Niggle about diabetes nurse

[Halfhybrid]

I had my first diabetes check back in February. I'd been diagnosed last November so was still feeling overwhelmed and scared by it. Something about the diabetes nurse during my check has been niggling at me ever since. The first question she asked me was if I was aware what the appointment was about and I had to voice out loud that I had been diagnosed and it was a first check up. Then she asked in a kind of sweet but greasy way "do you eat a lot of sweet things?". I told her truthfully that no, I don't have a particularly sweet tooth.
I started to get a bit upset and ashamed to say was shedding a few silent tears and she was totally stony-faced with me.
I came away feeling, without her uttering a word out of place, as though she judged me and blamed me for my predicament. And since I blame myself for it anyway, came away from it feeling very quashed.
I have my next check later this month and am dreading it. I don't think I'm being hypersensitive about it since the first appointment has been niggling me ever since.
Any advice on how to "be" during these appointments would be welcome.

 

[KK123]

I had my first diabetes check back in February. I'd been diagnosed last November so was still feeling overwhelmed and scared by it. Something about the diabetes nurse during my check has been niggling at me ever since. The first question she asked me was if I was aware what the appointment was about and I had to voice out loud that I had been diagnosed and it was a first check up. Then she asked in a kind of sweet but greasy way "do you eat a lot of sweet things?". I told her truthfully that no, I don't have a particularly sweet tooth.
I started to get a bit upset and ashamed to say was shedding a few silent tears and she was totally stony-faced with me.
I came away feeling, without her uttering a word out of place, as though she judged me and blamed me for my predicament. And since I blame myself for it anyway, came away from it feeling very quashed.
I have my next check later this month and am dreading it. I don't think I'm being hypersensitive about it since the first appointment has been niggling me ever since.
Any advice on how to "be" during these appointments would be welcome.

Hi there, aw, I feel for you and can pretty much guarantee we have ALL been there no matter what type of diabetes we have. For some reason it is always open season on diabetes and it is mentioned in a very negative way whenever someone is going on about it and of course everyone's an expert. The ignorance of the general public is one thing but you will find that it is pretty much surpassed by the ignorance & tactlessness of the Professionals! First of all, her asking do you eat 'a lot of sweet things' shows how little she knows about diabetes, the causes of it and the impact of ALL carbs. To be fair (and I suppose I must) she maybe trying for an opening into the diet you do follow which she can then start off by saying 'cut out the obviously high carb stuff such as sugar in your tea'. It won't change if I'm honest but I would suggest you focus on stopping YOURSELF getting upset by it, learning about it on this site (which is fab) then going back for your second appointment fully armed with the actual facts. I sat through a Drs appointment (about cholesterol actually) and she insisted that my diet must be 'full of fat and to cut out cheese', it told me all I need to know about her expertise. I know it's easy to say but there will be many occasions when people look at you in a stereotypical way and the best thing to do is either ignore it and hold your head up high or stop them in their tracks with a few choice words ( my way). x

 

[xfieldok]

There are some people who should never be allowed within a mile of patients. Going to read your previous posts, don't go away.

 

[Halfhybrid]

Hi there, aw, I feel for you and can pretty much guarantee we have ALL been there no matter what type of diabetes we have. For some reason it is always open season on diabetes and it is mentioned in a very negative way whenever someone is going on about it and of course everyone's an expert. The ignorance of the general public is one thing but you will find that it is pretty much surpassed by the ignorance & tactlessness of the Professionals! First of all, her asking do you eat 'a lot of sweet things' shows how little she knows about diabetes, the causes of it and the impact of ALL carbs. To be fair (and I suppose I must) she maybe trying for an opening into the diet you do follow which she can then start off by saying 'cut out the obviously high carb stuff such as sugar in your tea'. It won't change if I'm honest but I would suggest you focus on stopping YOURSELF getting upset by it, learning about it on this site (which is fab) then going back for your second appointment fully armed with the actual facts. I sat through a Drs appointment (about cholesterol actually) and she insisted that my diet must be 'full of fat and to cut out cheese', it told me all I need to know about her expertise. I know it's easy to say but there will be many occasions when people look at you in a stereotypical way and the best thing to do is either ignore it and hold your head up high or stop them in their tracks with a few choice words ( my way). x

Hi, thanks for your post. I see what you mean about the ignorance of the Professionals and remembered about 10 years ago, I had a gastric problem and the specialist referred me to a dietician at the hospital. Well, that was a farce! The diet sheet she gave me was like a school dinner menu from the 1970s and I have not eaten stuff like that since then! The mention of "milk puddings" brought back a wave of nausea. I had been eating better than that my whole life. I've been overweight most of my life but that's due to portion control rather than "what" I eat.
Anyway, thanks for the advice about arming myself with the facts. Knowledge is power as they say. I'm keeping my diabetes secret from my family though as they will cope very badly with it and hold the stereotypical views of diabetes that I also shared prior to being caught out myself.

 

[JoKalsbeek]

I had my first diabetes check back in February. I'd been diagnosed last November so was still feeling overwhelmed and scared by it. Something about the diabetes nurse during my check has been niggling at me ever since. The first question she asked me was if I was aware what the appointment was about and I had to voice out loud that I had been diagnosed and it was a first check up. Then she asked in a kind of sweet but greasy way "do you eat a lot of sweet things?". I told her truthfully that no, I don't have a particularly sweet tooth.
I started to get a bit upset and ashamed to say was shedding a few silent tears and she was totally stony-faced with me.
I came away feeling, without her uttering a word out of place, as though she judged me and blamed me for my predicament. And since I blame myself for it anyway, came away from it feeling very quashed.
I have my next check later this month and am dreading it. I don't think I'm being hypersensitive about it since the first appointment has been niggling me ever since.
Any advice on how to "be" during these appointments would be welcome.

Bedside manner... Some people seem to think it includes acting all high and mighty and making patients feel bad about themselves.

Undiagnosed diabetes is why I had a non-alcoholic fatty liver, but people kept asking me about my closet drinking. Actually asked my husband to leave the room to drill me about it without him present. Because if someone is ailing, they MUST have done it to themselves somehow. (Teetotal here.).

T2 happened, it was NOT your fault no matter what anyone thinks, (you didn't pick your genes!) and please... Follow your own path, do what works for you, and just use the nurse for the tests and check ups... And ignore the rest.

 

[Halfhybrid]

Bedside manner... Some people seem to think it includes acting all high and mighty and making patients feel bad about themselves.

Undiagnosed diabetes is why I had a non-alcoholic fatty liver, but people kept asking me about my closet drinking. Actually asked my husband to leave the room to drill me about it without him present. Because if someone is ailing, they MUST have done it to themselves somehow. (Teetotal here.).

T2 happened, it was NOT your fault no matter what anyone thinks, (you didn't pick your genes!) and please... Follow your own path, do what works for you, and just use the nurse for the tests and check ups... And ignore the rest.

Thanks for your reply. How shocking that they asked your husband to leave the room so that they could bully you!!
Thanks for the link about diabetes and diet. I'm going to save that to refer to as it really sums things up pretty well.

 

[Brunneria]

@Halfhybrid
I'm going to guess that you have been diagnosed T2 (your profile doesn't say which type you are).
The widespread ignorance on the cause and progression of T2 is incredible - especially amongst healthcare professionals.
(if you are actually T1, and she was blaming your diabetes on sweet foods, then her ignorance is dangerous, and please make a formal complaint!)

The trouble is, the majority (not all) T2s fit a somewhat-middleaged and somewhat-overweight appearance, and that plugs straight into cultural prejudices and stereotypes, doesn't it? Combine that with our own views (equally conditioned by those same cultural prejudices and stereotypes), and it is a perfect storm of blame, self-blame and shame.

I once attended an excellent talk by a doctor at a conference.
She stood up to talk about healthy diets and children, and the first thing she said was
'when I see an over weight child, I do NOT see a fat, lazy, greedy child. I see a child with insulin resistance.'

It is the same for adults, of course.

 

[xfieldok]

I have had a quick look back at your previous posts. I think you have a bit of a rough ride. I can't see where you might have been given all the links we give to newbies, I can't do it on my phone , so tagging @JoKalsbeek for her great link (listen to your auntie Jo).

You need to get to grips with carbs. Tell us what you eat in a typical day. A previous post, I think you said your hba1c was 50 something

If so you can turn this around lickety split.

 

[Halfhybrid]

@Halfhybrid
I'm going to guess that you have been diagnosed T2 (your profile doesn't say which type you are).
The widespread ignorance on the cause and progression of T2 is incredible - especially amongst healthcare professionals.
(if you are actually T1, and she was blaming your diabetes on sweet foods, then her ignorance is dangerous, and please make a formal complaint!)

The trouble is, the majority (not all) T2s fit a somewhat-middleaged and somewhat-overweight appearance, and that plugs straight into cultural prejudices and stereotypes, doesn't it? Combine that with our own views (equally conditioned by those same cultural prejudices and stereotypes), and it is a perfect storm of blame, self-blame and shame.

I once attended an excellent talk by a doctor at a conference.
She stood up to talk about healthy diets and children, and the first thing she said was
'when I see an over weight child, I do NOT see a fat, lazy, greedy child. I see a child with insulin resistance.'

It is the same for adults, of course.

Hi Brunneria. I am T2. Yes, I fit the physical appearance that plugs into the stereotypes. I've battled with my weight all my adult life having been a thin child and healthily chunky teenager. It certainly feels like there is a stigma attached. I held the same views about T2s myself. Somebody I worked with was a T2 and I judged him because I saw what his diet consisted of. He was very thin but his lunches consisted of white bread sandwiches, full sugar versions of fizzy drink and several packets of crisps a day.
So when I was diagnosed myself, you could have knocked me for six because, I told myself, I had never eaten THAT way in my life!!

 

[JoKalsbeek]

Hi Brunneria. I am T2. Yes, I fit the physical appearance that plugs into the stereotypes. I've battled with my weight all my adult life having been a thin child and healthily chunky teenager. It certainly feels like there is a stigma attached. I held the same views about T2s myself. Somebody I worked with was a T2 and I judged him because I saw what his diet consisted of. He was very thin but his lunches consisted of white bread sandwiches, full sugar versions of fizzy drink and several packets of crisps a day.
So when I was diagnosed myself, you could have knocked me for six because, I told myself, I had never eaten THAT way in my life!!

https://josekalsbeek.blogspot.com/2019/11/the-nutritional-thingy.html <-- just in case. Might help.

 

[JoKalsbeek]

Thanks for your reply. How shocking that they asked your husband to leave the room so that they could bully you!!
Thanks for the link about diabetes and diet. I'm going to save that to refer to as it really sums things up pretty well.

They just figured I was a drinker and that he didn't know about my supposed alcoholism. I guess for some people it does actually work like that, but... Nope. And no amount of badgering was going to change my answer. I think I just whacked you over the head with my nutritional thingy again, haha, sorry. I just don't know where I'm at half the time. (And not because I'm drunk! )

 

[Halfhybrid]

I have had a quick look back at your previous posts. I think you have a bit of a rough ride. I can't see where you might have been given all the links we give to newbies, I can't do it on my phone , so tagging @JoKalsbeek for her great link (listen to your auntie Jo).

You need to get to grips with carbs. Tell us what you eat in a typical day. A previous post, I think you said your hba1c was 50 something

If so you can turn this around lickety split.

Don't think I've been eating so well since lockdown. I've increased my intake of fruit (especially apples) and crisps do feature. Apart from that, I eat high fibre carbs like porridge and wholegrain/granary bread, hardly any pasta and the occasional portion of rice (not as big a portion as I used to eat). I do have the occasional slice of cake and perhaps more milk chocolate than I should. Lager is a bit of a downfall - from Friday night to Sunday night and no booze during the week. Lots of fresh veg and proteins in the form of meat and seafood although the meat is probably fattier cuts than I should be eating (pork chops with the rind on - but if the rind was off, I wouldn't enjoy eating them at all).

 

[xfieldok]

Don't think I've been eating so well since lockdown. I've increased my intake of fruit (especially apples) and crisps do feature. Apart from that, I eat high fibre carbs like porridge and wholegrain/granary bread, hardly any pasta and the occasional portion of rice (not as big a portion as I used to eat). I do have the occasional slice of cake and perhaps more milk chocolate than I should. Lager is a bit of a downfall - from Friday night to Sunday night and no booze during the week. Lots of fresh veg and proteins in the form of meat and seafood although the meat is probably fattier cuts than I should be eating (pork chops with the rind on - but if the rind was off, I wouldn't enjoy eating them at all).

Are you testing your glucose before and after eating?

 

[bulkbiker]

Don't think I've been eating so well since lockdown. I've increased my intake of fruit (especially apples) and crisps do feature. Apart from that, I eat high fibre carbs like porridge and wholegrain/granary bread, hardly any pasta and the occasional portion of rice (not as big a portion as I used to eat). I do have the occasional slice of cake and perhaps more milk chocolate than I should. Lager is a bit of a downfall - from Friday night to Sunday night and no booze during the week. Lots of fresh veg and proteins in the form of meat and seafood although the meat is probably fattier cuts than I should be eating (pork chops with the rind on - but if the rind was off, I wouldn't enjoy eating them at all).

Lots of things shout out to me from that list and its not the pork chops!

High fibre usually means high carb and its the carbs our bodies aren't great at coping with so...

Bacon and eggs to replace the porridge
No bread if humanly possible (yes you will be able to manage it just have a lot more of the topping)
No pasta or rice or cake please.
Green veg are fine (anything above ground) as much meat, fish and seafood as you like..
Fruit and crisps best avoided apart from red berries like raspberries or strawberries.
Cream in drinks rather than milk(fewer carbs) and don't worry about "calories" and cream or full fat greek yoghurt on the berries.
Try the high cocoa content chocolate in small amounts (I do the 90% waitrose own brand).

 

[84green]

I had my first diabetes check back in February. I'd been diagnosed last November so was still feeling overwhelmed and scared by it. Something about the diabetes nurse during my check has been niggling at me ever since. The first question she asked me was if I was aware what the appointment was about and I had to voice out loud that I had been diagnosed and it was a first check up. Then she asked in a kind of sweet but greasy way "do you eat a lot of sweet things?". I told her truthfully that no, I don't have a particularly sweet tooth.
I started to get a bit upset and ashamed to say was shedding a few silent tears and she was totally stony-faced with me.
I came away feeling, without her uttering a word out of place, as though she judged me and blamed me for my predicament. And since I blame myself for it anyway, came away from it feeling very quashed.
I have my next check later this month and am dreading it. I don't think I'm being hypersensitive about it since the first appointment has been niggling me ever since.
Any advice on how to "be" during these appointments would be welcome.

Hi. Try and turn it into a positive and the best way to do that is to go back with a lower HbA1c in three months. I have just reduced mine following diet (low carb) and lifestyle changes. You will too and, although you’ll still be diagnosed as diabetic, you’ll soon be in remission and your DN will see what you’ve achieved. Make a point of telling them it had nothing to do with anything they told you if it makes you feel better!

My DN is very pleasant but ineffectual. She had never heard of the Newcastle Diet. Whether you agree with the diet or not, I would have thought someone whose job is to advise diabetics might have at least come across it.

I found more help and useful advice on this forum than ever from my surgery. Spend some time researching here, take charge of your diet and lifestyle, and your DN will soon be an irrelevance in your life.

One definite piece of advice. I don’t know if you self test but I would strongly recommend you do (ignore any GP or DN that says otherwise). By checking in the morning and before and after meals you will soon see your numbers coming down if you’re eating the right foods.

 

[Halfhybrid]

Are you testing your glucose before and after eating?

I don't usually test before meals, only after. The level always seems to hover around the 8 level no matter what I eat.

 

[Halfhybrid]

Lots of things shout out to me from that list and its not the pork chops!

High fibre usually means high carb and its the carbs our bodies aren't great at coping with so...

Bacon and eggs to replace the porridge
No bread if humanly possible (yes you will be able to manage it just have a lot more of the topping)
No pasta or rice or cake please.
Green veg are fine (anything above ground) as much meat, fish and seafood as you like..
Fruit and crisps best avoided apart from red berries like raspberries or strawberries.
Cream in drinks rather than milk(fewer carbs) and don't worry about "calories" and cream or full fat greek yoghurt on the berries.
Try the high cocoa content chocolate in small amounts (I do the 90% waitrose own brand).

Thanks for this. What do you do if you feel a bit peckish? Would you resist having a snack or would you have one and what would it be?

 

[xfieldok]

First, you test before you eat and 2 hours after the first bite . The difference between the two readings should be 2 or less. If the number is higher then you had too many carbs. So testing is an indicator of how you tolerate the food you just ate.

When I first started I had a snack box. It contained a little cheese, some olives, walnuts and very occasionally a boiled egg.

 

[bulkbiker]

Thanks for this. What do you do if you feel a bit peckish? Would you resist having a snack or would you have one and what would it be?

I tend to eat only 2 meals a day max..(nothing before 1 pm ever) one of those is usually a snack type which would be say today pork scratchings. Yesterday it was ham and cheese . I tend to eat a very meat heavy diet with few if any veg or fruit. Dairy is included but again mainly cream in coffee and some cheese but not daily.
My mornings are coffee and cream only.

 

[bulkbiker]

This is today so far from my spreadsheet..I'll have another coffee with cream before bed.