Not coping very well

[Juicyj]

Hi, I've had had type 1 since Jan now and on 5 injections a day, taking nova rapid and lantus, I have a pretty stressful job and a 4 year old to look after, just last night had a nighttime hypo at 3.4 and today feel drained so taken the day off. For a while now maybe 3-4 months I've been feeling down but just putting on a happy face, inside I feel like I'm so alone and struggling so much with keeping good blood sugars and some days they can be all over the place, then have to hold down a job etc. Also last week had a team meeting and because I'd had wine the night before sugars were running around 16 in the morning so took extra novarapid and crashed in my meeting to 2.9. I couldn't tell anyone as felt so embarrassed and took glycugel in the loo and sat there for 10 minutes trying to gain my composure, then left shortly afterwards. I think the point I'm trying to get across us that I feel quite alone, haven't seen my DSN for months haven't done DAFNE and won't do until around May next year and in some respects feel like I'm climbing a mountain I knowni'll never get up, I tried talking to the doctor last week and couldn't quite verbalise how I feel so just asked if there were any courses in meditation I could join as I've heard that can help manage my bloods and moods. He suggested that because they are high and low a lot that would affect my mood so hoping he can get me on something but don't want medication for depression. I also know that after Dafne will be able to carb count better but thats atill a way off. Has anyone else felt so low for so long and what helped you ?

 

[CarbsRok]

Hi, I've had had type 1 since Jan now and on 5 injections a day, taking nova rapid and lantus, I have a pretty stressful job and a 4 year old to look after, just last night had a nighttime hypo at 3.4 and today feel drained so taken the day off. For a while now maybe 3-4 months I've been feeling down but just putting on a happy face, inside I feel like I'm so alone and struggling so much with keeping good blood sugars and some days they can be all over the place, then have to hold down a job etc. Also last week had a team meeting and because I'd had wine the night before sugars were running around 16 in the morning so took extra novarapid and crashed in my meeting to 2.9. I couldn't tell anyone as felt so embarrassed and took glycugel in the loo and sat there for 10 minutes trying to gain my composure, then left shortly afterwards. I think the point I'm trying to get across us that I feel quite alone, haven't seen my DSN for months haven't done DAFNE and won't do until around May next year and in some respects feel like I'm climbing a mountain I knowni'll never get up, I tried talking to the doctor last week and couldn't quite verbalise how I feel so just asked if there were any courses in meditation I could join as I've heard that can help manage my bloods and moods. He suggested that because they are high and low a lot that would affect my mood so hoping he can get me on something but don't want medication for depression. I also know that after Dafne will be able to carb count better but thats atill a way off. Has anyone else felt so low for so long and what helped you ?

Hi Juicy,
please contact your DSN keep on ringing texting or email until you get a reply and some help.
It sounds to me as if you have hit the wall and need some moral support as well as practical help to help you get you back on track.
If you google bdec, and sign up for the course that will give you a head start for carb counting and adjusting your blood sugars as you need.
Also buy yourself the books using insulin and think like a pancreas (Amazon) They will help you no end to manage your diabetes.
Your GP is quite right swinging blood sugars will cause you down moods and depression. So getting your blood sugars under control will help and or sort that side of things for you.
It sounds as if you are coming to the end of your honeymoon period. (Pancreas giving up completely)

 

[Lucypieee]

Hi Juicyj,

I've been diabetic since the age of 8 and have had my fair share of ups and downs. It's easy to feel so alone with diabetes, especially if you don't know anyone with diabetes that you can chat to and whom you feel can understand you.
My DSN is always on the other side of the phone if I need her, and if I need extra support, she'll help me find it, it's what she's there for. Nearly 10 years ago, I suffered a trauma which led to my feeling really alone and like I had diabetes with no one else to help, I didn't feel that I could rely on my Mother anymore with it either. The one thing I never did, which I wish I did, was talk about it, which is what you've begun to do on this forum. When I was first diagnosed, I used to go to the Diabetes UK local chapter meetings with my Mother and Father, they could talk to diabetic parents and diabetics, I could play with the other children.

I honestly think if I spoke more about how I felt and what I was going through, I wouldn't have felt so alone for so long.

Dafne was the other thing that helped me through my things, being able to talk to other diabetics really helped. Sometimes it still feels really tough and sometimes it is a daily battle. I'd take each day as it comes and remember, your health is important, if you have a hypo at work, just let them know, any company that cares about you will be understanding.

Lucy x

 

[jopar]

Hi Juicy

The wine you had the night before the meeting would have had a lot to do with why you crashed in the meeting..

When you drink alcohol, the livers stops processing and replenishing the emergency glucose store... As the liver can't process alcohol and process glucose at the same time... As alcohol is poison it will clear this out of the blood first.

When you start drinking you don't notice it, because the glucose store will carrying on dribbling into the blood as per-normal until it's totally depleted, at this stage the background insulin then start acting like quick acting insulin, instead of sorting out the glucose from the liver, it will start lowering the blood glucose levels..

On average it takes the liver 1 hour to process 1 unit of alcohol... But this is an average so could take longer though.

But never be embarrassed by an hypo, if you hide out the way to treat it without letting anybody know what the problem is, you'll putting yourself in danger. You need a system where if you'll going to retreat, then it should be a designated place, and pref you tell somebody that you'll going. This enables either somebody to check you or even find you if you haven't been able to tell somebody before hand...

 

[Juicyj]

Thanks all for comments, it took some courage to write this. I can't get hold of my DSN as shes back tomorrow. I think I have hit my wall it's been some time coming, I suppose it can only get better. I don't normally drink in the week it was a once in a very long time that I got to go out and as I'd eaten carbs felt confident I was ok to do so, I am always extra wary with drinking as I know it will affect my bloods, this is the first time though it's affected my job and that blew my confidence a bit. I will sign up to Bdec and talk to DSN tomorrow but I don't have much faith in my DSN as have so little contact it's practically non existent. Just talking to other type 1s helps as I know I'm not alone.

 

[CarbsRok]

Thanks all for comments, it took some courage to write this. I can't get hold of my DSN as shes back tomorrow. I think I have hit my wall it's been some time coming, I suppose it can only get better. I don't normally drink in the week it was a once in a very long time that I got to go out and as I'd eaten carbs felt confident I was ok to do so, I am always extra wary with drinking as I know it will affect my bloods, this is the first time though it's affected my job and that blew my confidence a bit. I will sign up to Bdec and talk to DSN tomorrow but I don't have much faith in my DSN as have so little contact it's practically non existent. Just talking to other type 1s helps as I know I'm not alone.

Hi Juicy,
talk away, it does help ((((((hugs)))))))))))) just a tip for you ask your GP for a referal to another clinic else where. Point out that you have no confidence in the care! you have been given as it's non existent. Diabetes is for life so you need that help and support which is sadly lacking at the moment.
My advice is to take one day at a time take your blood sugar reading as that is just that a reading. Correct with food or insulin and move on. Don't get hung up on it.
Things will def get better once you feel as if you are in control again
I know there are some pointers and tips for drinking on the web somewhere as have seen them. Can't remember where though as I don't drink.
Having diabetes doesn't mean you have to stop drinking though

 

[Riri]

Hia Juicy
You'll see from my previous posts that I went through a bad patch last couple of years and literally felt all alone with diabetes and out of control. Several things helped but it did take time (up to 12 months in my case). Talking to people and opening up about my feelings helped. Having good support from my hospital team who recommended me for a pump as my quality of life was being affected (extreme fear of hypos and feeling of being out of control after having a disabling hypo for the frist time ever - in work too). A pump isn't always the answer but if you continue to feel helpless and have extremes of blood sugars then it may be an option although I would suggest that the Dafne course and more help and support from your DSN may be your first port of call. my doctor has also signed me up for some cognative behavioural therapy sessions as, like you, I put a happy smily face on for the outside world but inside I still struggle on occasion - the doc now believes that such help may provide me with some coping strategies. So as you can see a lot of us go through similar feelings so don't think you're alone. This web-site is also great - when I was really unwell the words of encouragement and good advice from folk really helped. All the best and, as others have said, take one day at a time.

 

[Juicyj]

Thank you all for the support, hearing your experiences helps ,don't get me wrong though I've had some weeks of really good readings and my HbAc1 is 7.6 so it's not completely out of control but just had an infection for a month which kept my sugars high and then a few days in the past week where I've bounced high and low and it's just draining me, I know this current episode is just me feeling low about it all and I'll come right soon but just get over whelmed and teary so much about trying to do everything right and scared of the consequences if I don't. Thanks again all for taking the time to respond and big hugs back x

 

[Juicyj]

Today much better, have DSN coming to see me for an hour next week and havent had a hypo in 2 days..

Also for anyone else reading this, have just picked up this article which is good reading:

http://issuu.com/desangmedia/docs/desang_issue29_diabetes-and-depression?utm_source=Desang+Online+Magazine+November+2012&utm_campaign=November+magazine+2012&utm_medium=email

Am doing some research into mindfulness meditation and think this is going to work for me.

 

[Neil Roberts]

Hi - I'm not sure how old you are but I became T1 when I was 36. I was a veggie triathlete with no risk factors. I felt it unfair and unjust. As had been commented on and research has shown feelings of low mood and depression/anxiety are common post diagnosis, more so if you have suffered this pre-diagnosis. The changes you feel are very common as I know and have also experienced. Trying to balance a "normal life", control your diabetes, cope with how dreadful hypo's make you feel sometimes initially for days afterwards, and feeling you can't do things that you used to do foster feelings of grief, loss, anger and loneliness. But on reflection before then it felt like it was a roller coaster of hell. I had a stint of depression for 6 months after I had been diagnosed with T1 and feel with correct management this could have been if not avoided the symptoms could have been less severe. On reflection now I would have pushed for DAFNE harder, insisted on a pump (if you look at the NICE guidelines mental health issues are an indicator for one if you GP/consultant is not wanting to put you on one). If you need to speak to someone every GP should have a primary mental health worker attached to them and they can offer you confidential counselling, and once through the DAFNE course and/or on a pump and you are struggling with the turmoil and lack of structure in coping with everything which results in you feeling low/anxious ask the nurse to refer you to the local cognitive behaviour therapist usually attached to the Improving Access to Psychological Therapies (IAPT) team who can help in changing your behaviour to cope with your feelings, structure you life, and reach your goals.

On a positive note I am on a pump (the best thing ever!) following DAPHNE having the support from my DNS (who I had contact weekly to begin with as I hassled them). I am now back running half marathons, getting up at 6am to go to the gym and do you yoga for an hour before work and most importantly am not this crazy hypo/hyper monster for my wife and daughter!

 

[hanadr]

juicy
I'm not a medic, but you sound depressed to me. A 3.4 hypo isn't serious and you shouldn't feel too bad once you've corrected it. My T1 husband gets down to the 3s quite often and is absolutely fine.
I would say "see your health care team ASAP.
Looking after a small child is HARD WORK. I looked after my 2 small grandchildren all day yesterday. the 4 1/2 year old was poorly.
I got home exhausted. I slept better last night than I have for years.
Is your little one at school or nursery school?
Hana

 

[jayne15]

Hi Juicy

I am not a diabetic (Im the mother of a 7 year old type 1) However I also have a 4 year old and until recently had a very stressful job so the latter 2 without an illness added on is extremely hard work and challenging. Last year I was diagnosed with hyperthyroidsm which I know is a completely different diagnosis but my point is your feelings are a normal reaction to a busy and stressful life with the added bonus of a relatively new diagnosis- don't be too hard on yourself, take each day as it comes, talk to your loved ones and take the support that is offered you, I ended up leaving my post and taking a less paid job on less hours as I really couldn't continue juggling all the balls and staying healthy, I am not saying you need to do that but just be realistic about what is humanly possible and try and strike a balance. good luck x