Men - Are you embarrassed to post on sexual problems related to diabetes ?

[videoman]

Do you live some were in a "funny" farm,if you had read my post I said a drug trial and it was not Insulin

 

[Kyambala]

I am 58 and with no partner because of df and not likely to get one,ive tried everything but nothing works so that's that.

Hello "mrroderickdhu". Are you by any chance on Statins? I was on Statins for mot of my "Diabetic" life of 20 years and suffered from ED so the Doctor prescribed Viagra. I stopped the Statins September 2015 and now the ED has much improved and I don't need Viagra.

I had my 6 monthly Diabetic check-up yesterday. On the issue os Statins I told the DN that I stopped my Statins over a year ago after reading an article written by a Reporter on the Guardian who said that he had been suffering from "memory loss" and that his memory returned after he stopped taking Statins.

My memory is now much better since I stopped taking Statins and also ED has improved. She burst out laughing - composed herself - and then typed this information into her computer. Perhaps I missed the joke. She has also booked me down for a "memory test" with my Doctor. Life gets complicated.

 

[Kyambala]

Myself and Mrs G have now been married for 42 years. The bond between us does not depend on such matters. We have been through very good times and some truly awful times.

Every thing that life has thrown at us has made us stronger and closer we are above all the best friend either of us have.
And I do not believe there is anything on God's Earth that can brake that bond.

We can discuss anything and if there is a problem together we can sort it out so no I am not embarrassed by this topic as I have already discussed with the only other person who is affected by it.

Must add I see no reason that should prevent any one commenting in this thread male or female

Well said John. If husbands and wives cannot talk to each other about "intimate" subjects then something is sadly wrong with the marriage. Also, |I think women are more understanding about ED than we men give them credit for. Perhaps we NEED more women to talk us through this problem - even if our manhood is on the line. So, thank you ladies.

 

[SPSayan]

I think it is common for men not to talk about such topic. One reason that I can guess is that they had this idea of making it seem ok even though it's not. Well, it's hard to admit that there's something wrong actually. It takes a long time for some to accept the situation and maybe for others, it's better to address the problem themselves without the need to 'share'. However, it would be a great platform to share thoughts, experiences and such here. Who knows, it may help other people who are in the same boat.

 

[Kyambala]

In a previous post I welcomed the ladies to post on this thread - but now the thread seems to have dried up and I wonder if it is because ladies are posting on something which men feel uneasy talking about.

I personally must admit to choosing my words very carefully because of the delicate subject matter. Yet I still think MEN should open up a little more in order to help other men.

 

[Kyambala]

In a previous post I welcomed the ladies to post on this thread - but now the thread seems to have dried up and I wonder if it is because ladies are posting on something which men feel uneasy talking about.

I personally must admit to choosing my words very carefully because of the delicate subject matter. Yet I still think MEN should open up a little more in order to help other men.

Perhaps the problem of male embarrisment could be solved if ONLY men were to post on this subject even though ladies could still read it. Or would it be necessary for ladies to be excluded altogether?

 

[Kyambala]

Perhaps the problem of male embarrisment could be solved if ONLY men were to post on this subject even though ladies could still read it. Or would it be necessary for ladies to be excluded altogether?

COME ON MEN - EITHER AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH ME. YOUR COMMENTS COULD HELP OTHER MEN.

 

[Squire Fulwood]

COME ON MEN - EITHER AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH ME. YOUR COMMENTS COULD HELP OTHER MEN.

See posts #23 and #25.

 

[Kyambala]

See posts #23 and #25.

Yes Squire I read your posts and we seem to agree on most things - but it seems difficult to encourage men to OPEN UP.

 

[Squire Fulwood]

- but it seems difficult to encourage men to OPEN UP.

I think it was OP's purpose to do just that but it ran aground as you have noticed. I don't have an answer to exactly why that is and even if you asked only men to post it seems like censorship and anyone can read it anyway.

 

[Jaylee]

Just been catching up on this thread....

It's kind of ironic. I feel as a guy it's inapropriate to comment on a "pregnancy" thread if it falters other than to say congratulations & tag a matriarch to help out....yes the guys can read it & learn to empathise. & be quite frank let em get on with it. Come to a happy conclusion & belay any apprehensions,of a prospective mother.....

However... This?!! & the previous & subsiquent post on page two?

If any one has a problem with a female posting support, then report it. If it has made anyone feel uncomfortable,

May just have "killed" any frank discussion on the subject. From the men.

This as a man is where I empathise... It may just happen to me someday!
But just because it hasn't happened to me yet.....?
I also feel appropriately that male moderators should only have a "hand" in threads like these..
Men do "banter". (Sometimes it appears brutally..) But that's just our way of enquiring/empathy/support....

 

[Kyambala]

I think it was OP's purpose to do just that but it ran aground as you have noticed. I don't have an answer to exactly why that is and even if you asked only men to post it seems like censorship and anyone can read it anyway.

Squire, there is censorship on these threads on these threads anyway. I have had 2 or 3 posts deleted in the past on other threads. Other people can, and do, read everything which is written on these threads. But some men find it very difficult to OPEN UP because they are still "hurting" - this situation is even worse if you KNOW that a woman is liable to confront you when you are "walking on glass". Before I married my present wife 24 years ago I could NEVER have written some of the things that I have posted on this Forum - even though I was married for 25 years to a previous lady whom I loved very much. She died of cancer in 1990.

The scars of my first marriage still live with me to this day - and this is not easy to admit. I still have "night mares" about her.

The experience of BOTH my wives has helped me in my ministry to help heal the wounds in other marriages. Marriage is supposed to be between a man and a woman who have very different life experiences and yet are committed 100% to supporting each other. Anything less is doomed to failure eventually. There will be tough times as well as lovely times - but if the man, for any reason, cannot communicate his inner feelings, hopes, desires, to the wife, who is the other half of him, then that marriage has a sad future.

A Forum like this helps men to "OPEN UP" to reveal their inner "hurts" and uptain guidance from other men "WHO HAVE BEEN THERE". A woman CANNOT give that advice. Similarly, men CANNOT giving meaningful advice to women on their sexual feelings. As a pastor I have SUCCESSFULLY given advice to women living apart from their husbands on how men feel and react to living alone, and advised these wives on how to SAVE THEIR MARRIAGE. Neither MEN nor WOMEN want their marriage to break up - but they BOTH need advice on how to deal with difficult situations.

Both of my marriages have enabled me to have a better understanding about marriage relationships than college ever taught me. Because MEN find it difficult to OPEN UP to women.

 

[Squire Fulwood]

A Forum like this helps men to "OPEN UP" to reveal their inner "hurts" and uptain guidance from other men "WHO HAVE BEEN THERE". A woman CANNOT give that advice. Similarly, men CANNOT giving meaningful advice to women on their sexual feelings. As a pastor I have SUCCESSFULLY given advice to women living apart from their husbands on how men feel and react to living alone, and advised these wives on how to SAVE THEIR MARRIAGE. Neither MEN nor WOMEN want their marriage to break up - but they BOTH need advice on how to deal with difficult situations.

Both of my marriages have enabled me to have a better understanding about marriage relationships than college ever taught me. Because MEN find it difficult to OPEN UP to women.

I believe that the intention of the OP was laudable but it hit rocks and stopped and the question now revolves around whether women can advise men and vice versa.

I have a simple view. If I see a thread entitled "Ladies- ***** etc." I don't go there. I think that if I began to advise women about their lady bits I would be as welcome as a well known odour in a space suit. The comments in my earlier posts were to express surprise that the obverse is not true.

I don't know the answer to all this except to say that the ladies may well have advice about the emotional problems caused and offer comfort but the men probably are more worried about the physiological aspects and don't like to discuss them.

 

[Kyambala]

I believe that the intention of the OP was laudable but it hit rocks and stopped and the question now revolves around whether women can advise men and vice versa.

I have a simple view. If I see a thread entitled "Ladies- ***** etc." I don't go there. I think that if I began to advise women about their lady bits I would be as welcome as a well known odour in a space suit. The comments in my earlier posts were to express surprise that the obverse is not true.

I don't know the answer to all this except to say that the ladies may well have advice about the emotional problems caused and offer comfort but the men probably are more worried about the physiological aspects and don't like to discuss them.

Squire, I think you hit the nail on the head. BUT men DO need to discuss this problem with OTHER MEN - otherwise they bottle-up the problem inside themselves and this can cause all sorts of problems - some of which have a bad medical effect on their bodies - and a devastating effect on their marriage.

DIVORCE is caused by a lack of communication.

 

[ME_Valentijn]

Marriage is supposed to be between a man and a woman who have very different life experiences and yet are committed 100% to supporting each other.

Or between two men. Or two women Any two adults in general, really.

 

[walnut_face]

@Kyambala like it or not this is an issue very few people will discuss, and even less so in an environment (on line) where they might attract trolls.
Just look at the reaction of the daily wail to a photo of Emma Watson in vanity fair. To discuss changing your pencil from a 8H to an 8B just isn't public bar talk.

I am not sure it is possible to exchange ideas and techniques in the same way that it is possible with Blood Sugars and diet. Either you have lead in your pencil or you haven't. Viagra may work for some, but it is a well recorded side effect of Diabetes

 

[Kyambala]

THANK YOU "Prem51" and others who have LIKED my recent posts on this thread - but please say you liked it on a POST so that OTHER MEN will see that it is not just Squire Fulwood & Kyambala who are interested in this subject. We MEN need to encourage OTHER MEN to TALK about their problems and that way we may find a solution.

Thank you all for your response - please try and put it in writing.

 

[Prem51]

A Forum like this helps men to "OPEN UP" to reveal their inner "hurts" and uptain guidance from other men "WHO HAVE BEEN THERE". A woman CANNOT give that advice. Similarly, men CANNOT giving meaningful advice to women on their sexual feelings. As a pastor I have SUCCESSFULLY given advice to women living apart from their husbands on how men feel and react to living alone, and advised these wives on how to SAVE THEIR MARRIAGE. Neither MEN nor WOMEN want their marriage to break up - but they BOTH need advice on how to deal with difficult situations.

Both of my marriages have enabled me to have a better understanding about marriage relationships than college ever taught me. Because MEN find it difficult to OPEN UP to women.

Many men will also find it difficult to open up to other men. Either because men are supposed to be 'strong' and not express their feelings. Or because they may be embarrassed to talk about what they regard as sexual inadequacy.
And they might not be in a marriage.

 

[Kyambala]

@Kyambala like it or not this is an issue very few people will discuss, and even less so in an environment (on line) where they might attract trolls.
Just look at the reaction of the daily wail to a photo of Emma Watson in vanity fair. To discuss changing your pencil from a 8H to an 8B just isn't public bar talk.

I am not sure it is possible to exchange ideas and techniques in the same way that it is possible with Blood Sugars and diet. Either you have lead in your pencil or you haven't. Viagra may work for some, but it is a well recorded side effect of Diabetes

Thank you walnut_face. I am trying hard to get MEN to put their "hurt emotions" to one side and just OPEN UP and communicate. I have learnt more about Diabetes and the side effects of different drugs from this Forum than I ever was told from my very good medical team because people who post EXPRESS THEMSELVES and post websites which have given me the answers I NEED.

Most men, in my experience, do have sexual problems at some time in their lives yet they don't feel able to discuss it with their Doctors. A Forum like this DOES present the opportunity for men to LEARN that other men have, or have had, the same problem and how they dealt with it. Anonymity of this Forum hides the identity yet allows freedom of discussion.

 

[novorapidboi26]

I agree Men shouldn't be embarrassed to communicate......and normally they aren't when it comes to problems with their meat and two veg, mainly because the functionality of it is high on the list of priorities...