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Mixed emotions

S

Sweet as me

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Hi all

i've been diabetic 20 years today and i'm not sure if its this reason making me feel this way but i feel diabetes is ruining my life. As you can imagine in that time i've had so much information and contridicting theories etc. However, i'm not sure if i'm depressed or just simply the reason bad sugar levels. I've 'fallen off the wagon', with good control and not sure what sugars doing lately, which i know is all my fault, but i feel like i cant cope with them. Even when sugars are running good i feel the same, i still have no energy and generally feel run down all of the time.
The doctors tell you what you need to do but when the clock hits the end of their shift for them thats it, they dont have to do the injections, blood tests, go through mood swings, arguments etc. i feel its never ending but then i'm not sure if other problems are underlying, such as depression and not just diabetes that makes me this person that i don't want to be. i feel scared at what i may find. does anyone else get these depressive feelings with diabetes??
 
i certainly have downers from time to time i wouldnt go as far as depressed (my wife has suffered that most of her adult life), but yes i do get very moody and argumentative more often since diagnosis, and up until a couple of weeks ago I have larely ignored it as much as i could, my tablet taking was haphazard at best and for a few periods of months at a time completely ignored.

If i'm honest I think i can accept the fact now that after 3 years i'm a diabetic (type 2 diagnosed december 2007), but am I happy about it not at all, and i doubt I ever will be.

That being said my 3 years of on/off denial and stubborness has resulted in initial diabetic changes in my eyes, and the odd burning sensation in my feet when i go to bed so like it or not it was time to change. I started my low (ish) carb diet nearly 2 weeks ago and my average level has gone from 13.1 to 7.9, and with effort i can keep my levels around 6 spiking to 8-8.5 which a lot better than the 18's I was getting.

As for doctors, i try and avoid them as much as i can, the initial information that they gave me in hindsight seems to steer you towards foods that are loaded with carbs, no wonder I had a hell of a time controlling my levels at the start.

So no your not alone, and i'm pretty sure there a lot of people feeling the same way, were only human after all and having to think constantly about what your going to eat, what effect it will have on your sugars, remembering your meds, dealing with thier side effects, testing your levels etc etc is going to even try the patience of a saint so it's only natural from time to time you'll hate this disease and feel down, if you start getting to the point where you no longer want to get out of bed or have no enjoyment in anything you do then it would probably help to get some advice.
 
Diabetics are more likely to be depressed than any other group of people they say but I wonder if it is true depression? As stated above it seems perfectly rational to me to feel fed up and down.

When I am asked by the gp at my annual review {which seems to crop up about 3 times a year!
whether I am depressed by my diabetes i always reply that I am depressed by the TREATMENT of my diabetes.

The diabetic nurse in my present practice tries to hint that I am in denial when i disagree with her but I think the opposite is true. The implications of the whole dreadful business hit me right away.
None of my treatment has been successful to date. When It looked as if it was working for a short time the overnight [and temporary] drop in my bg caused complications. I felt fine before diagnosis , have felt dreadful since. I had been slim for almost 60 years before diagnosis have gained a couple of stone over the last few years thanks to glimeprrides and no amount of carb cutting or exercise helps.
Who would be happy about the situaion> You would have to be slightly abnormal or in denial to find
any positives .
It is a wonder that more diabetics are not treated for depressin. Mind you, when you look at some of the psychological help offered! ! Still it proides a chuckle.
if anyone has benefited from this please don't take offence- I am very pleased for you.
 
Hi,

I think when you live with a condition like diabetes and many others you are bound to feel fed up and like it ruins your life occasionally i know i've definately been there. for a long time i kept those feelings to myself and 'fell off the wagon' and it was like a spiralling problem, as wth bad control you will feel even crappier so it can get quite hard to get out of.

The key is knowing there is no shame in asking for help, even if its someone to talk to like a friend, partner or family. Or your doctor, diabetes specialist or even people on here with diabetes like yourself.

It's important you seek some sort of help as it's doing you no good feeling like this on your own, and i'm sure nobody needs to tell you the affects of not looking after your diabetes well. Just remember your doctor may clock off at 5pm but before then he/she is a doctor for a reason, trained to help you, but you need to ask unless your doctor is a trained physcic too :lol:

I hope you start to feel better soon :)
 
Hi

I would get your doc to check your vitamin D levels. Being deficient in vitamin D can make you depressed ... Been there - got the t-shirt!
 
Sweet as me,

There a recognised condition called 'Diabetes Burnout' which is associated with the daily grind of insulin injections, testing , hypo's/hyper's, clinic appointments,watching what we eat and drink as well as our long-term concerns which can all pray heavy on the mind, try talking this through with your family gp or discuss this with your diabetes nurse who should be able to help.

Nigel
 
Thanks for all the info everyone, it really helps to know i'm not alone! The millions of diabetic people in the country, it's comforting to know i'm not the only one to feel like this from time to time. This is the worst i've ever had it though. I keep worrying myself because i keep getting pains in my feet, eyes and lower back which all need to be checked, i know, but i just get scared they're going to say told you so, if i say that i'm finding it hard to look after myself and i have signs of nerve damage etc. I end up crying and crying and get myself in such a mess that i have a hypo and then goes round in a circle again. I snap at people all the time and i know i do it but i dont mean it. i dont mean to be this way, its just 20 years of frustration coming out.

I think i'm going to ask my diabetic nurse about 'diabetic burnout' and vitamin d too. I've never been asked about my mental health with coping with the condition or social aspects which i think are the hardest, or how to keep the motivation going with treatment.

Yes it is right with doctors, they are trained professionals and i think i need to bug them more to get answers or support i need, rather than snap at them because they haven't got a magic pill that will make it all go away.

Thanks for all your advice guys, this forum is a great idea. I'm off to book an appointment with the diabetic nurse and get some answers.
 
Thanks for all your advice guys, this forum is a great idea. I'm off to book an appointment with the diabetic nurse and get some answers.
Click to expand...

Ooh. I could feel all the positivity coming out of the screen! Well done :) Go get 'em girl!
 
yay, this is a good thread, sometimes it really helps to just admit it when it's hard work.
I hit the 20 year mark recently too. Am dealing with it by reminding myself just what good work I've already done by coping with it (well, sort of coping - I'm still alive anyway) for all this time.
Unbeliever - "whether I am depressed by my diabetes i always reply that I am depressed by the TREATMENT of my diabetes." - yes I 100% agree. The treatment, including people's attitudes, and frequently health professionals' ignorance, and just the amount of time it all takes up.
 
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