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Need some advice please.

S

sassywriter43

Well-Known Member
Messages
63
Okay, I need help. I need to raise my calories not massively but keep my carbs down. I am stuck in bed sobbing my heart out as hubby has just had a right go at me, he prepares my meals and I don't eat or I tell him what I want, and he has to weigh it out. I don't know if a print out will work - but here is yesterdays.
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Your Food Diary For: Prev Wednesday February 20, 2013 Next
Breakfast Calories Carbs Fat Protein
Add Food Quick Tools
Lunch
Ham - Lean Smoked Ham Slices, 1 slices 20 0 1 4
Lettuce - Iceberg (includes crisphead types), raw, 1 leaf inner 3 1 0 0
Celery - 1 Stick 15cm 30g, 3 g 1 0 0 0
Cucumber - With peel, raw, 0.2 cup slices 3 1 0 0
Add Food Quick Tools 27 2 1 4
Dinner
Mushrooms - Raw, 3 large 15 2 0 2
Celeriac - Cooked, boiled, drained, without salt, 100 g 27 6 0 1
Charcoals - Grilled Chicken Breast, 4 oz 156 0 6 25
Add Food Quick Tools 198 8 6 28
Snacks
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Totals 225 10 7 32
Your Daily Goal 1,000 25 33 150
Remaining 775 15 26 118
Calories Carbs Fat Protein
As you can see, calories was 225, Carbs were 10 Fat was 7 and protein was 32!!!
 
Why are you stuck in bed and having such an extreme diet..

Who has given you this advice?

Cant really see what you are asking to be honest...its hard to know how we can help when I personally dont know why hubby preparing meals, why he had go at you and ultimately... What you are trying to achieve??

Sorry to sound as if I'm harsh and not sympathising... But having just 10g of carbs in a day to me really does sound too extreme.... Same with 225 cals...
 
You what now?

Here's my advice:

1. Stop crying or whatever.
2. Tell your husband to BMU. [BE MORE UNDERSTANDING]
3. Calculate your calorific needs according to bodyweight.
4. Eat at desired range (surplus, deficit or maintenance) according to your goals. Don't eat at surplus if you're overweight.
5. Exercise.
6. Eat whatever you want, as long as you have a balanced diet, take your medication (Insulin, Metformin or whatever you're on)
 
I wouldnt tell hubby to BMU, I would take control of my own life, doing my own food, I really not understand why you are telling hubby what food you want and the poor man has to weigh it???

I note you have ME. I have fibromyalgia.. But be blowed if my hubby would ever wait on me weighing out and calculating lettuce leaves and a stick of celery...I have weighed out lettuce and onion once so I knew just exactly how much I could have of peppers, tomatos, eggs, onions etc... But be blowed for calculating a full blown analysis of everything...

Sorry, life is about balancing... I honestly think that you're diet is too extreme for me to offer any advice on raising cals, but not carbs...

But hope that this reply may bump you up to get a reply from people that can help...
 
Goodness me, no wonder you are lying in bed, I bet you have barely any strength eating what you do, its definitely not a healthy eating plan that you have got there.
Your devoted husband is probably worried sick, time for you to become a little bit more pro-active me thinks?! From your previous posts I see that you said that you are suffering from several food intolerances, have you been officially diagnosed with any of these or are you just nervous of eating certain foods?
I suggest you request an urgent referral to a dietitian, you have complex needs it seems.

I hope you will get the help that you so badly need, I wish you well.
 
I agree with above poster - get your surgery to refer you to a dietician ASAP. Then you'll have proper guidance and they should help you work out a proper plan, taking all your needs into consideration. Hope you get sorted soon!
 
I had ANOREXIA as a teenager! Sorry I am leaving this forum. IT was a dietician that got me into that mess in the first place! I DON'T like food. I thought I would ask for advice. I have had ME since my teens. My doctor is monitoring me. I wished I had never asked for advice in the first bloody place now if I am going to get ******* criticized! I am placed in the 10% severe group for my M.E. I am trying to turn my life around!!!
 
GlazedDoughnuts said:
You what now?

Here's my advice:

1. Stop crying or whatever.
2. Tell your husband to BMU. [BE MORE UNDERSTANDING]
3. Calculate your calorific needs according to bodyweight.
4. Eat at desired range (surplus, deficit or maintenance) according to your goals. Don't eat at surplus if you're overweight.
5. Exercise.
6. Eat whatever you want, as long as you have a balanced diet, take your medication (Insulin, Metformin or whatever you're on)
Click to expand...
AM NOT ON MEDICATION I HAVE M.E. AND M.C.S. SO CANNOT TAKE ANYTHING.
 
sassywriter43 said:
GlazedDoughnuts said:
You what now?

Here's my advice:

1. Stop crying or whatever.
2. Tell your husband to BMU. [BE MORE UNDERSTANDING]
3. Calculate your calorific needs according to bodyweight.
4. Eat at desired range (surplus, deficit or maintenance) according to your goals. Don't eat at surplus if you're overweight.
5. Exercise.
6. Eat whatever you want, as long as you have a balanced diet, take your medication (Insulin, Metformin or whatever you're on)
Click to expand...
AM NOT ON MEDICATION I HAVE M.E. AND M.C.S. SO CANNOT TAKE ANYTHING.
Click to expand...
AM BEDBOUND!! ALSO WHEELCHAIR - SO AM DOING WHAT I CAN. SHALL I ADD I HAVE NOT EATEN NOW FOR THREE DAYS AS THE ANOREXIA HAS RAISED ITS UGLY HEAD. I DO NOT TEST MY BLOOD GLUCOSE LEVELS EITHER! MY GP IS AWARE. DO YOU REALIZE WHAT POSTS LIKE THESE CAN DO TO SOMEONE WITH ANOREXIA AS A HISTORY?
 
WhitbyJet said:
Goodness me, no wonder you are lying in bed, I bet you have barely any strength eating what you do, its definitely not a healthy eating plan that you have got there.
Your devoted husband is probably worried sick, time for you to become a little bit more pro-active me thinks?! From your previous posts I see that you said that you are suffering from several food intolerances, have you been officially diagnosed with any of these or are you just nervous of eating certain foods?
I suggest you request an urgent referral to a dietitian, you have complex needs it seems.

I hope you will get the help that you so badly need, I wish you well.
Click to expand...

Thank you WhitbyJet, I have been offically diagnosed with these food intolerances, it was the M.E that set them off. It is because of the M.E that I am stuck in bed. I wished I weren't - I hate it. Hubby is worried sick, but it is just me. Dieticians cannot help, because it is them that got me into the mess in the first place. I'm in a bad place at the moment, and I think that I need some time out from places. I have had a stressful week and stress and M.E doesn't mix and it is the anorexia that shows first.
 
Hi sassywriter.

Things are certainly complex for you plus your limited mobility is a restriction too.

I 'GET' what you are trying to convey in your posts with your hubby preparing your food and lite bite meals.
As an anorexic it is a need for things to be weighed out and precise according to how and what you prefer to eat .
Your food intolerances will make a range of foods 'unsuitable' for you too !

Hubby probably got stressed with worry the other day and reacted with heated words "unintentionally" :)

Its all stress, worry and extra pressure isnt it ...
My suggestion is to try to take things in little steps - one small step at a time .
Things will feel 'more' managable and do'able this way . :thumbup:

As things start to feel less stressful - then you can begin to make the changes you feel
comfortable with .
This is the link to making any sort of progress - it has to be within your comfort zone .

I 'know' how things must feel for you and it is a hard place to be 'STUCK' in a rut or in limbo .
Things can feel so overwhelming and too much to cope with or handle .
When stuck - you worry mentally over it all - the take action over things - can only happen
later , when you can cope doing things within your own comfort zone

Your food intolerances will only add to the complexities of things .
It will make the journey of any progress much more difficult for you.
You will need to rummage about for heaps of info to find a possible option/road to
get around this .
Have you considered wheat/gluten/coeliac support groups? [as an option ]
With any information/knowledge to food intolerances.
Have you ever been tested for these conditions?
[I myself am wheat/gluten intollerant so do 'know' how a food intollerance can make you feel ]

Please feel free to PM myself if you wish.

Anna.
 
Sassy
I take the easy route and just avoid eating carbs as much as possible. I don't weigh anything, except once in a blue moon just to check. and I plan the menus mostly
My husband gets sneaky about putting carbs on the plate, but I wouldn't tolerate his "having a go" at me. And we're still married after 43 years!
Hana
 
sassywriter43 said:
sassywriter43 said:
GlazedDoughnuts said:
You what now?

Here's my advice:

1. Stop crying or whatever.
2. Tell your husband to BMU. [BE MORE UNDERSTANDING]
3. Calculate your calorific needs according to bodyweight.
4. Eat at desired range (surplus, deficit or maintenance) according to your goals. Don't eat at surplus if you're overweight.
5. Exercise.
6. Eat whatever you want, as long as you have a balanced diet, take your medication (Insulin, Metformin or whatever you're on)
Click to expand...
AM NOT ON MEDICATION I HAVE M.E. AND M.C.S. SO CANNOT TAKE ANYTHING.
Click to expand...
AM BEDBOUND!! ALSO WHEELCHAIR - SO AM DOING WHAT I CAN. SHALL I ADD I HAVE NOT EATEN NOW FOR THREE DAYS AS THE ANOREXIA HAS RAISED ITS UGLY HEAD. I DO NOT TEST MY BLOOD GLUCOSE LEVELS EITHER! MY GP IS AWARE. DO YOU REALIZE WHAT POSTS LIKE THESE CAN DO TO SOMEONE WITH ANOREXIA AS A HISTORY?
Click to expand...

What? You made this thread, you chose to provide limited information...Do you realise that this is a public forum and I, nor any other stranger here have extensive knowledge of your medical background?

Therefore any advice/information provided is on a general basis.

You need to revert back to your health professional.
 
I agree with comments from people wanting to help from this forum.

We have and do genuinely want to help, people that have advised going to a dietician ... We wouldn't know that you feel that your appointment with a dietician didn't help you.

Nobody comes on these postings to antagonise intentionally...I am really sorry that you feel that we have exasperated you with our responses. I will however say that I have a good friend with MS and another I know.. But they do not let life beat them.... I'm sorry to exasperate you more, but my friend Jennt has had severe MS for 35 years, she too is in a wheelchair... Her husband does so much he deserves a medal.. BUT everyday no matter what the weather ... Jenny and hubby do a 4 mile jaunt with their dog... I have seen Jenny wheeling herself along the river in snow and rain with her cape over her wheelchair and a deerstalker hat on.. Walking their dog... No matter what.. She is always smiling and asking how other people are....

Sorry to post this, I really am.. But you have value.. You have reason to get up and live and eat each day.... I think my friend Jenny at 70 is in a far worse place than you.. From your original posting, I did not understand what advice you were actually asking for.. I still don't really...

I think you are in a bad place with your anger towards life to be honest...I hope that you may be able to see that we would like to help you, but your issues with eating, ME etc were not part of the original posting.. And we cannot be blamed for not knowing this information.

I really wish you well, but I do believe that you need help for happiness...
 
Sassy, please do try to get outside help, you say that a dietitian messed things up for you, perhaps there was a communication problem, not sure whats going on, but do give things another chance, what about counselling? You and your husband are struggling so much, you have deserved better.

As far as eating is concerned, do try to increase the amount of foods that you can eat, increase protein and fat, the healthy fats.

I know life is hard for you at present, but dont punish yourself by not eating, try to make plans, something positive to look forward to the future, you know yourself best, you are an intelligent, strong woman, a fighter, that is plain to see, so use these positve qualities to fight your way back to health, to make you happy again, you owe it to yourself.

Sending big hugs, love and light, I am thinking of you, feel free to PM me any time x x
 
Sassywriter,
Dont be upset by Glazed Doughnut and donnellysdogs comments, they only wrote about how they themselves would deal with your situation.

We are all individuals and tend to deal with issues in different ways.

They certainly cared enough to respond to you, they didnt set out to upset you I am pretty sure of it.

I hope you are beginning to feel a little more positive x
 
Right.

I took time out - spoke to hubby, spoke to GP.


We have agreed on a few things. I am not to be pushed. I still do not do blood glucose testing.I go through enough pain with the M.E so having a prick in my finger 2-3 times a day will push me over the edge :lol:
I will eat, when I am hungry, I low carb. If I am not hungry, I do not get pushed to eat. I am to start on tiny portions (this is how I recovered in the first place) I am on blended food. If I am pushed I refuse even more, I know it is stupid but it is how our brains work..

I do not want to see a counseller at the moment, but when I am ready I can.
GP to come here and supervise weigh in.

Those who have offered for me to PM them if things get tough, thank you. Also thank you for calming me down. Yes it is a big issue having to weigh things, it is like having OCD. Going round making sure things are switched off, etc. Or if you checked your blood glucose, as some of you do, and suddenly you can't! It is the same thing really. I am not having a go - just asking those who suggested not weighing food out to put yourselves in those shoes.

But thank you for your advice. It is hard being bed bound, it is hard not being able to do exercise like I use to. I use to walk 10 miles daily, every day - my main ambition was to run the London Marathon. Then one day, I got out of bed and collapsed - 6 months later, I got diagnosed with M.E as they didn't find anything else wrong.

I would also like you to take this as an apology for having a big massive meltdown and losing it over the weekend.

THANK YOU ALL.
 
sassywriter43 said:
Right.

I took time out - spoke to hubby, spoke to GP.


We have agreed on a few things. I am not to be pushed. I still do not do blood glucose testing.I go through enough pain with the M.E so having a prick in my finger 2-3 times a day will push me over the edge :lol:
I will eat, when I am hungry, I low carb. If I am not hungry, I do not get pushed to eat. I am to start on tiny portions (this is how I recovered in the first place) I am on blended food. If I am pushed I refuse even more, I know it is stupid but it is how our brains work..

I do not want to see a counseller at the moment, but when I am ready I can.
GP to come here and supervise weigh in.

Those who have offered for me to PM them if things get tough, thank you. Also thank you for calming me down. Yes it is a big issue having to weigh things, it is like having OCD. Going round making sure things are switched off, etc. Or if you checked your blood glucose, as some of you do, and suddenly you can't! It is the same thing really. I am not having a go - just asking those who suggested not weighing food out to put yourselves in those shoes.

But thank you for your advice. It is hard being bed bound, it is hard not being able to do exercise like I use to. I use to walk 10 miles daily, every day - my main ambition was to run the London Marathon. Then one day, I got out of bed and collapsed - 6 months later, I got diagnosed with M.E as they didn't find anything else wrong.

I would also like you to take this as an apology for having a big massive meltdown and losing it over the weekend.

THANK YOU ALL.
Click to expand...


sassywriter, thats fantastic good news, I am so pleased that you have been able to talk to your GP and husband and work out a plan to help you make things better once more. You are incredibly brave and strong, I am sure you can overcome your issues, remember though, baby steps lead on to bigger steps, you know yourself best, you know what you need to do to make it good.

Thinking of you, sending positive vibes in your direction every single day, dont despair, there is lots of support for you.
Hugs x x
 
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