My mother is closed minded to my condition sometimes...

[Fayefaye1429]

There is a book called how to survive a family. They f you up is another book I kind of argue with the title. It should be I am awesome regardless of a f up parent! not in all cases obviously

 

[Fayefaye1429]

Mm I also think this could be a good book how to understand and accept your child regardless! As lots done I mean a child called it is an extreme bit excellent example

 

[vix107]

Hi all, this is something I'm not sure anyone else has experienced.. My mother is a nice person but she can be really judgemental and sometimes I feel she doesn't understand the struggles of being diabetic unless she's talking about my condition to someone else and looking for special treatment.

For example, if I get treated unfairly at work or by a stranger, she expects them to be well educated on diabetes and tells me to fight tooth and nail and get special treatment.

However, if it's a thing I'm struggling with because of my diabetes, like trying to lose weight on 30/70 insulin, or telling her I can't eat a particular food, then suddenly I become like any other person and I'm not allowed any other allowances. Tonight she asked if I wanted pasta for dinner since she's cooking, and I politely said, "I really can't eat pasta, it makes my sugar spike really badly." (Seriously, since giving up pasta, my levels have gone down by about 40% overall). She then proceeded to call me fussy and ridiculous, and started to really have a go at me.

I'm really hurt by this, if I was on basal bolus I could probably eat it, but 30/70 just doesn't give me enough coverage for large portions of carb heavy food. (Which I'm fine with as I prefer smaller meals). What can I tell her without sounding like a whiny hypochondriac? Whenever I have any health problems she always assumes "there's nothing wrong with you for god sake". I can't talk to her about anything like that. She even has a health problem herself and I feel she should be more understanding than, "there's a diabetic at work and he's fine".

Is he fine? Does he tell you all about his levels and problems? No, because she doesn't live with him!

ive had the same problem thrown at me by several people... im a hypochondriac etc etc sadly the one and only way of really getting through is to let rip back!! you have to be defensive over your health.... diabetes is a killer simple as that, if you don't look after it 24/7 ..... NO excuses and we get NO holiday from it and we cant give way to other people's ignorance!! harsh I know but really its just so important you cant beat about the bush!!! good luck xx

 

[ninjaelephant]

I have exactly the same issue with my gran. Every time I go to see her she will say I'm fat, ask how my diabetes is going and then offer me cakes and biscuits. She'll then 'remember' that I have diabetes and then says 'You probably shouldn't have one, but go on, it won't hurt'. However, the last time I saw her I'm embarrassed to say that I just snapped at her, angrily saying that she sends very mixed messages when she mentions my weight and diabetes and then offering me cakes, doesn't she realise how confusing it can be? Haven't seen her since, but we've spoken on the phone. Planning to see her next month so we'll see what happens then. I guess my comment would be to talk to your mum about it, rather than bottling it up. Try the doctor's orders approach, but if that doesn't work, I'd suggest you start cooking for yourself - maybe offer to cook a more sugar level friendly meal for the family.

 

[nina4]

Hi all, this is something I'm not sure anyone else has experienced.. My mother is a nice person but she can be really judgemental and sometimes I feel she doesn't understand the struggles of being diabetic unless she's talking about my condition to someone else and looking for special treatment.

For example, if I get treated unfairly at work or by a stranger, she expects them to be well educated on diabetes and tells me to fight tooth and nail and get special treatment.

However, if it's a thing I'm struggling with because of my diabetes, like trying to lose weight on 30/70 insulin, or telling her I can't eat a particular food, then suddenly I become like any other person and I'm not allowed any other allowances. Tonight she asked if I wanted pasta for dinner since she's cooking, and I politely said, "I really can't eat pasta, it makes my sugar spike really badly." (Seriously, since giving up pasta, my levels have gone down by about 40% overall). She then proceeded to call me fussy and ridiculous, and started to really have a go at me.

I'm really hurt by this, if I was on basal bolus I could probably eat it, but 30/70 just doesn't give me enough coverage for large portions of carb heavy food. (Which I'm fine with as I prefer smaller meals). What can I tell her without sounding like a whiny hypochondriac? Whenever I have any health problems she always assumes "there's nothing wrong with you for god sake". I can't talk to her about anything like that. She even has a health problem herself and I feel she should be more understanding than, "there's a diabetic at work and he's fine".

Is he fine? Does he tell you all about his levels and problems? No, because she doesn't live with him![/QUO

 

[nina4]

Doesn't it suck that someone you love and would do anything for, would neglect the fact that if you don't look after yourself you could loose sight, limbs and other horrid things from this condition...Really...It does seem they don't give a ****!!

 

[Lordy100]

Not sure how old you are or how long you have had Type 1 diabetes but you could consider changing your insulin regime to 4 injections a day something along the lines of novorapid/lantus. I was originally put on 30/70 but changed over to 4 injections which gives me much more flexibility regarding meals. Something else to consider or speak to your diabetic nurse about.

 

[ladyfernie]

Hey! Finally able to reply! I completely empathise with this issue with your mum. Mine is very strong minded and as much as she cares unconditionally and tries her hardest to understand, she will never accept that just sometimes there are issues with diabetes that are completely out of our control or that I can't have it perfect ALL the time. Personally with my mum I think she mostly feels guilt and her instinct to protect me gets shot down everytime something goes wrong. Just think, we may be the ones lying unconscious and unable to assist our diabetes to raise our sugars, but we don't have to endure the panic and constant worry of seeing us in that state and unable to fix it, at least not permanently. I'm alittle over 10 weeks pregnant (first time!) and have never experienced diabetes so badly! My mum is my rock and I feel heavy guilt for her having so much worry, but without her I wouldn't cope at all, especially at the minute. We used to have the kind of relationship where she would come to appointments with me and be as doting as possible, but never seemed to understand just how hard all the calculations can be and how differently my sugars react to certain foods. My body is majorly complicated and I have tried lots of insulin regimes, finally full circle and back to using the dafne program! It's been much better lately for my mum to learn with me, rather than trusting what I tell her. So maybe try sitting with your mum and reading about how your medication affects your sugars (sometimes seeing the charts and diagrams are easier to understand and better than reading about them!) and the same with different foods and how quick or slowly the sugars are absorbed. It also used to bug me when mum just never understand how important it was to not over treat a hypo. She'd rather me high than unconscious, but since reading about the damage high glucose does to a person she is much more sympathetic and understanding, she is interested in how insulin affects my sugars and how foods do too and how quick or slow acting the foods are. It's been very difficult, but I know that if we had carried on the way we were when I was at school then I wouldn't be very healthy at all and neither would our relationship! Not only does it help me that mum understands sugars better, but it has given her some confidence in knowing that even though some things are unpredictable, we can make it work and that I actually do care about myself. It's hard work but so worth the effort, especially now with having a tiny human to think about now too!

 

[brenda walker]

I have 2 sons just finished Uni and moved back in who can hardly talk in a civilized tone to either parent. A husband with his head in the clouds and only responds to football or F1. A father in law who is in better shape than me being over dramatic about his diabetes and treats me as a domestic slave and no other family. Me I am not coping and often think of running away. take charge of my life? I haven't got one. How nice to have someone who cares.

 

[Fayefaye1429]

I am sorry Brenda to hear your lack of support at the moment it sounds a very difficult place to be in.

 

[atr]

ugh. same thing. but my dad. he will turn to me and ask "you want ice cream? is very good". and he told me to completely stop taking injection Insulin and drink alot of bitter melon tea and it will go away. I will DEFINITELY not listen to him because recently I was on vacation and went into DKA it was painful and scary as hell I was unresponsive for 4 days. (like sleeping) I just don't understand what is he thinking. I keep telling him sighh