- Messages
- 45
Hi!
I was feeling rubbish with hot and cold sweats and thought I was starting menopause so after a couple of weeks of feeling rubbish, eating chocolate and drinking lucozade to keep my energy levels up I finally booked myself a doctors appointment and was asked to attend hospital for a blood test.
I decided the blood test could wait, there was no rush so I got it done 2 days after being advised. Then everything went crazy!
Monday Doctor appointment
Tuesday slept all day on the sofa, I had no energy aand only went out to fetch my Daughter from college.
Wednesday my eyes were foggy this was a new experience, my Hubby came home from night shift and took me to get my bloods done, I wasn't going to take the chance and drive.
Thursday my vision was ok .... not great but I had to work, I had an event planned which only I could run. The Doctors surgery called me at 10am telling me I must get to the surgery asap. I told them I was working until 4pm, so carried on with my day, after all I had lucozade and chocolate to keep me going.
I then went to the surgery and sat waiting for over an hour, becoming more anxious ..... what was so important? The BANG .... I was told I was dangerously dehydrated, my blood was acidic and I was type 1 diabetic. I was instructed to go straight to hospital.
I drove home in tears, slammed the car door, slammed the house door, threw my phone, keys and bag into the lounge and sobbed my heart out on the stairs (new lounge carpet no shoes allowed).
Then my Hubby drove me to hospital where I sat in majors for 2 hours, once on a bed my blood pressure was low, a saline drip was put in place then I went all weak and woozy to rushed through to resuss. I had a lot of people around me, another canula was put in and a Doctor was squeezing a bag to get it in me quicker. I sent my Hubby home to our children.
By 3am I had 3 bags of saline and insulin was now being pushed in me, I then got moved to a ward with hourly obs done.
Why me? noone in my family had type 1, what did I do to myself? There is no way I had dehydrated myself, I was drinking 12 x 500ml a day! I was fit, active, lost 3 stone to keep myself healthy (still overwieght) was at the gym 3 times a week and swam twice a week as well as an active job!
8 bags of saline and 3 bags of insulin later I was broken hearted, couldn't control my anger, frustration, it felt like I had lost something and I was grieving. my level was 32! no idea what that meant!
Friday evening the drips were removed and injections started. What was I allowed to eat? I had no idea and the menu lady couldn't advise me as she was new. So I had cornflakes, BIG MISTAKE. My level was 14 then after eating it was 22 so no cornflakes for me. I had no idea what they meant by levels but I knew it was bad so again I felt guilty, I had made myself worse by eating!
Saturday - so now I've started to calm down, the ward staff were amazing, had no sleep due to hourly obs. The Diabetic team came to see me, this made my heart brake even more. I was told I'll be insulin dependant for life! She didn't leave me with anything as I was a wreck. I cried myself to sleep that night. The ward staff told me that the mental health team would visit me on monday, they never came.
Sunday - I've been moved to another ward to be with other diabetics. Three ladies were discussing which toes they were having removed, how was this supposed to help me? I sobbed, I'm going to lose my toes too? one lady was having her whole foot off! Will I lose my foot too? My Parents drove 3 hours to visit me, this was the hardest part, I felt that I had let them down, I couldn't be home with my children, my Hubby was running around trying to work, run the house, do the childcare, visit me, he was exhausted and it was all my fault. When my Parents left I cried myself to sleep again.
Monday I was informed I could go home at 10:30am after the diabetic team had been to see me. I had no idea how to look after myself, how was I going to cope? the team came to see me and said I was ready to go. I asked them .... how do I get my insulin? do I need to come back every 4 hours? they were confused as my notes stated that I had been shown how to use my pen. I saw my pen on friday night then it was lost with my folder. Staff were injecting me with syringes I didn't know what to do, how to set it up I just knew that I needed it.
2 hours later I was trained and then could leave but had to wait for the mental health team, the dietitian and 3 canulas to be removed. by 6pm the nurses asked why I hadn't gone home yet!!!!!! So I told them who I was told to wait for, the dietitian had gone home. There was noone available from the metal health team. So canualas were removed and I was discharged.
The drive home was scary, it was like being on a roller coaster, my eyes were blurry, nothing made sense. I got home and hugged my children then fell apart again. Had a nice relaxing bath and sobbed myself to sleep.
Tuesday - day one at home with very poor vision, feeling wobbly, having to sit a lot, still asking myself why me, what did I do wrong to make myself ill? how can I lose weight, get fit and still end up being a diabetic? how was I going to work? I'm self employed, I have to work there is no sick pay. I spent the day in tears, making a cup of tea for myself was hard as I couldn't see the rim of the cup, I had to feel which caused me to pour boiling water on my finger but no burns luckily.
Wednesday - my Hubby had to go to work, this was really scary, a friend came and spent most of the day with me.
Thursday - my first offical day on my own - my vision was still bad but by now my Hubby had bought me some tesco 3.5 reading glasses, I'm wearing these over the top of pound shop 1.5 reading glasses so now I can see, read, use my laptop.
As the week went on I woke every day and felt gutted as I couldn't see the clock, who knew what time it was! Double glasses to read a well lit clock!
Today is day 17 since being diagnosed. I'm no longer tearful. I'm still wearing double glasses though can't walk with them on as I get motion sickness. I've not been out of my home for 6 days as it's scary to step out, I'm safe in my home.
Monday I have a consultant appointment as 12 in one hospital followed by an appointment with my diabetic nurse as 2pm at another hospital.
Tuesday is bag packing day to visit family for Christmas.
Wednesday foot check and flu jab then venture out of the house for a 3 hour journey as a passenger in my Hubby's car which I'm dreading.
To top this all off my Mother in Law was rushed into hospital and she's awaiting an operation today for a ruptured aneurysm. My Hubby has been torn, leave me to go to his Mom or stay and carry on as his sibblings are there. This had made me feel even more guilty and very low in myself BUT I'm not tearful.
I've now learnt how to make a cup of tea and feed myself with blurry vision and have been advised to give my eyes at least another 2 weeks before seeking advice from the opticians.
Prescriptions have cost me a fortune, I've chased up my doctors surgery to find out when my exemption card will come, they haven't processed it yet so will be paying for me next prescription too.
There is an 8 month wait for retinal screening so I might find out how much it will cost if I go private.
Christmas will be strange this year and I know I've refered to my children a lot but they are 17 and 18 now. My Daughter is 100% reliant on me due to her anxiety issues and lack of confidence but she's starting to become independent, she's learning how to get herself too and from college. My Son is amazing, he is dyspraxic and has suddenly grown up, he seeked help from college to change his journey to and from as I was dropping him half way so he only had one bus to deal with. My Hubby has done his best to fully support them both whilst working and visiting me.
I'm very lucky to have an amazing family and I'm no longer angry with my condition. We are learning to deal with is as a family.
This was supposed to be a short post so I totally understand anyone who chooses not to read it. I'm also hoping that it will help anyone else out who have gone through the same process.
Thanks for reading. Onwards and Upwards to 2019!
I was feeling rubbish with hot and cold sweats and thought I was starting menopause so after a couple of weeks of feeling rubbish, eating chocolate and drinking lucozade to keep my energy levels up I finally booked myself a doctors appointment and was asked to attend hospital for a blood test.
I decided the blood test could wait, there was no rush so I got it done 2 days after being advised. Then everything went crazy!
Monday Doctor appointment
Tuesday slept all day on the sofa, I had no energy aand only went out to fetch my Daughter from college.
Wednesday my eyes were foggy this was a new experience, my Hubby came home from night shift and took me to get my bloods done, I wasn't going to take the chance and drive.
Thursday my vision was ok .... not great but I had to work, I had an event planned which only I could run. The Doctors surgery called me at 10am telling me I must get to the surgery asap. I told them I was working until 4pm, so carried on with my day, after all I had lucozade and chocolate to keep me going.
I then went to the surgery and sat waiting for over an hour, becoming more anxious ..... what was so important? The BANG .... I was told I was dangerously dehydrated, my blood was acidic and I was type 1 diabetic. I was instructed to go straight to hospital.
I drove home in tears, slammed the car door, slammed the house door, threw my phone, keys and bag into the lounge and sobbed my heart out on the stairs (new lounge carpet no shoes allowed).
Then my Hubby drove me to hospital where I sat in majors for 2 hours, once on a bed my blood pressure was low, a saline drip was put in place then I went all weak and woozy to rushed through to resuss. I had a lot of people around me, another canula was put in and a Doctor was squeezing a bag to get it in me quicker. I sent my Hubby home to our children.
By 3am I had 3 bags of saline and insulin was now being pushed in me, I then got moved to a ward with hourly obs done.
Why me? noone in my family had type 1, what did I do to myself? There is no way I had dehydrated myself, I was drinking 12 x 500ml a day! I was fit, active, lost 3 stone to keep myself healthy (still overwieght) was at the gym 3 times a week and swam twice a week as well as an active job!
8 bags of saline and 3 bags of insulin later I was broken hearted, couldn't control my anger, frustration, it felt like I had lost something and I was grieving. my level was 32! no idea what that meant!
Friday evening the drips were removed and injections started. What was I allowed to eat? I had no idea and the menu lady couldn't advise me as she was new. So I had cornflakes, BIG MISTAKE. My level was 14 then after eating it was 22 so no cornflakes for me. I had no idea what they meant by levels but I knew it was bad so again I felt guilty, I had made myself worse by eating!
Saturday - so now I've started to calm down, the ward staff were amazing, had no sleep due to hourly obs. The Diabetic team came to see me, this made my heart brake even more. I was told I'll be insulin dependant for life! She didn't leave me with anything as I was a wreck. I cried myself to sleep that night. The ward staff told me that the mental health team would visit me on monday, they never came.
Sunday - I've been moved to another ward to be with other diabetics. Three ladies were discussing which toes they were having removed, how was this supposed to help me? I sobbed, I'm going to lose my toes too? one lady was having her whole foot off! Will I lose my foot too? My Parents drove 3 hours to visit me, this was the hardest part, I felt that I had let them down, I couldn't be home with my children, my Hubby was running around trying to work, run the house, do the childcare, visit me, he was exhausted and it was all my fault. When my Parents left I cried myself to sleep again.
Monday I was informed I could go home at 10:30am after the diabetic team had been to see me. I had no idea how to look after myself, how was I going to cope? the team came to see me and said I was ready to go. I asked them .... how do I get my insulin? do I need to come back every 4 hours? they were confused as my notes stated that I had been shown how to use my pen. I saw my pen on friday night then it was lost with my folder. Staff were injecting me with syringes I didn't know what to do, how to set it up I just knew that I needed it.
2 hours later I was trained and then could leave but had to wait for the mental health team, the dietitian and 3 canulas to be removed. by 6pm the nurses asked why I hadn't gone home yet!!!!!! So I told them who I was told to wait for, the dietitian had gone home. There was noone available from the metal health team. So canualas were removed and I was discharged.
The drive home was scary, it was like being on a roller coaster, my eyes were blurry, nothing made sense. I got home and hugged my children then fell apart again. Had a nice relaxing bath and sobbed myself to sleep.
Tuesday - day one at home with very poor vision, feeling wobbly, having to sit a lot, still asking myself why me, what did I do wrong to make myself ill? how can I lose weight, get fit and still end up being a diabetic? how was I going to work? I'm self employed, I have to work there is no sick pay. I spent the day in tears, making a cup of tea for myself was hard as I couldn't see the rim of the cup, I had to feel which caused me to pour boiling water on my finger but no burns luckily.
Wednesday - my Hubby had to go to work, this was really scary, a friend came and spent most of the day with me.
Thursday - my first offical day on my own - my vision was still bad but by now my Hubby had bought me some tesco 3.5 reading glasses, I'm wearing these over the top of pound shop 1.5 reading glasses so now I can see, read, use my laptop.
As the week went on I woke every day and felt gutted as I couldn't see the clock, who knew what time it was! Double glasses to read a well lit clock!
Today is day 17 since being diagnosed. I'm no longer tearful. I'm still wearing double glasses though can't walk with them on as I get motion sickness. I've not been out of my home for 6 days as it's scary to step out, I'm safe in my home.
Monday I have a consultant appointment as 12 in one hospital followed by an appointment with my diabetic nurse as 2pm at another hospital.
Tuesday is bag packing day to visit family for Christmas.
Wednesday foot check and flu jab then venture out of the house for a 3 hour journey as a passenger in my Hubby's car which I'm dreading.
To top this all off my Mother in Law was rushed into hospital and she's awaiting an operation today for a ruptured aneurysm. My Hubby has been torn, leave me to go to his Mom or stay and carry on as his sibblings are there. This had made me feel even more guilty and very low in myself BUT I'm not tearful.
I've now learnt how to make a cup of tea and feed myself with blurry vision and have been advised to give my eyes at least another 2 weeks before seeking advice from the opticians.
Prescriptions have cost me a fortune, I've chased up my doctors surgery to find out when my exemption card will come, they haven't processed it yet so will be paying for me next prescription too.
There is an 8 month wait for retinal screening so I might find out how much it will cost if I go private.
Christmas will be strange this year and I know I've refered to my children a lot but they are 17 and 18 now. My Daughter is 100% reliant on me due to her anxiety issues and lack of confidence but she's starting to become independent, she's learning how to get herself too and from college. My Son is amazing, he is dyspraxic and has suddenly grown up, he seeked help from college to change his journey to and from as I was dropping him half way so he only had one bus to deal with. My Hubby has done his best to fully support them both whilst working and visiting me.
I'm very lucky to have an amazing family and I'm no longer angry with my condition. We are learning to deal with is as a family.
This was supposed to be a short post so I totally understand anyone who chooses not to read it. I'm also hoping that it will help anyone else out who have gone through the same process.
Thanks for reading. Onwards and Upwards to 2019!