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New Relationships

Cassandra13

Cassandra13

Active Member
Messages
36
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Hey All,

I have recently just started dating again and I am dating an amazing guy but he doesn't know anything about diabetes. We haven't been dating long and when I am struggling with controlling my levels, I don't want to put that on him because I don't want him to think that I am sick or cannot take care of myself. But I can tell that he worries. How/When do you include a new partner into your diabetes management?

Am I being crazy?
 
Hi Cassandra, it's a hard one to say, I think if your spending time with him then you do need to tell him as you'll need to test and inject and running to the loo alot might worry him. If he is a decent man and is keen on you then it won't be a problem but the longer you leave it the more it will become an issue. It's not something I would flaunt in front of him, just gently ease in with that you have diabetes and answer any questions as they come rather than trying to explain all about it. Remember if you do have a hypo in front of him it could be a nightmare trying to explain to him while you are treating yourself !

If he's a scallywag and that puts him off then he isn't worth dating anyway so the sooner you know the better ! Good luck hun ;)
 
Hi Cassandra
Relationships can be quite hard as non-diabetics struggle with the complexities of the condition. I 'was' married to a nurse for 20 years who told me I had diabetes because I had a sweet tooth, I have been a type 1 from the word go!!!! The best thing is to keep it simple for him, ie if you are unconscious call an ambulance, if you are acting 'strangely' give you jelly beans, the rest is patience by you.

David
 
He does know I have diabetes but I don't tell him much more than that. I was married to a very unsupportive non-diabetic (I was diagnosed 4 years into the relationship), and his reactions to my diagnosis has made me very hesitant to talk much about diabetes. Do your current partners struggle/worry living with a diabetic? I am just trying to understand what it is like to be on the non-diabetic end of things and how to maybe make it easier to learn and understand how to be a supportive partner to a diabetic?
 
Hiya - mine is very supportive, he doesn't know that much but knows what to do if i'm low and to be honest I don't want to bombard him with stuff. He does worry but only if I am struggling, otherwise he lets me get on with it and doesn't interfere which is just fine by me !

If your new partner is a decent man then he will be supportive, don't get too worried about it, if he knows about your condition then that's fine, just let things run their course and if he asks questions then fill him in on the details. A caring man will want to know more, but only because they have your interests at heart ;)
 
Hi I must say the best way I've dealt with it is slowly talking about it, introducing it In non directive ways and once we are together for a bit ill just mention my appointment and maybe he would like to join me . I always found it coming from my nurse was less me saying it than a professionals word which seemed to help but this is just me.My partnerI must say is awesome with me and they all have been. I have been lucky par one they understood it. One commented I get from partners when I first introduce d is that they want to know more about it from my words because it's another part of me to know and I've been told it can be scary to see me have issues sometimes because they care. I guess for me it's about letting people know around me, what to do in worst case scenario and let them question from there.
 
To be honest, my diabetes is probably one of the first things i say when i introduce myself to people.
I am not happy that i have diabetes but, i am proud of myself for coping with it.
For me, it is similar to stating my profession, my star sign, my favourite color or food. It is so much a part of me...
 
Hi,I've been married for 46 years and Type1 for 53 years,when we first met I told her I was diabetic and I gently introduced her to my diabetes,and she hated injections,but she learnt to cope.Over the years she has been so supportive and has been a tower of strength for me and I still love her very much.As many have said gently introduce him to your diabetes and involve him in your diabetes,as to start a relationship with secrets is not a good base to build a relationship on.I wish you good luck with your new relationship.
 
Years ago, when I was dating, I've always brought it up straight away. Casually tested, or injected, then explained I was diabetic. No one ever had a problem with it.
 
I'be been in a relationship with my fiance for nearly 3 years, I explained what I could within the first few weeks. She has questions and I try to answer as best as I can. It's better to be open about it all, answer questions if you know the answers and if not look for the answers together.

I think it would scare him more if he didn't know what to do if a hypo occurred.
 
I can see why you are worried about making him think you can't look after yourself but he will never really know you until he knows what you're going through (as much as a non-diabetic can). Mention your diabetes and it's effect on you in normal conversation, rather than as an 'issue' you need to talk about. My current partner went online and looked up loads of info after our first date and was full of questions!

I'd definitely make sure he knows what to expect if you hypo though - as others have said, it's better that he's prepared. I always try to make sure people (friends, family, colleagues too!) know they don't have to worry about what to do though - I tell them I will always have something on hand to sort myself out but in the very rare case when I can't then just call an ambulance - I think people need to know they don't have to be responsible for treating you!
 
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