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My boyfriend's Diabetes Side Effects

Welcome to the forum Joy.

As you say you moved to a new city so he could pursue his career, I do wonder if his job/studying is making him stressed and this is why he has let his diabetes control slip which has unduly effected your relationship.

Stress can be an awful thing and not many people like to admit when there's a problem, probably his best bet would be to talk things over with his gp.
 
Hi Joy, I think it's possible your boyfriend is depressed. And I think you need to talk to people close to him like his parents or so if he doesn't want to talk to you about it.
 
I agree that may be your boyfriend should have a chat with his GP.

It is not imperative to have a workout regime though to achieve perfect or better diabetes control. If he has previously had this built in to his insulin doses then if he were to stop as you've said his basal and carb ratios are likely to change a bit.
 
Hi Joy
Welcome. Your boyfriend's lucky to have a girlfriend as caring and understanding as you are.

I'm trying to look at it from his perspective:
Dream job and educational possibilities.
He is scared of failing - maybe he's in a "one fail and he's out" environment, or perhaps he thinks he is.
Consequently, looking after the diabetes is taking a back seat, sounds as if the relationship is also moving back in priorities. This happens - key thing is to view the relationship as a long term thing.

He needs to realise that uncontrolled diabetes might also have a serious impact on his course and career.

I guess he's not a chap to be nagged into "behaving" and that pushing him too hard may seriously damage the relationship. (I know that there are some things I can only persuade Mrs P to do at the cost of our relationship). You need to manouveur so that he's persuaded to make good choices.
I guess if the BG gets under control, the libido will return.

Stay strong
Adam
 
Hi Joy, welcome to the forum. I am ashamed to admit that I know what you are going through, because I put my wife through what you are facing. I have provided an honest account of my entire journey with diabetes on the blog section of this website, including how I owned up to my problems and started involving my wife in managing my condition.
Have a read if you wish to, you can find it under the blogs section here: http://www.diabetes.co.uk/forum/blogs/
I think you have to be logged in to look at the blogs section.

If he will look at it, show it to your boyfriend too. Has he ever accused you of not knowing what he is going through? Use that to your advantage if he has. Say that you wanted to learn so that you could help. Show him the blog, and say you just want to know what he thinks of it.

Always remember that you are a kind and caring person, who has taken a big step in helping someone you care for. I hope that he sees that too. Best of luck, and keep posting.
 
I agree with the sentiments expressed by other members. However, all of your boyfriend's symptoms are caused by high blood sugars which has been confirmed by his latest lab/test results. It is apparent that your boyfriend is not testing his blood sugar levels frequently enough to make the needed adjustments/corrections for his elevated blood glucose levels. Mood swings, loss of libido, depression, are just a few of the symptoms that are very likely due to his elevated blood sugar levels. If he isn't able to go to the gym or engage in other exercise activities, then his insulin requirements may be greater than they were previously and he will have to compensate with increased doses based on the changes that will occur in his I:C ratios. Perhaps reading Dr, Bernstein's own experiences with his battles controlling his blood sugars may be useful to both you and your boyfriend.

Gary Scheiner, the author of "Think Like A Pancreas," has a fairly decent self-test on his website entitled "Knowledge & Skills Examination for Insulin Users" that is worthwhile exploring by all insulin-dependent PWDs. It can be an eye-opener for those complacent about their knowledge of insulin use and may provide an incentive to increase the ongoing/continuing education that those of us on insulin must embrace in our quest for better control over blood sugars because the alternative can be a creeping but progressive disaster. Good luck to you both.
 
Hi. It does sound like your boyfriend is depressed. I wouldn't worry too much about the gym membership; useful though it is. If he still has a good diet that is good and it is obvious that he is stressed about career and studies. He could get help with depression but I suspect he wouldn't admit to being depressed. Try to discuss his recent blood test results with him and find out what his Hba1C was and what was 'negative'.
 
Joy344 said:
However, things look a bit different in our relationship these days. We recently moved to a different city, so that he could pursue the career he wanted. Ever since we moved, he has completely stopped taking care of himself. He still eats somewhat healthy and takes his meds of course, but he has completely stopped going to the gym. We had numerous fights about him joining the gym in the last couple of months. He is fighting 100% against me, saying that he does not have time to go work out anymore, because he has too much work and has to focus on his studies. He won't even go jogging anymore. I even offered to pay for the gym membership and go work out together to motivate him. He refused the offer. Our whole relationship started going downhill because of all the arguments, and as a result I gave up on trying to convince him to stay healthy.
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Hi Joy,

welcome to the forum and sorry to hear of your concerns, being the partner of a diabetic is sometimes like being the partner of an alcoholic because diabetes is also a disease that takes a lot of understanding and I don't think anybody can answer all the questions.

I'm pleased for him that you are of the caring sort but I can say from personal experience that when you are trying to carve out a career, something that you want to do to be able to provide for a family one day, maybe, and you are studying and you are trying to look after your diabetes, exercise is not always going to get a look in. We all know the benefits of exercise, but the level of exercise has to be sustainable.

I am a little surprised when you say that your relationship is suffering just because he is not going to the gym, I feel a bit sorry for him, I know what it's like to have to work hard and study hard. Work can easily take over your life, it did with me and I'm not proud of that, it's just that I thought working hard to earn enough to buy a home, have a nice car, go on nice holidays was what I had to do. That in itself is stressful, and although doing exercise can help deal with that stress, if you haven't got the time, then you haven't got the time.

Different approaches might be helpful. His health is obviously the most important, how to achieve it is the problem and as important as we all know that exercise is, I think a temporary truce is required, look for other ways of keeping BG under control. You say that he eats somewhat healthy which is a very broad statement, you don't mention carb intake and if he's been doing a lot of exercise previously might be quite high. Perhaps looking into diet might be helpful. Eating less carbs as he's not doing so much exercise might be an idea. It's always been a question of balance and he's taken something off the scales, so something else has to change.

It's not going to be easy, because there's a whole lot of stuff going on in his life, career, study, diabetes, nagging partner (maybe), not exercising (lack of serotonin or whatever happy hormone we produce when exercising), this video sums it up.


 
Hi,

The guy sounds like a hard worker to me & has sacrificed certain aspects of his life temporarily in order to get on.. But loosing a grip on his health as he targets the long term prospects in an objective to do you proud...
This focus maybe compounding a feeling of guilt along with high blood sugars.. Trust me when i say the last thing you want is intimacy with a high BS. Its a bit like that "time of the month for women"..? ;) Sorry girls, it's the only way I could ever get to understand/empathise that time of the month..

Personally. Tackle this subject when the dude has a meter reading between 5 & 7.5mmol then Let the guy do the talking...
 
Hi Joy,

Can you say what foods your boyfriend eats in a typical day? Why do you feel he should avoid carbs after 5pm?
 
My suggestion would be have a look at some of the dietary suggestions & snack ideas the type 2s have come up with..

Yep, I'm fully aware of the limited options when I was a student & years later when touring with my band. It's bad enough for the non Ds.

Your painting a reasonable portrait of your fellas lifestyle. I even have a vague idea with regards to the night sickness after the "pizza party".?

There are things that stand out in this thread that only your bloke can deal with.. Get him to sign up? ;)
 
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