I hear you. So the really big challenge is the mental one, and coping with disbetes2 will be the manifestation. It just is awful that we can’t control our lives . We just have to admire ourselves for all the good strategies we manage to follow each day. No day is a failure. Some days we manage to follow good strategies more than others. Just keep focusing on being proud that today you did well in many small ways , one of them was to reach out.