Thanks Phoenix for that long and detailed response - add to that a very eratic pattern of meals, sleep and lifestyle in general and you can see why I have a problem. As a child the quality of my life was severly inmpeded by hemophilia and as soon as I reached the age where I had full control of my life I decided that "Hemophillia, and treatment for it, would have to adapt to my lifestyle not the other way around!" This worked well and I did things which most contemporary hemophiliacs would have avoided. When diabetes came along I took the same approach (after a few months of near depression). However with diabetes it isnt so easy to adapt the illness to fit your life - especially when a big part of my life evolved around eating nice foods (I use the work nice rather than good as often the two are not synonymous)
Despite all the upbeat comments and encouragemnt I read here, when it comes down to it good diabetes control is something that requires compromises in lifestyle and for someone who has never really accepted compromise that can be difficult. I am used to sleeping when I am tired, eating when I feel hungry and doing pretty much everything at the times I feel like it. (ok work has been a compromise but now I am close to retirement, and hoped for a completey free lifestyle, I am finding that diabetes may well continue to dictate to me - and to be honest I find that depressing.
when I am not at work then breakfast might be anytime from 6am until 2pm (as it was today!) and all other meals move correspondingly - I might sleep all aftrnoon and half the evening then stay up most of the night, go to late night cinema or shopping in tesco at 3am - that all makes it very difficult!