more :thumbup:

Your doing really well, just stick in there and keep up the good work, its just like stopping smoking it gets easier bit by bit, every day, week, month and year :D
 
Hey chocco hope you are feeling better today. Meant to post his for you this morning but got distracted in another thread :)

On resisting bad things...

Been reading a book which says if you sit a child in a room with a sweet on a table and tell them not to eat it for as long as possible then have another set of children doing the same thing but you also tell them to imagine that the sweet is a "picture of a sweet" then those children hold out three times longer. Maybe it would work with you as well! :wink:
 
Hopefully those naughty chocolate biscuits have been taken to work and temptation is away. If there are any around and any other tempting goodies as well, I'd throw them in the bin as a symbol to yourself that you're taking control and you don't need them around any more to tempt you. If I know something is going to tempt me I throw it out so it is gone. People might think that is wasteful, but my health is more important.
 
Your honesty shines through your posts sweetie , Im feeling for you, its so hard sometimes,
But you are right, You are worth more xxx
Be strong, you will get there
Alison x :D
 
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