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My daughter is very scared please can anybody advise me

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5
My daughter has diabetes, aspergers, coeliac disease, she has peripheral and autonomic neuropathy, gastroparesis and diabetic foot ulcers, she has advanced proliferative retinopathy she is just 20 years old and is in continual pain due to the nerve damage and discomfort due to the gastroparesis, she has had four laser procedures to both eyes, her right eye has now no vision atall she is going to have vitreoretinal surgery on this eye within the next two weeks, her left eye is to have injections at the same time as the vitreoretinal surgery, she describes the vision through her left eye as like trying to see through screwed up cling film with black splodges, she broke down completely today in my arms, she is absolutely terrified of losing her sight, it is devastating for her and also for me as her mum as I cannot wave that magic wand to make it all go away as mums like to do, I am struggling and don't know who to turn to for help for her and also help for myself in coping, it is destroying me watching her having to suffer so much and she is so so young, we are living in an area where we have no family or friends nearby for support, I have found this site this evening and thought I would ask if any one out there has any helpful advice for us please?
 
Hello :wave:

Im just welcoming you and your daughter to the forum. I'm really sorry to read all the problems she has. If you go to the top of the website and enter some of the problems into the search box (top righthand) you should be able to read threads that might help you. Virtually every problem has been discussed.

I'm sure come tomorrow or over the bank holiday, others will send a msg to you.

How has your daughter gone about controlling her bg levels every day, how often does she test and does she inject insulin or take tablets.
 
Hello and welcome

I am so sorry to hear of your daughters medical problems, it must be devastating for you both.

Have you tried Diabetes UK for some help and advice, also the RNIB. Both of these organisations could be really beneficial to her.

Do you have a good relationship with your GP as a good one can sometimes move mountains for patients ( and families) ?

I wish you both well and I sincerely hope your daughter can get some respite whether its for her body or her mind. Keep on at the health services, don't give up. I know there are a few members on here who have or are going through similar eye problems, I am one of them and having an operation next week. It is a scary time and you can't help being concerned and anxious.

Take care and I'm sending you lots of good wishes your way.

Best wishes RRB )
 
No advice from me I'm afraid, I don't know about those conditions. Just a bit of solidarity from me :)

I hope someone comes along soon to offer advice
 
Hello .

Welcome to the forum and us all here . :wave:

It must have broke your heart to have this happen today .
It is hard for you to know what to do or say to her, I can imagine .

All you can do for now is simply be there for her .
With your love and strength behind her - she will get through one day at a time .
This way makes things feel more copable .
As with so many varying factors it can/will overwhelm [scare] her . I understand .
Coping is the main stay for her as things stand ...
Do things in small tiny steps - one day/thing at a time .
This will give her a sense of its do'able within her limits :)

Are you being supported by your own HCP's ?

In terms of help and support within the forum .
We do have a parents and younger members sub forums .
Where you can have other parents input and support to assist you .
Here they laugh and cry sharing both the good and bad days .
The younger members do the same too in their threads .
It can really help to talk/bond with others in the same or similar situation
Especially with no family being near by .

What town/county you live in ?
There are local support groups in some towns/countys in UK .
Here you would get the chance to meet up with others in person .

Please just ask the questions you feel/need to .
Wander around on the forum and rummage through the helpful posts .
We are here to help and support :thumbup:

Anna .
 
Hi. You have my sympathy and I can only provide general diabetes guidance and not pretend to guide you on what is a complex set of conditions. Yes, we need to know what her current treatment is if any e.g. tablets, insulin or nothing? Do you have a blood glucose meter as this is essential for anyone with diabetes to start to mange blood sugar. Diet is key to control and most of us will try to control carb intake to the extent necessary to keep blood sugar within range. Do come back with specific questions and more info so we can have a context to help. Your GP, of course, is the right place to start in managing the range of problems. BTW the best diet for coeliacs is often one that helps with diabetes control as grain-based carbs will often contain gluten that needs to be avoided amongst other foods. Have you sought guidance from one of the appropriate local charities for the aspergers such as Mind in addition to the more specific National ones?
 
My heart goes out to you and your daughter and I truly wish there was something that I could do to make it better.

I am useless to you, I am type 2 but have had diabetes related complications in the past, I found hope and encouragement through Diabetes Solution by Dr Bernstein, himself a type 1 diabetic.
Here is a link, you can read parts of it for free, just click on the list of symptoms on the right hand side of the page.
http://www.diabetes-book.com/readit.shtml

Sending comforting hugs,positive thoughts, you are in my prayers x x
 
It must be really hearbreaking for you waching your daugher suffer and not being able to help much as you say. of course you are helping just by being there but it is so hard for you hat you need help yourself.
You have done he righ hing in coming here.
There is always someone who has some helpful experience.
daibell is right as ever, Your daughter's problems could probably be helped by dietary advice but you do need o give a lile more infornmation.
Regarding the eye problems the vitrectomy will certainly help and the injecions often do too. What sort of injections do you know are they avastin?
I know there are other menbers wih Aspergeres who will understand he problems this can cause.

It is very important that you take care of and ry o get some help for yourself oo as your daughter is relyibg on you.
I
You are in a very diffficul position and should ensure hat your GP understands exacly what you are going hrough. Any one of these condiions on its own would be difficult.

Pleaase give some more detals about your daugher's diabetes and diet so members are able to support you.
 
I can't offer any useful advice above what has been said so far.
Just wanted to send some healing thoughts and hugs to you both.

I have proliferative retinopathy too; whilst not as badly affected as you daughter, I can totally understand her fears.
X
 
Thank you to everybody who has responded to my message yesterday, I very much appreciate that.
to answer some questions, my daughter was diagnosed with diabetes at the age of eight, insulin dependent, using levemir twice a day and novorapid for meals and correction doses. between eight and around thirteen years of age I was able to do all the monitoring/injections etc but when she reached thirteen she rebelled against her diabetes and would not let me do this any longer, she refused to let me come into school and do the necessary things for her (which I had been doing) the school were unable to monitor her, she just wanted to fit in and be like the other pupils and simply did not inject, and ate lots of sweets, fizzy drinks like her school colleagues,she tells me she only injected her levemir at bed time, she has had numerous admissions over the years between thirteen and eighteen due to ketoacidosis but still did not do what was necessary to look after herself, it was on the last admission to hospital with ketoacidosis in January 2012 that she woke and said she could not feel her feet, this was the sudden onset of peripheral neuropathy which has very rapidly got worse since then. at that point there was no damage to the eyes that we were aware of, she went every year for her diabetic eye screening I took her myself with no rebellion there from her. so the damage to her eyes has been very rapid and to use the eye surgeons word 'explosive'.
Yes, we do have a lovely GP who is very supportive and has referred us to specialist people but there is such a long waiting list apparently and it all takes time before we actually get to see anybody, we are in the Brighton area so I presume the waiting it is as its a heavily populated area?
My daughters appetite is affected due to the gastroparesis, she eats little amounts, she loves fruit, has an oat porridge at breakfast (oats affect some coeliacs but she does not get affected by oats, her weight has increased over the last 18 months from 8 stone to nearly 15 stone, this troubles her immensely, she is unable to get enough exersice due to the severe neuropathy and foot ulcers so is in the wheel chair a lot of the time, the gp thinks the weight gain is a combination of things, certain medications she is taking, lack of excersise her self esteem is very very bad, she hates her life she says. with aspergers she is very visual, used to take photographs everywhere, getting to places by recognizing visual cues, she cannot follow verbal directions properly, losing her sight is absolutely terrifying and she says she does not want to live like this, she is on all sorts of meds, oxycontin pregabalin venlafaxine duloxetine erythmirycin quetiapine buscopan this worrys me enormously, what must all these meds be doing to her, we tried to cut down some of them recently but she was again screaming in agony on the floor and we had to put the amount back up. I just feel so powerless & helpless, last night she said she dreads waking up in the morning incase she cannot see a thing,everyday seems worse with her eye sight, and she knows she has to have this vitreoretinal surgery within the next two weeks and is petrified of that. im sorry I am rambling, I think I just need to get my feelings out in the open, I actually feel that I am losing the plot myself here right at this moment in time and appreciate that there is someone out there who will at least listen, please please if there is any youngters out there with diabetes please please do your insulin injections try to avoid eating the wrong things, just to fit in, my daughter is just twenty and has lost her quality of life at a very early age because she did not inject and ate bad things in her teenage years, now she continually says 'I wish I had listened mum' these complications can set in very quickly and when your young too, it is a myth that it only affects older people who have had diabetes for many many years.
Thank you once agin for all your responses,
 
Hi! Always hear as a shoulder! Im so, so sorry to hear these problems. I cannot even begin to imagin how you and your daughter are feeling! Im really sorry i cant help, but i wanted to send love and hugs to you both and hope things can start to get better for your daughter. I too am in Brighton and know waiting lists and times are a nightmare! Always hear if you need support! XX

Sent from the Diabetes Forum App
 
I am so sorry to hear about your daughter and you you need support as much as your daughter needs help. I lived in Brighton for 20yrs and I had chatter aches which is not the same I know but w hen I was going blind I was very angry because of it not because I was going blind but more because I was losing my inderpendence. My husband had to give up work as we had young children at the time and kept burning myself on the cooker. But what I did was get in touch with the blind association and you will get lots of help like I did. To make you more independent there is gadgets that can help her with everyday things. Also they teach you to walk with a stick, plus there are audio books that you can get so you just put on to play and you can listen to novels. There are gadgets like when your making tea you put a gadget at the top of your cup or mug and an alarm goes of when its full. Dots that you can feel with touch can be put on microwaves. I can see now and type 2 diabetic cannot feel my feet got toes bandaged at moment I use a wheelchair as well. It must be hard with all the problems your daughter as my grandson who is 10 as just been diagnosed with autism lovely but hard work. Also lets not forget you you need to take care of yourself because if you don't who will take care of your daughter. If you look on the Internet you should be able to find we're they have meeting about autism and aspergas and blind society I have joined online diabetes uk, autism uk, asthma uk do hope this is some help to your daughter and you. Thinking of you both with love and hugs.xx


Sent from the Diabetes Forum App
 
My goodness, what a sad story. I can only hope that your daughter is now taking her insulin as instructed and measuring her sugars to avoid further damage. I can only re-iterate to try to keep the carbs as low as feasible for blood sugar control although if she is now taking her insulin the blood sugar may be better. The weight gain may be due to taking too much insulin to balance carb intake but I'm guessing as the other health problems may be contributing. I hope your GP can point you and your daughter to the relevant support services.
 
So sorry to read about the problems your daughter is experiencing, hopefully the specialist care she is about to receive will help manage some of the complications she is living with.

Best wishes to you both!
 
Thank you all once again for your responses, my daughter is now making an effort with her diabetes, I do her blood sugars very regularly throughout the day and sometimes the night too, it is so very hard to keep the blood sugars at a desired level, our diabetic nurse says with gastroparesis its more difficult and with my daughters stress and anxiety on top it complicates things further with her blood sugar readings but at least now she is making an effort.
 
Hi again

Has your diabetes nurse explained insulin to carb ratios to your daughter at all? Only it does help an awful lot in keeping bg levels a bit more level? Most diabetics using basal/bolus insulins start with a ratio of 1u for 10g carb and then adjust it up or down to keep bg levels ok before they eat a meal and what the bg level is 3hrs later.
 
Just another thought. You said you rdaughter is " terrified " of the eye surgery. Most people are. bu with all her other problems I hink she deserves extra help/
many hospitals have some sort of support for vision problems. In mine I know they have it but they do end to advertise it on very small card in areas where people are unlikely to notice it.

perhaps you could call the hospital to enquire. as the surgery is imminent they may be prepared to help and this could assist with the anxiety.

Best wishes to you both.
 
Many thanks for that, I will certainly check this out tomorrow as the bank holiday will be over then. My daughter is so scared of waking up and not being able to see anything, she is especially frightened that she will forget what we look like and won't be able to actually see her little nieces and nephews growing up, she is so overwhelmed with anxiety and scary thoughts, I have booked an appointment with her gp for tomorrow, the real fear of losing her sight on top of the continual pain from the neuropathy is totally over whelming her, she keeps telling me she hates her life and does not want to live like this, this is very worrying for me, I know that she dosent wish to end her life, she just dosent want to live with all the difficulties that she is experiencing. I feel so terribly sorry for her and feel so so helpless.
Thank you once again to everybody who has responded to my pleas for advice,
 
Hi

I hope that the GP visit will help ease some of the worry that your daughter is experiencing over the sight problems.

As she has numerous problems it might be worth her trying an insulin pump so your hospital might be able to help on that score or if they cant, a GP could refer to another hospital that has dsn pump trained. A pump can deliver a bolus in what is called a 'wave' and can allow it to be delivered in a staggered amount over a period of mins to hours. A pump is good for diabetics who have gastroparesis and even those who have limited sight can still use a pump.
 
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